Dolapo Douglas

Mummy.

What is it? Why are you crying?

What is wrong with you?

Mummy, Funbi slapped me.

- Funbi did what? - Funbi slapped me.

Funbi slapped you?

Your mate slapped you

and you are crying like a silly girl

back home to me?

How many times have I told you that when your mate slaps you

you are to retaliate with about five slaps.

Yet you have the guts to cry back home to me.

Hmm? Look,

my eyes are closed, before I open them... see

I just spat on the ground,

leave before it dries up.

Beat them till they are almost dead. Fracture their skulls.

If her mother shows up, break her arm.

If her dad shows up, stone him to death

then let me handle the rest.

Ah-ah! Can you just imagine?

You were beaten and you come home to me crying?

You're supposed to turn the place upside down.

My mum said one should not fear her mate.

My mate can not dictate to me.

She has told me to go turn the place upside down,

to retaliate to what was done to me.

Why don't you wait?

Why don't you wait?

He challenged me,

- I countered him immediately. - Thank you my dear.

- He wanted to subdue me! - What?

- I roared like a lion. - Thank you my daughter.

I asked for the money he owes me

He wanted to take me for a ride. Mummy!

I beat the hell out of him.

Don't you know that...

if a midget doesn't act tough

or act like a lunatic,

children would think the midget is their age mate.

Mummy! I, a child who was born in the house of wisdom

and raised in knowledge.

Please, how can't I be wise

and knowledgeable?

- I wonder? - Mummy Dollar,

You raised me well.

A Muslim religiously nurtures her child from an early stage,

a warrior trains his child to fight from an early stage.

You're right mummy,

life is full of warfare just like you used to say.

It is, it is my dear.

-Mummy -Yes

Where did you get so much money?

It's from Akanni the coco seller.

Really?

You mean the same Akanni the coco seller?

He said he likes my box of fortune.

The same Akanni who doesn't joke with his money?

You know that so well,

which means you have to accept his advances.

- Mummy, this is a lot of money. - Mmm!

- I have already accepted to his advances. - Hmm!

- You love money. - Mummy!!

- What? - Aren't you the one who taught me?

- Mummy Dollar. - Dollar baby, well done.

Don't worry, I will gift you dollars someday.

- Certainly. - I know you are will pamper me.

-Trust me -I will receive dollars,

-You should trust me -I will receive pounds.

I will also receive err... what's the third currency? Euro!

Let them feel us like pain.

Hit them,

so they can know you are here.

Let me hear gbas!

Let me hear gbos!

Let me hear gbas!

Gbas!

Gbas!

Alright!

Get down everybody!

Get down!

Get down! Now!

We are here to rob this bank, smoothly.

Thank you for your cooperation in advance.

And if you do not want to cooperate,

we will speak the language you understand.

Silent! In the box! Inside the box!!

Fast! One,

two, three,

four, five.

We're done sir.

Silent.

- And then, we move... out. - Move!

Let's go!

No, let's go for plan B.

You know that if we use plan A,

a lot of people will die.

And I want everyone of you to remember our rules,

okay?

-Yes boss -Get ready for plan B.

And then we disperse!

You're welcome.

You're welcome sir.

You're welcome sir.

- You're welcome sir. - We are here to see the manager.

Okay, wait a minute.

Hello sir,

someone is here to see you sir.

Okay sir.

Yeah, so you just go straight down.

The first office by your right side, that's the manager's office.

- Thank you. - Pleasure.

Yeah, come in.

You may have your seats.

You're welcome.

- Thank you. - Please um...

what help can I render to you?

Ah! well... What actually happened is

there is some money that

I want to deposit in the bank.

The money is quite a lot,

that was why I suggested that we come in here

you open an account for us

then we deposit the money.

Please, can you speak in Yoruba or English?

I don't understand Hausa.

- Oh! I'm deeply sorry, honestly. I forgot. - Okay.

What I'm trying to say is

I'm here with a lot of money.

So that is why I've come to your office

so I can open a new account

and deposit the money just like that.

-That's fine -Thank you.

Good good. Okay let me

make arrangements so I can call the...

Manager!

You make a sound,

I shoot. You get it?

Hello,

the babysitters are holding it down here.

You got it?

Delete those captured footage

and shutdown your CCTV cameras, right now!

And we move.

You wanna sound?

-Hello guys, -Yes boss.

Is he being cooperative?

- Yes boss. - Yes boss.

And we move.

Right! Really?

Amazing, awesome. Fully in?

Oh beautiful. Thank you. alright, alright. Take care. Yeah, bye.

I'm sorry,

I'm sorry.

It's a bank,

I'm not supposed to be too loud.

So please, pardon my manners.

Sorry, don't be annoyed.

Lie down everybody!

If you breathe down there!

You lift your face, you lose your life.

Do you understand?

Ladies and gentlemen,

we will rob this bank now!

I want you to cooperate with us.

I'm sure you don't want to put your lives in danger.

Is that clear?

Okay.

Fast!

And we move!

Okay, so ladies and gentlemen,

right, drop your phones.

Drop your phones!

Move in.

And we move!

Smart, intelligent D.D.

Do you know I count my blessings whenever

I realise how important you are to me?

Wow!

Thank you Father.

Wonderful.

Well done guys.

Well done.

- DD! - Jaguar.

This call for celebration.

Viper,

arrange with a girl,

let's have some fun.

DD!

Move in, move in.

D for D!

That's it.

Jaguar.

Hmm! My people please,

don't just fold your arms.

Things did not get ruined during my forefathers' reign.

Don't let it get ruined during my own reign.

No one can achieve anything on his own.

Or what is the use of having you as chiefs.

-Village head, -Hmm?