Deane's Dynasty - First Season

I'm Lydia. I'm a singer from Thailand

and I've been in the entertainment industry

for a very long time.

I've been with Lydia

for 17 years now

and we've been married for seven.

But it feels like 100.

One the surface, I have a great life.

Two beautiful kids

an amazing husband

loads and loads of friends and family.

But beneath the surface

not everything is as perfect as it seems.

You do not want to see

Dia when she is mega pissed off.

What are you happy with?

When you do something fucked up...

There's been so much shit.

Oh, now his phone's off?

OK, well, I fired him

because he's a selfish little dick.

Our parents raised us right.

What the fuck happened to Dunk?

Dictator Dia strikes again.

I sound like a psycho wife.

I'm Aerin. Lydia and I

we've been close since high school.

She's not just a friend.

She's like family to me.

I'm actually like her doppelganger.

I have a boyfriend named Ben.

He is a businessman

from a well-known family

and we're about to get married.

The subject of having babies is something

that me and Ben haven't really agreed upon.

If you didn't want to do it

then you shouldn't have agreed to it.

I don't wanna get married

if he doesn't want to have babies.

I don't want kids.

I'm Ploy Chermarn.

I've been in the industry since I was 12.

I've been in so many soap operas, movies

and commercials that I've lost count.

I got close to Aerin and Lydia

because we were in a soap opera together.

Everyone knows Ploy Chermarn.

She dates guys

who are handsome and super hot.

For those who want to know

about my love life

I'm ready to spill the tea.

We're ready to show you a side of the Deanes

you've never seen before.

Very inappropriate.

This is Deane's Dynasty.

I'm ready for the show.

Hey, let's go wash your hands. Come on.

Don't touch that.

All right, here we go.

I swear, two kids... enough, Matt.

Done.

The Deane household

is the ultimate definition of

chaos.

Dylan and Demi, they're good kids

but of course, you have to

always be on your feet.

I could use some time for myself.

Just sit and not do anything.

- Oh, my gosh. - Which one first?

You wanna swim?

You're pretty heavy.

Now imagine the third one

jumping off the counter

Where... how are we gonna catch

- that last one? - Let's go.

This is the joy of life.

Once you see how much siblings...

how much fun siblings, you know

they can have as a bigger family.

There's already two of them.

- And they're just like... one is fun. - OK.

- One is fun. Two... - Two is like

they have each other.

two to three times the fun.

Three or four would just be like

ten times the fun.

It would be awesome.

I grew up an only child

so growing up an only child sucks.

You wanna have lots of siblings around you.

Imagine how much fun you can have.

I'm down to have more kids eventually

if Dia's OK with it.

The more the merrier.

But you do have a responsibility

of getting a vasectomy very soon though.

Hell no!

I... no, I'm serious, Matt.

So you're suggesting that you want me

to, like, go and do something

that's very unmanly.

What do you mean "unmanly"?

You basically want me to cut my penis off.

I'm not gonna do that.

- I'm not gonna do that. - I didn't say that.

A vasectomy is not cutting your penis off.

You're not touching my testicles.

I had that done to my dog

when he was very, very young and...

Matt, they don't do that to humans.

And it changed that dog for life.

That's for dogs.

That's like a sin. To stop these sperm

from going to their rightful destination.

Like, come on.

Let them do what they were born to do.

Impregnate!

Can you take both of them

in the shower with you?

'Cause I actually need to, like

plan the songs that I'm gonna record.

- You gonna record? - Yeah.

- You want to? - I miss singing.

I haven't sung in such a long time

and it's something that defines me.

So I need to make new songs

have that and be proud of it.

- Like totally on it. - Get it done.

- Dylan, let's go shower. - Yeah.

I don't see you taking Demi.

Where is Demi? You're supposed to take

both of them in the shower with you.

- You said after two years - Come on.

you have them, you're gonna take care of them.

Hey, you're gonna jump back in there?

Dylan, shower time.

Are you not gonna take him out of the pool?

Matt!

- Hey! - Hello!

How are you?

Let's wait for Aerin.

- Whoa! - Wow! Hello you!

Hello you!

- How are you? - I'm good.

So we finally made a date.

I know, we finally did. All three of us.

- Made a date. - Sorry.

My tits are in your face.

Since I've had them done

I might as well show them off.

So my girls can have their time

in the spotlight.

We haven't met up in such a long while.

Yeah, it's been so long.

How many years has it been

since we did that show together?

- Ten or eleven years. - Eleven years.

Shit, that's so long ago!

Eleven years ago.

So, we met

because we did a show together

Lydia, Chermarn and I

called Rabum Duang Dao.

I'm going to show Khun Poj your true colours!

Go ahead!

Come here!

Your turn, Joem!

I'm going to tell Sir Poj!

Go ahead! If you can even manage

to get yourself out of that pond.

Damn you!

We got close working on the show.

We used to party all night and get so wasted

but things are different these days.

These days, I'm a total lightweight.

Really? We used to order vodka a lot.

- Yeah, now I can't. - Especially you, Lydia!

- Really? - Yeah, she drank like a horse!

He's waiting for us for order.

I'll have a spritz, please.

So, what have you been up to?

I took my dog to obedience school.

I don't want to hear about your dog.

There's something else I wanna hear about.

My plans to get married?

Aerin's getting married!

Seriously, I'm so happy for her.

She has found someone

who can take care of her.

Thank God. Thank you.

I never got the impression that

Ben wanted to get married.

OK. So, you see, his family

had a blessing ceremony

at the beginning of the year

and they invited an abbot to the company.

He is also, like, a clairvoyant.