Black Mirror

A woman who jumped from the roof

of a multi-story building in Camberwell yesterday

has been pronounced dead.

Okay, I found a place.

Five-star, swanky, the whole thing.

And I've never been to Spain before, so...

- Portugal. - Hmm?

Sagres is in Portugal, babe.

Okay, who cares? Look, it looks so nice.

- And you know all about looking nice. - Hey, now I've got hat hair.

Yeah, I like it like that.

Here, try this.

- What is it? - My new creation.

It's focus group today, so...

Oh, sneak preview. Lucky me.

- Mmm. Yeah. - Mm-hmm?

- Yeah? - It's great.

- What is it? - It's miso jam.

Hmm?

- Miso jam. - You so what?

- Oh, you are such a dick. - You so pretty.

- - You so tasty.

- -

And miso want a holiday.

Okay.

People may say that they're not ready for those textures in biscuits,

but our taste tests have rated off the charts, so...

- Ah, ah! That's my almond milk. - I was only gonna have a bit.

- But you can have any milk. - Well...

- That's the only vegan one. - Oh my God. You serious?

- Okay. - Milk fascist. Okay, I'll have some...

Ow!

- Maria, we're ready in here. - My kidneys!

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Guys, sorry. I'm gonna have to wrap up on this.

Looking like a regular Hucklebuck.

Yes, boss. Made just like you said.

- Oh, no nuts in the nougat, right? - Nah. Just sugar and egg whites.

Okay, good.

'Cause my EpiPen is way over there, and I can't be arsed to run.

I think you've done it again.

It's another of your mental ideas that, annoyingly, really works.

Okay. Got my guinea pigs at reception. All set?

Yeah. Wanna try one?

Come on in. Take a seat around the table, please.

Hi.

Okay.

They're amazing, but think about...

First thing I'm...

Guys, Captain Jack Sparrow at the end.

- What? - That guy. Look at him.

- That's nice. - Yeah.

Thank you.

- Anyone want a coffee? - Oh, yeah.

- Can I get a double espresso, please? - Black for me.

Can I get a latte?

Okay, well, thank you all so much for being here.

Um, I'm Camille. I'll be running today's session.

Hi. Sorry, is this the right room for the tasting thing?

Oh.

Oh, sorry, I don't think you're in today.

- Is that... - Oh.

No, it can't be.

Uh, I should be on your list. Verity Greene.

- Christ, that is her. Verity Greene. - Hang on.

Oh yes, you are down here.

Um, come on through. We haven't got going yet.

- Sorry. - You know her?

- I'll grab my seat... - Yeah, she went to my school.

- Sorry, so sorry. - Oh no, no bother.

- Hey. - Well, that's a makeover she's had.

- Oh yeah? - Okay.

Guys, time to dig in.

Our head of flavor has dreamt up a fresh take on our famous Hucklebuck,

and you lucky people get to try it first.

So have a taste,

and let's talk about how it makes you feel.

Yeah, do take a moment to sit with the flavor if you're not sure.

I'm sorry, but that's rank.

Okay.

I mean, I like the normal Hucklebuck,

but these are just... I mean...

I liked it.

What did you say the flavor group was?

Uh, miso. It's a sort of umami.

Why? Why would you do that?

- Can I have another one? - Yeah. Of course.

Take as many as you like.

Sorry.

Maybe it's just me, but it definitely grows on you.

Okay.

But on the second one, it's, like, ten times better. Honest.

You should try.

Mm. Actually,

now I've gotten used to it, it's...

it's not bad.

I like the saltiness.

Okay, saltiness.

It really compliments the chocolate, like, the contrast.

- Yeah. That's what I thought. - Great.

- Thank God for Verity, yeah? - Yeah.

- Thank you. - Punchy.

- Mm. - Well done, boss.

- The colors go... - Thank you.

That was my design brief.

- -

- Maria. -

Yeah, it's Maria, isn't it?

Verity Greene. Do you remember me? Colworth Manor High.

- Oh my God. Yes. Of course. - Yeah.

- Hi. Wow. It's been... - God, yeah... like, ten years?

- Crazy. - Yeah. What are the chances?

- Wow! - Are you here for the tasting thing?

Oh, no. No, no. No, I... I work here.

- You work here? - Yeah, in the R&D division.

- In the R&D? Oh! - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm just doing the focus group thing.

I really enjoyed it. It was so interesting.

All the new fillings.

- I mean, all the science of it. - Yeah.

Yeah. I think I'm definitely gonna apply for the job.

- Right. Sorry, the job? - Yeah, the, uh, research assistant in R&D.

I don't think there is a job going.

Oh, the...

It said on the website there was a vacancy.

I'm quite... I mean, I'd know,

and I, yeah, I don't think there is a job going right now.

- Oh. - Sorry.

Yeah, I could have sworn...

Oh. That's a pity.

If you remember anything about me, you'll know that I love a lab.

Yes.

I was such a geek at school, wasn't I?

- Well... - I, like, lived in the computer room.

Yeah, you were...

I'm amazed you remember me at all because you were definitely popular.

I mean, I don't know...

Oh yeah. No. Especially compared to me.

Like, what was I?

Um, look, I... Actually, I have to go.

- Oh God, sorry. Yeah. Sorry. - Yeah.

Yeah, um...

- It was good to see you. - Yeah, you too.

Hey, Gabe.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Oh, nice one on the miso jam Hucklebuck. - Oh.

Camille said they were hesitant at first, then...

- Yeah, it's a grower. - A big grower.

They asked for takeaways.

I just saw we've got an advert for a research assistant.

- Oh yeah. Yeah, it went up a few days ago. - It's just that we hired Luisa in March.

Well, expanding the team.

I mean, we're doing well. You are doing well.

Ditta's really into your mallow concept.

- Might launch it globally if he likes it. - Mr. Ditta said that?

Ask him if you don't believe me. He'll be here Thursday.

- Here? - Yeah.

Gonna get myself a new shirt.

She's this girl I went to school with.

I haven't seen her in years, and then today, bam,

she's in one of the focus groups, and then she's after a job in our office.

- In your office? - My office.

- Is there a job going? - Well, yeah, but not for her.

- She was, like, the school freak. - Is that her official title or...

She was clever,

like, brainbox clever to the point where she was sort of "off."

Zero social skills.

She had this mad hair.

She was always scribbling, like, these weird little diagrams

of, like, computers that she wanted to build.

She... sounds kind of cool.

No, she definitely was not cool. Right from the off.

And there was this rumor about her.

Spicy rumor?

That she wanked off Mr. Kendrick in the computer room.

What, "Mr. Kendrick"? What, like a teacher?

Yeah. But it probably wasn't even true.

- It was... - That is...

Teenagers love to gossip, even if it's bullshit.

This is you saying you gossiped about Verity?

- Everyone gossiped about Verity. - Okay.

- It was just... She was just... - An easy target?

Not for me.

This one girl, Natalie Caine,

when she heard about the Mr. Kendrick stuff, she was ruthless.

She kept calling Verity "Milkmaid,"

like, over and over till it stuck,

and then that was just her name.

Like, "Look at Milkmaid's hair." "Look at Milkmaid sitting on her own."

- Kids can be vicious. - Mm.

But she was always this big computer genius at school,

and this says she's been working at a travel agent.

- Wait. Are you stalking her? - No.

But to go from that to food research, I mean, why?

Maybe she's got the qualifications.

She won't have the qualifications.

Uh, after that, then I took molecular biochemistry at Cambridge.

Yeah. I was quite proud because I got a first.

So I see.