Love, Sex and 30 Candles

Okay, breathe, breathe. Just breathe.

I love you.

Future Mrs. Mokoena.

Yeah.

Ooh!

Baby,

you haven't said you love me in a while.

Since our engagement.

- Come on. That's not true. - It is.

We don't have to wait until our wedding day, you know.

'Cause we are still getting married, right?

Listen, um,

I don't know if it makes sense for us to still get married

if the love isn't mutual.

And you love me way more than I love you, Lehumo.

It's a...

Uh...

Linda.

I'm sorry.

Welcome back. It's now time to meet the formidable Professor Kwame,

who is also a resident professor at a top university in Gauteng.

Prof, welcome to the show.

Thank you for having me.

Your recently launched book,

Finding The Love You Deserve, is flying off the shelves.

This is not your first book.

Please tell us a bit more about what inspired this book.

I travel the world a lot, and...

Mom, this show is really boring.

Um, I'm leaving now-now, baby. It's just... I know him.

He's... the new professor in my department.

Still boring.

See?

Okay, I'm leaving.

Mom, Dad's still fetching me tomorrow, right?

That is what he said. Okay, don't stay up too late, okay?

Tebogo, um... look, I'm just checking

if you're still coming to fetch Phemelo tomorrow. She's...

She's really excited.

Yeah, I'm just... I'm just checking.

- Sade... - I'm sure the Man upstairs won't mind.

- We're almost married. - But I mind.

I made an oath to Him, and I intend to keep it.

- Come on, baby. - Don't... Sade! Whoa.

Okay.

Fine. I need to go.

Do you really have to go?

- Do you really have to be so sulky? - I'm not sulky. I just...

You know how I feel about those women. I don't trust them.

Baby, those are my best friends.

And they haven't given you any reason to not trust them.

Sade, you become a different person when you're with them.

- I become myself when I'm with them. - Are you?

'Cause it's not the same person I see in church,

the same person I asked to marry me.

So, which version of Sade do you wish to be?

Look, at least just text me when you get home.

- Mm. - You know...

I will.

- Hey, let's get this party started. - Yes!

Nolwazi, I hope you cooked.

Where?

Guys, she's 30, things change.

Please act like you're not our friend.

- - Ooh, this is nice.

I like this.

Thank you, thank you. I could do without the shade on my birthday, ladies.

- - You know what we could do with?

The most important ingredients of the night.

- Of course. -

Uh, no, I'm okay. Thank you.

Oh, no, friend, it's fine. I...

We just have to pray over it,

and I'm very sure God will forgive you, so...

No! Stop it.

No, no, no. No, ladies, let's speak about it.

When have you ever seen Sade decline a glass of bubbly?

Since Winston believes that a good wife does not drink alcohol,

and I am that good wife.

Mm. Of course, our fave, Winston.

Yeah, Mr. Personality.

Okay. I think that's enough, and I think it's time for a toast.

Alright.

- What, guys? I can't toast with a cake. -

Okay, let's toast.

To Nolwazi.

To all your dreams coming true.

And to lots of money.

And to your name on every single billboard,

and on the most expensive clothes you could ever find.

Yeah.

- Cheers! -

- Happy birthday, baby. - Thank you.

- - Um...

Ladies, let me be the one to state,

our good friend, Sade, has lost all her personality and spark

ever since she joined that cult...

What?! It's not a cult, it's a church.

And there's nothing wrong with change. Maybe you should try it.

And in fact, you know what, guys?

Winston has inspired me to find my better self, okay?

What's wrong with your current self?

Nothing. It's just that I know I can be a better person,

and in fact, the only wrong thing is our relationship is me.

And that you guys actually haven't had any sex.

That's why our wedding night is going to be so special.

Okay, okay, guys, I found it. Are you ready?

- What? - Ready for what?

- Oh, my God. -

You didn't!

- Breaking news. Uh... - Mm-hmm.

Lehumo and I are over.

Yoh.

- Typical Linda. - Okay, what happened this time, Linda?

I don't know. I was just feeling this pressure.

Like, you know, turning 30,

you should be married, live your lives together.

- I didn't wanna be left on the shelf. - Ugh! The dreaded shelf.

- My final resting place. -

Okay. So, does you mom know about this?

Um, no.

No. Um...

She's been in and out of hospital.

So I just didn't want to add to the stress.

Okay, well, friend. Um...

I hate to kind of break it to you...

...but, um, whenever you get really close to someone,

- you dump them, you do. - Mm. Yes.

Like baby-faced Thabo.

- And the guy that moved to Cape Town. - Mm!

And then after meeting his family, you dumped him.

- - Yes, Terence! Terence!

- And that dancer guy, Mondli. -

It's actually really sad, 'cause now it's Lehumo.

Oh, my gosh, poor Lehumo...

I feel like it's your MO. You need to figure out what that's about.

- Okay, Lehumo is boring. -

As in, like, yes! Bored.

Yeah, and I'm sure he became boring when he gave you an engagement ring.

Mm, that's true.

Say it.

- I can't. My mouth is... -

Is that how you react when you get Tebogo's message?

Mm! That man must've sprinkled something over you

for you to still react like that.

Ten years later. Babe, I hope he knows how much you love him.

Yes, I do love him, but there's more to our relationship than that, guys.

I just... I love how he's such a present father to our daughter.

He's barely getting that part right.

Well, at least he tries, right?

True.

But the story I'm most interested in is about the professor.

Mm.

Well, there's nothing to tell.

We're just colleagues.

Colleagues... Is that a code for "I got a crush"?

No. Guys, am I not allowed to have a crush every now and then?

And nothing is going to happen.

Okay? Tebogo is still the one.

Mm. Is he, though?