House

Excuse me.

I've been waiting here for over an hour.

All I need is a refill on my migraine medication.

- We'll get to you as soon as we can. - You can get to me now.

It'll only take you two minutes.

- You're not an emergency. - This isn't an emergency room.

And it's not gonna go any faster by pissing me off.

- Got a minute? - No.

Routine checkup can wait. What else you got?

I'm consulting on some clinical trials that involve C.N.S. Compounds.

While it's true that no sometimes means yes,

- in this context... - One's a new Huntington's drug.

Phase three trials are showing real results

delaying neuronal degeneration.

I can probably get you in.

No, thanks.

Are you doing anything about it, following any kind of program?

No. Now am I looking for a consult.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Dr. Cuddy.

Well, she's either not here, or she's under the desk.

You're gonna have to wait outside until I'm finished.

- Do you know when she'll be back? - Yes, which is why

I need you to get out and leave me alone.

Sorry.

Nice try. Love to help.

Shut up!

- You wanted to see doctor... - I said shut up.

I'm sick, and I want to know why.

I want the best doctor in this hospital here, now...

Or I'm gonna start killing people.

What seems to be the problem?

House - Season 5 Episode 09 "Last Resort"

Sync: NIZ

Close those blinds.

You, push the sofa in front of that door.

You, move that table in front of the other door.

Now!

Just move it.

You don't have to point the gun man. We're gonna do whatever you want.

No, we're not.

That's a bathroom you're barricading. It might come in handy,

especially since you've cleverly decided

to take a bunch of sick people hostage.

Do it!

My medical records. I need you to read them.

You really think that reenacting dog day afternoon

is the best way to get diagnosed?

I'm sure you've been waiting for hours in an uncomfortable chair, but...

you should watch the movie all the way through.

I've been to 16 doctors

in the last two years.

Had three full-body CTS

and two MRIS,

seven blood panels, and one homeopathic consult.

And all that was missing was the threat of violence.

What's missing is an answer!

I can't breathe!

I'm tired... All the time.

I get skin rashes, and heart palpitations,

and insomnia.

That's a cool constellation of symptoms.

It could be something minor. At least compared to life in prison,

which is what you seem to prefer to seeing 16 more specialists.

Shut up and do your job.

You barely looked at the file.

No need. Symptoms...

Those are the things you keep whining about.

Tests-negative, or you wouldn't be here.

History-shy, quiet kid.

Kept to himself.

Collected comic books and missing children.

Excuse me, my wife feels sick to her stomach.

Next time pack some heat, maybe we'll look into it.

I'll be okay.

If you ask me,

keeping an open line of communication is the best way to resolve conflict.

What kind of breathing problems?

Shortness of breath.

And...

sharp pain when I inhale.

So you figured your wife left you

because you couldn't breathe, right?

Me, I rarely kidnap someone

unless I've got a serious health problem.

Since you're not almost dead, it means you're armed

`cause you're blaming something other than your health on your health.

I've never been married.

- Got a match? - Why?

Because I'd rather not stand here while you try

and negotiate a hostage trade for an incentive spirometer.

- I'll look in Cuddy's desk. - Stay out of the desk!

She doesn't smoke.

He does.

- No, I don't. - Right.

You brush your teeth with coffee grounds.

Look, sir, I've never smoked in my life, OK?

Jerk.

You figure that two people snuck weapons into the clinic today?

I'm sorry. It's just...

I got a lighter.

Slowly.

Hold it out as far as you can. Try to blow it out.

Decreased lung volume. Heart palpitations,

fatigue, stomach pain.

An intermittent rash- Could be 100 things.

If you add on that final symptom,

it can only be pulmonary scleroderma.

What final symptom? Those were all my symptoms.

Last one is the 16 doctors who missed it.

Simple alkylating agent, case solved.

See you on visitor's day.

- Crime scene! - What's going on in there?

- Is everyone all right? - About to be.

Assuming he's not lying. But he seems like a pretty

straight arrow to me.

I'm gonna need some propofol to prove that

it's pulmonary scleroderma.

- Then we all get to go home. - Propofol?

- Have one of the guards bring it in. - No, no guards. No cops.

- I'll go get it. - No one's leaving.

She's not a cop?

Dr. Cuddy brings in the drugs.

Alone.

She might be armed.

I'd have her deliver it shirtless.

Who is it?

Oh, god, House.

- Maybe we should wait for... - Guys with even bigger guns?

- Who know how to talk to armed... - Say good-bye or I shoot her.

Roll up your sleeve.

Give it to someone else first.

You're the only one who needs it.

Give it to someone else.

If it goes in okay, you can give a second dose to me.

I don't care who. Just pick someone.

Again, had your brilliant plan included a roomful of hostages

that don't have fetuses, bacterial and fungal infections,

leaving their immune systems too week to deal with the metabolic strain,

or are already on pain killers that have fatal interactions...

He's not on pain killers.

I heard him tell her in the clinic.

Come on, man.

Don't take it out on us. You got a problem with doctors?

Take it out on the doctors.

Give it to her.

She's sick.

You are a very large creep.

Take off your shirt.

Satisfied?

Fine.

Roll up your sleeve.

You think I'm an idiot?!

That's what you think?!

I thought I had a little more time with a guy that size.

You're not gonna do anything.

You still need me.

Come on!

What are you doing? He didn't do anything.

You're right. I need you.

I also need you to know you can't screw with me.

It's for you.

Lieutenant Bowman, Princeton SWAT.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, dean of medicine.

We just heard a gunshot, but I haven't been able to make contact.

We'll handle that once we secure our perimeter

and set up our positions.

By "perimeters," I assume you mean snipers?

- We have to put an end to this. - Got a husband in there or a loved one?

- No. - Don't worry,

we'll decide when to start shooting.

House is gonna get someone killed.

Guy's ready to kill for a diagnosis, I can't think of a better doctor

- to be trapped in there with him. - How'bout someone who's not gonna

keep pushing the whack job's buttons until he cracks?

It's House.

- Joe's bar and grill. - It's foreman,

and every fellow you've had in the last five years.

What causes low lung volume,

heart palpitations, fatigue, stomach pain,

insomnia, and a rash?

This is pathetic. If I strap a bomb to my chest,

do I get seven doctors attending to me?

Dr. Robert chase.

On the off chance you have some brilliant escape plan

and are the vengeful type.

You think he's the only guy in New Jersey with an unsolved illness

and a pistol?

- I'm not playing this game. - Seriously?

You're walking out?

No, he's just kidding. He's right here.

Throw me that marker, will you?

Chest pain, the lung problems, fatigue, rash.

Sounds like chronic lung infection.

Heart palpitations and fatigue

could be a cancer that's spread from the lungs.

- Next! - If his diaphragm's not working,

- his nerves are freezing up. - I think he's going into shock.

First rule of triage, guys with guns go first.

Next!

The shortest distance between stomach pain and insomnia