Gary Moore: Live at Montreux

Here.

- -

Ready?

As I'll ever be.

Slow.

What?

-No, it's good. -Good?

You know what I mean.

Surely it ought to be better than... good.

You're telling me, pal.

Joy, come on. If we're fucking...

All right, I'm sorry. Sorry.

I'm just... I'm in a lot of pain and feeling really self-conscious.

That makes two of us.

Well, if you just... I mean, if you... more technique to kind of get in that way.

Sorry, technique?

You know what I mean.

No. No, I'm not sure I do, actually.

I'm not the one with the problem, Joy. So don't try and...

I'm not trying...

...needle away at my... craft.

Your craft?

Well, I am sorry, skilled woodsman.

You're right. We really need to work on it.

You know what? How about instead of making jokes...

No, all right.

No, I'd like to finish, please.

I think you've been using all this as an excuse.

What?

And I think you have been for months.

I don't think you want to have sex with me, Joy.

Blimey, Neil's keen.

["What Would You Do" by Joan As Police Woman plays]

Mum, have you seen my shoes?

What?

Just... I wish you'd...

They're in the kitchen by the back door.

-How come? -Because I polished them.

-Why? -They were covered in shit.

You're mental.

Bye.

-Good morning. -Morning.

See ya later, ya filthy animal.

Neil, you punctual bugger...

Morning, Claire.

Erm...

I was just... looking for a present for Rita.

It's... hard to know where to start.

Morning, sir.

Morning.

-Good morning, sir. -Morning.

Morning, Claire. How goes it?

Is everything all right?

Thank you.

Here's a question. How often do you masturbate?

Nice.

I'm interested.

Why?

Once or twice a week.

You're kidding? I'm at once or twice a day at this point.

Well, you're nothing if not thorough.

I think I walked in on my mum having a wank.

Shit. I think that means the world has to pretty much implode now.

I'm just saying.

She's allowed to masturbate.

But I thought old people were supposed to go off sex. It's like Darwin and shit.

Your mum isn't thatold.

She's pretty old.

What's up?

Tom's mum's been flicking the bean.

I'm in. Hit me. Details.

You flat out disgust me.

Either he was finishing up... or he was just getting going.

Oh, my God.

- He had a catalog. -Catalog?

Yeah. Like a... as in, like, a mail-order underwear catalog.

Oh, Jesus.

And then he reached for his belt and I was like...

what the actual fuck?

I'm so sorry, Claire.

What do I do? I mean, presumably Janet's gotta know?

Hmm.

How would you feel, in the first instance, if I had a word with him?

And then, you know, of course, if we feel actually...

if we decide we feel a line has actually been, then...

Yeah.

We'll speak to Janet, no question.

I really am sorry, Claire.

No, gave up years ago.

Oh.

Sorry. I knew that.

Freak.

Like some water?

-Thank you. -Sure.

Yep.

Elaine? No? Okay.

It's a beautiful garden.

Oh, thank you.

It's a tricky time of year, you know...

autumn and... winter round the corner.

Coming frost.

So how do... what's the...

I mean, do you want us to get this ball rolling? Or...

Well, it's up to you. I can start by explaining a little about myself...

-Okay. -How I like to work.

The last 20 years, I've been working with a mixture of individuals and couples

using primarily psychodynamic and psychoanalytic techniques.

I like to work with a small number of clients

often over a period of years.

So no quick fixes here, I'm afraid.

And if, after this initial session, you decide to move forward,

we should aim to meet at this time and this location each and every week.

And if you cancel or you're unable to attend a session,

you will, I'm afraid, still be charged.

I'm conscious this might sound a little mercenary

but the purpose, or the aim,

is to create a time and a space which is entirely yours, week on week.

A private, safe, well-bounded space

where frank, intimate discussions can take place.

But this might not be what you two are after.

So, you know, in that case, let's...

please, let's have a conversation about that.

But the purpose, or the goal, of this first session

is very much to see if the three of us might be able to work together, so...

feel free to size me up.

I think that all sounds...

Well, we...

-So maybe a bit about us? -Mmm.

So this was...

I was the one who suggested...

maybe that's a good...

So some friends of ours...

I said to them, I said that Elaine and I, I said that we'd been having a few...

and he said, "Well, have you thought about..."

'cause him and his wife, they'd been, you know...

And...

They called it analysis. I don't know if that is therapy?

It's...

But they said, he said... my friend... our friend... that it was a godsend.

They're his words and he is... he is a hard bloke to please.

And then that got me thinking, well, if it can work, then why not?

So we looked at your website.

Great.

And we both really liked the look of that.

Great.

You will tell me, won't you, if I'm talking too... or rabbiting on and on.

I don't...

It's...

I'm not trying to take over here.

Erm...

I suppose...

in a nutshell...

something seems to have...

in the past year or so...

and I...

I think all I want really is for us to just be able to get along.

Like we used to, you know.

Perhaps, James, you could say a little more about what you mean by,

"Getting along like we used to"?

Do you want an example?

Yeah, great.

Erm...

Hey. So what you doing tonight?

Just 'cause my dad's pretty much gonna be out

and I thought we could finish that documentary on lactose intolerant Mormons?

Shit. Do you like Franzen? I love Franzen.

Sorry, were you talking to me?

I was just saying The Corrections is, like, one of my favorite books.

Oh. Okay.

Have you read Purity? It's his new one, his newest one.

-I haven't. -It's seriously...

I mean, the bits I've... I haven't actually...

I've only just... but the bits I've...

Oh. Okay.

What the fuck was that?

It's called conversation.

I think we might need a bucket to mop up all the semen.

Your coccyx, as you can see here, is looking great.

Well, I've always prided myself on having a great-looking coccyx.

Any pain still?

Well, some...

-And where are we up to with physio? -I'm about to start hydrotherapy.

Great. Sports?

I don't really do any sports. Should I? Should I be...

We generally advise against anything too athletic at this stage. But...

Cycling? I'd like to start cycling again.

Regular, light, day-to-day activities, absolutely.

What about sex?

As long as the sex isn't too athletic.