DTF St. Louis

Okay. Let's go. I know.

- We're in a hurry. I know. - It's cold.

- We got it. Let's zip it up. - All right, guys.

- Zip it up. - Give me a hug. Come on.

- Bye, Daddy. - There we go.

All right. Goodbye.

- Have a great day, sweetheart. - We gotta get these backpacks in.

- Gotta go. Go ahead, go. - Okay? All right.

- Okay. Bye-bye. - See you later.

See ya. Here you go. Get 'em in. Okay.

Okay, Richard. Put your head on your dad's heart.

- Stepdad. - Okay. That's...

The important thing is that you can hear his heart.

And we'll listen to the words that he chooses to send from it.

- Can you? - Kind of.

Okay. Good.

And, Dad, go ahead and get your arms around your guy.

- Stepdad. - Okay. Let's

let's get your arms around your stepdad.

Okay. Now let's share our considered statement.

Okay, my considered statement is...

"Hey, it's okay. I also got C's."

And it's from me to Richard.

"Richard..."

Hey

it's okay.

I also got C's.

I know where you're coming from.

And I want you to know right here

"that you are not average."

I can feel your stomach on my forearm.

Okay. Yeah, that's because my

my shirt's riding up a little bit because I have my

my arms up above my shoulders.

"I was really only good at the classes... "

Wait, why don't your clothes fit?

Because I gained a little weight.

And I don't wanna get bigger stuff

because it's kind of a snowball effect.

I wanna be around for a long time because of you.

So I'm gonna lose weight

because of you. Okay?

So that's why my shirt is small. Can I finish my thing?

- Please. - Yeah.

"Hey, I just don't want you to someday get grown-up C's."

Grown-up C's means that maybe you're in a relationship

with someone who's unkind.

Grown-up C's means you maybe don't have friendships

that share laughter and those lighthearted moments

that take the edge off of...

Off... The edge off of all of life.

Grown-up C's means you're often sad a lot

because you haven't discovered

and then found a way to share what's wonderful about you.

I want you to get grown-up A's, man

because I love you.

And that just means you're happy and peaceful.

And that would make you way above average, man.

Let's get there together.

I will help you all of the time.

Love...

"Floyd."

Okay, thank you, guys.

Who would like to go next with this exercise?

This is just ripping

through downtown.

If you're anywhere in

the downtown area

you're gonna wanna shelter in place.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

- I don't... - Holy shit, Forrest!

Holy shit!

Thank you. The...

We're gonna find some shelter ourselves.

That was a little too close for call.

Nick, I'm gonna want you to get some shelter.

- You get some shelter. - Shelter in place!

Shelter in place! Shelter...

Oh, hey. Hey.

- Hey. - That was rude.

- I'm so sorry. - What was?

I referred to you by your last name

when I saved you from getting sliced by that sign.

I don't... I don't remember that exact...

I said, "Holy shit, Forrest!"

Yeah.

- But you saved me, man. - But that's... rude.

Oh, hey. We weren't even ever properly introduced.

And... and come on, that was a pretty intense report, man.

Yeah. We hung in there.

- Yeah, we did. - I don't think a single deaf

or hard of hearing person was lost during that cyclone.

Yeah. I don't think anyone was.

Well, you know, good first day.

That... that was your first day signing?

No, no, it's my first day at the station, though.

I've been signing for, like, a year plus.

So, you're not, like, hard of hearing?

No, no, no.

How... how did you get into...

I have Peyronie's disease.

That's...

- I... I don't know if... - It's...

I have a curve in my penis greater than 30 degrees

so that's Peyronie's. So...

You know what?

It was just... You know, it was a great

great field report, man.

Way... way to be. Way to be!

Hey, way to be, you too.

I'm gonna make sure that you're working

all of my emergencies, you know?

The other cyclones, and flooding and shit.

Man, I would love that. I'm Floyd Smernitch.

Clark Forrest.

- All right. - Yeah.

- So, you guys have a son? - Oh, yeah. Richard.

What's he into after school?

He likes to... You want a hot dog.

He likes to draw.

- He likes to draw birds. - Wow.

- Yeah. - Wow. Yeah.

Well... well, what... what do you do at Purina?

I'm, like, an accounting...

- Okay. - clerk.

But I pretty much help everybody, top to bottom

with, you know, like anything accounting, so...

It's Purina National, so...

- Purina National. - Yeah.

Nice.

- Hey, man. - Hi!

- Come on in. Hey there. - Hi, sweetie.

- How's it going? - Get in there.

Well, now, we wanted to repay the favor

for your cornhole thing, and what have you done?

Yeah, well, you know, I realized

that you and Carol didn't get enough cornhole at our last party.

I thought I'd give you guys another, you know, opportunity.

That's... Listen, that's... come bring 'em on in. Thank you.

- Hey, Clark. - Carol.

Hey... hey.

What's the... what's the activity here?

- Aiming? - Aiming rocks at Clark's house.

Yeah, I don't...

That's gonna scratch that.

Let's choose a different act... activity, okay?

Hey, man, can I get a little help?

Need to move the swing. Nice vest.

Okay. That's a good spot.

I like that spot.

Are you sure this is the best place

for two little girls to be swinging around?

It's pretty close to the tree.

Yeah, I wanna be able to keep an eye on 'em from the... the kitchen.

To safeguard them.

That's good common sense.

Isn't that nice?

Hey.

So I saw this thing.

A segment while I was waiting for my broadcast.

Okay?

It was a report... it was a report about an app.

Dating.

Well, not... not... not really a dating...

"DTF St. Louis."

What's DTF?

"Down To Fuck."

Down to fuck?

So,

so you meet these people, married people.

It's mostly for married people, the reporter was saying

who are very happy

and they wanna stay in their healthy marriages.

But

they're also down to, like

fuck... people that they've never met before

you know, in St. Louis.

So, you can spice it

without, you know, creating commitments or...

Spice what?

Spice your life. Spice it up.

Yeah.

Umpire.

Yeah, you talked about that. Umpire.

Carol became an umpire for some extra money.

An umpire.

I see her in her ump gear, you know, like

puffy chest guard, and the blazer

and the mask that's puffy too.

And shin guards and...

And we haven't had sex since.

Pretty much.

When we'd start having sex, I'd say to myself

"Hey, don't think about the umpire gear."

And then I think about the gear.

And if I wasn't thinking about it

and if it's going good, I think, "Oh, this is going good.

I'm not thinking about Carol in umpire gear."

And then I think of Carol in that puff blazer again.

Just... Yeah.