Black Goat

I think we're on the right path now.

You should have let me navigate.

Hey, we're on the right path now aren't we!

We'll see.

You're hiking with a Boy Scout.

You're in safe hands.

You weren't in the scouts.

Sure I was!

So, where are we?

You've got us lost, you idiot!

No, no, we're not lost.

Just admit it.

James!

Okay, I admit, I think we're lost.

Look at this.

You know what this means?

What?

It means we're not lost after all.

This pond has got to be on this map.

We know where we are. We've got a landmark to work with.

So?

That's weird.

What is?

This pond's not on this map.

What?

Oh...

You're right, it's not on here.

Weird.

Did you buy the most recent map?

Yes, exactly as we agreed.

It's got last year's date on it.

So it's recent.

Not the first to find it though.

Come on, let's find somewhere to set up.

Yours looks burnt!

I'm going for the more well done vibe.

Looks like the charcoal vibe to me.

Look, it's fine.

It's just how I like it.

Great.

Did I tell you I used to be a chef?

No, you didn't.

You can't cook for shit.

Wow. That hurts.

When did you used to be a chef?

Give me the punch line.

For your information

I was a chef at Big Daddy's Burger and Fry House.

Thank you.

What happened?

I... I was fired.

Did you burn the place down?

Oh, my gosh, you did.

You burnt the place down!

It was a small fire.

It didn't burn down...

It wasn't a big deal.

Oh, Okay.

Did you hear that?

There!

Surely you heard that?

I didn't hear anything.

I'm serious.

Listen...

What was that?

See, I told you.

There's someone out there.

Where are you going?

Just have a quick look.

Sounds weird.

What time is it?

It's early.

Go back to sleep.

Good morning and welcome to Blackwood Radio.

Where we keep the shadows at bay and the music at play

with me, Gerard Thompson.

And here to kick start your day

one of my favorite tracks right now, it's Ghost Town.

Good morning.

Is it?

Well...

I've had worse starts to a day Dennis

Is everything all right?

You seen the local papers this morning?

Yeah, I have.

More dead livestock.

What do you make of this

Black Tar Disease anyway?

If I'm honest

the community has blown it way out of proportion.

I had several locals call me last night about this.

Out of hours.

Saying what?

Saying we should check out Blackwood Pond.

That far out.

Yeah.

Exactly what I thought

They were saying,

Something about the stream, it runs through the pond.

The pond could be contaminated or stagnant.

Obviously, they're saying that the stream irrigates a lot of their farmland.

I don't know.

Could just be a big waste of our time.

One thing's for sure, though.

We're gonna have to do some field work on this.

Yeah, sure.

What have you got on?

Besides finishing my pesticide report for Grayson's,

and a couple of small fly-tipping orders,

it's a pretty quiet week.

So you've got nothing on basically, so you could do it straight away?

Yeah, we can head out to the lab and grab some sample kits.

Head out when you like.

As much as I'd like to go out and do this with you.

Someone like you needs to go out so I can

deal with some of the more important stuff.

There's going to be more

telephone calls, gonna be more complaints.

If you're telling me you can't do it on your own,

then just take the apprentice.

You know how important this is don't you?

Sooner we get the samples,

sooner we can put all this shit to bed.

Don't worry.

I'll have the samples back

by the end of the day.

I'll check in when I'm back.

Make sure you do.

My name's Ben.

I'm the...

The Wildlife Forestry Commission.

I'm just out here taking a few samples.

The dead livestock?

Sorry... Am I...

Am I intruding?

No, No, No...

Are you local to Blackwood?

Yes.

I've not come across any signposts so...

I wasn't sure if any of this land was private or not.

It's not private.

It's owned by itself.

The land?

Yeah.

Is there any chance

you could point me in the direction back to the main path?

I'm trying to find Blackwood Pond.

What do you want with Blackwood pond?

I'm just after a few water samples.

And, I can't actually find it. So...

It's a beautiful landmark, isn't it?

Well, I can't actually find it. So...

Things aren't always the way that

they seem they are, are they?

Suppose not. No.

So, if you can just

point me back

in the direction of the main path, I'll be gone.

No.

The main path's over there.

And what about the pond?

Excuse me.

What about the pond?

What a fucking loon.

Couldn't be summertime.

Oh shit!

Hello?

Hello.

Fuck this.

So what you looking for?

Blackwood Pond.

It's that one.

You'd think so wouldn't you.

It's on here, yeah?

The old map.

Nothing.

Fairly recent.

No pond.

In the middle.

Different position.

It's not even on this one.

So it explains why I got lost yesterday.

Yeah.

Have you tried any online maps?

I don't get how they can all be so different.

Conspiracy theory...

I bet it's just that the

old ones

are hand drawn.

So they're not going to be very accurate.

Are they?

And it's not exactly a national landmark, is it? So...

No...

It's weird though, isn't it?

You'd still expect to see it on an online map.

I mean, how big is it?