Married to It

I can't believe we're really here.

It's such a long way from home.

Wasn't that the idea?

Something wrong with yours, hon?

It's got legs.

It is squid.

It is?

How was I supposed to know calamari was squid?

Why did you order it?

I'm trying to develop more sophisticated tastes.

A big shot like you can't be married to some hick from Iowa.

You're not some hick. You're my hick.

Thanks... I think.

Tea for the lady,

and milk for the growing boy.

Happy anniversary, Chuckles.

Happy anniversary, Nina.

Of gettin' married or just livin' together?

Neither. Actually, it's the 16th anniversary of our first phone call.

You guys celebrate everything?

Everything good.

Which is everything.

Well, good isn't good enough. It had to be great.

Come on, you can tell me the truth.

Was it sort of okay, not too awful?

It... It was fine.

Yeah, that's what I said, it was a disaster.

There were hundreds of people there.

One hundred and forty three,

including the Mayor's entire staff and the cleanup crew.

Come on, Iris, what'd you expect?

You want people to spend the last day of summer watching clog dancing?

Come on, Dad.

Why not?

The city is a melting pot.

And we should be proud of all the different art forms that comprise our culture.

You sound like a press release.

Today is Labor Day, remember?

I just think we should focus on some of the labor struggles

our colorful neighbors have endured.

Yeah, that'll be a real crowd pleaser.

Oh, shit! Hey!

Oh! Asshole!

I love this car.

I think you married me for this car.

Legs first. Then mind, then car.

Maybe it was car, then mind, I don't remember.

Why did you marry me?

You're the second largest penis I've ever seen.

Okay.

"Who has the first?" he asked, begging for trouble.

A statue in the Piazza Signoria.

A statue, a statue. A sculpture? Mmm-hmm.

Very funny, very funny.

It's not fair. It's not fair.

Why? "Why?"

'Cause a sculpture could always send out for more marble.

I got to work with what I got.

Too bad.

What you've got works great for me.

Mmm.

I'm almost relaxed.

Oh, good.

I need some champagne and caviar.

Let's go to Petrossian and get drunk,

then go home and get in the hot tub.

Then I'd be totally relaxed.

Don't start, Claire. We're picking up Lucy.

Didn't we have her last week?

Yes, we did, and we're gonna have her tonight

for a few hours. That's all.

Tonight is the night before the first day of school.

I always cook her dinner.

How sweet.

It's kind of a tradition.

Yeah, hello? Yeah, hello...

Yeah. Please let me talk to Lucy.

No, no, your check is not late, Madeleine.

Today is a legal holiday. You'll get it tomorrow.

We're not gonna... Hello, baby.

Hi, sweetheart.

How's my girl?

Mmm, no, no, no, no.

Oh, this is kinda nice.

No. Yeah? No.

Diego hates yellow, remember?

He said it's the state color of New Jersey.

Diego... Well, it goes with everything.

We don't have anything for it to go with it.

Hey, get the one you want.

I've got to get to work so I can pay for it.

Are we so poor that I can't even have a new pair of shoes?

Your brother only wore those for three weeks.

In two weeks, you'll be telling me they're too small.

What about school jackets?

You need new jackets?

Everybody has them.

How much are they?

$150.

Geez, what a bargain. We should all get one.

Do they make 'em for dogs?

Can we just talk about this later?

Okay, now I'm gonna take a nice, cold shower.

And, oh, would you mind taking out Fenno?

I think he's gonna explode.

I'm already late.

Oh, hey, fine. Just lock him in your closet.

Just this way, Mrs. Bishop.

We've got a wonderful bunch of kids here.

Of course, they're normal,

so we have our problems, too.

Well, that's why I'm here.

You'll be dealing with a lot of divorce.

Single parents, kids caught in the middle of grownup problems.

Here we are. Here's your new office.

Just given it a fresh coat of paint.

Yes, I can smell it.

It's one of my favorite smells.

Yeah, me, too. New beginnings and all that.

Yeah. All that.

Well, I'm going to let you set up housekeeping.

Thank you. Remember, my door is always open.

Thanks.

Well, I can't predict the future.

That's true. I have been right every time.

Okay, I'll put the order through.

Great. I'll talk to you after the market closes.

Hey, Chuck, buddy. Pal.

Putz. Moron.

Listen, much as I hate to do it,

I gotta thank you for that Forestal tip.

I got a lot of very happy clients.

Good. I don't mind sharing the wealth.

Good. I don't mind returning the favor.

Here. Have a look at this Merotan stuff.

Looks very interesting.

I'll give it a look.

Not plotting a coup, are we?

No. Just trying to make you more money.

Keep doin' what you're doin'.

You were number one in commissions last quarter.

And we all know how hard you pushed for that.

No pain, no gain.

I don't know. Jeremy makes it look pretty painless.

He handled that Ferenco offering without one hitch.

I had a lot of fun with that one.

Oh, come on. Fun, my ass.

You put your dick on the line when it counted.

Yeah. Listen, you guys, I'm late for my 11:00,

so I'll see you later, buddy.

Chuck, we had to let Dexter go.

Oh, no.

It's harder these days to get the job done,

and he wasn't cuttin' it.

But the good news is I'm gonna give his accounts to you.

Great. You won't regret it.

Better not.

George Mullaney is his heaviest hitter.

You'll meet him tonight.

Mmm-hmm. I'll be ready for him.

Enough said.

wants to help you. Help.

Oh, please.

Hey.

Hey, if isn't our man about town.

You know what I love about this job?

What's that?

I get to go to exotic places.

Like 942 West 142nd Street,

an address, I might add, that no longer exists.

The exercise is great.

I climbed 23 flights of condemned steps today.

You know what I'm saving on a health club?

John, you are an inspiration to us all.

You also got an appointment waiting.

Oh, shit.

Mr. Petrovich?

Yes, yes, here, here.

Hey, Mr. Romero. How you doin'?

You tell me.

How's that kitchen job holding up?

It's bullshit. They put me on part-time.

They're screwing around with my hours

so I can't watch the kids when my wife works.

I'll call the manager again. I'll talk to him personally.

Look, I need a real job. Something with a future.

Stock options and profit sharing.

I can't raise my kids in an apartment.

We need a house with a yard.

It doesn't have to be fancy

as long as the schools are decent and the air is clean,

we'll pack up and leave tomorrow.

Do you have any jobs like that?

If I had one, I'd take it myself.

Thank you, Joy.

I can't believe I killed myself

to get back from Washington

so we could watch dirty movies, and now you're telling me...

Honey, I told you about this a million times.

It's very important to Lucy.