Hanky Panky (大釣哥)

Hello? Microphone test.

Hello?

Never mind, I don't need this.

My story began 26 years ago.

I'm Lan Dadiao.

When I was younger,

I was a kung fu master.

People used to call me Coach Lan.

I represented my village

in various competitions

from Kaohsiung's Love River to Tamsui River.

From Xiluo Bridge to Taipei Bridge.

I stood up against injustice.

Every evildoer rued the day he met me.

I also engaged in philanthropic work.

The police chief awarded me a plaque.

"When Coach Lan appears"

"Bad guys run for their lives"

When Coach Lan appears

When Coach Lan appears...

Bad guys run for their lives!

Bad guys run for their lives!

Thank you...

I was truly a kung fu expert.

Everyone knew me, Coach Lan.

Mister.

My son has a high fever. He needs a doctor.

Can I pawn these for NT$2,000, please?

Despite so, I couldn't go against destiny.

Are you OK, Yu?

Xiaolong.

Black Bear! I will remember your vile face!

Oh, my eye!

My eye hurts!

Are you OK, Yu?

Forget me, just save Xiaolong.

Hurry.

Wait for me. I'll be right back.

Wait for me.

Doctor?

Doctor?

Is anybody around?

Excuse me, ma'am...

My son is having a fever.

Can you please take care of him?

My wife got hurt on the way.

I've to go back and help her.

Please help me. I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Why didn't you wait for me?

Why didn't you wait for me?

Yu!

Yu!

How could you leave Xiaolong and me?

Despite being a kung fu expert,

I couldn't protect my wife and son.

So, I became incognito.

I've stopped participating in competitions.

I turned to making medicinal plasters

using an ancestral recipe.

Now, everyone calls me Brother Diao.

I've grown another pimple, Dad.

Pimple? Use a herbal plaster.

You love to nag, Dad.

You could use with one too.

We're using herbal plasters.

What are you looking at?

"Hanky Panky"

I learnt kung fu from an old man.

He might look old and decrepit

but he's a kung fu master.

He taught me pickpocketing skills

passed down from his ancestors

instead of Wing Chun or Jeet Kune Do.

The old man told me that

I've learnt the skills to take revenge.

Three years ago in June,

a series of incidents happened.

On that day, the cinema was crowded.

It was the perfect setting for pickpockets.

But the old man and I

weren't targeting the moviegoers

but the pickpockets.

The thieves themselves.

A pickpocket needs a lot of practice.

You behaved that way when you were little.

No, I was a better boy.

- Be careful. - Here...

You...

- I'm sorry... - Watch where you're going.

I'm sorry...

Let me help you...

I'm sorry... let me help you.

Hold it for me. Thank you...

I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry.

What the hell?

I'm sorry.

Why are you still here?

It's that kid's fault.

He bumped into me.

- How maddening. - What are you holding?

It's popcorn...

Oh no! They've stolen everything.

What's wrong, Mum?

My purse is gone.

Your purse?

That was a thief.

Stop the thief!

Excuse me, please make way.

Stop right there!

The thief is over there!

Oh no!

I've to go.

Oh my!

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry.

Dad.

Today's our day. Great.

- But Dad. - Not bad.

When are we going to quit being pickpockets?

What do you mean?

We're taking revenge for your mum.

We're sabotaging Black Bear's business.

Moreover,

have we ever spent the money?

We help those in need with it.

We're doing charity work, right?

A photo?

It's useless. Throw it away.

Good grief, these are pearls!

Let's sell them.

- Where can we sell them? - A jeweller.

We'll sell them in a thieves' market.

- What's a thieves' market? - You don't know?

The government knows

that thieves are desperate.

We have nowhere to sell the loot.

So, they set up a thieves' market

for thieves like us.

Do you understand now?

Look! It's him!

He took my wallet.

And the old thief stole the purse.

Officer.

I've something important in my purse.

You've to find it.

The old man looks familiar.

Did you arrest him before, Dad?

Kneel down!

- Boss... - Stay put!

You're all good-for-nothing.

You've disgraced me.

How dare you come back?

- Bloody hell! - Boss...

"No cursing"

We don't curse here.

Boss, they've been watching us

more closely than the police do.

Whenever I targeted someone

and picked his or her pocket,

they'd steal it from me right away.

Yes, Boss.

The old man looked like a horndog

but he was a brilliant thief.

Yes. The young man looked handsome.

It was like magic when they stole.

You're all bi...

bad.

Go and steal in the night market tonight.

If you fail again,

the guy will have his hands chopped off

while the women

will become prostitutes.

Get up! Or do you need a pillow?

Let's go!

Come on!

Boss,

this guy cheated in our gambling house.

Stop right there!

Come here!

Where do you think you're going?

Stay down!

Boss,

I'm sorry. I won't do it again...

Please let me off.

Hey, scumbag.

How old are you?

I'm 35, born in the Year of the Rooster.

You're 35?

Yet, you're already tired of being alive?

You still owe me one million, don't you?

Yes.

Gambling losses have made you desperate.

You've cheated repeatedly

in my gambling house.

Don't do this, Boss.

I'll pay you back if you spare me.

I'll pay you back no matter what.

- Boss... - Drag him out