Stath Lets Flats

Well, as you can see, this is a little bit slippery,

little bit slick, er, you've just got to, er, focus onto the towel

and you will be inside the flat,

believe in me and you.

A bit unsafe, maybe?

No, no, no, I bring my daughter here all the time.

It's as safe as the month of Ju-u-u-ne!

Whoa! Look at that!

HE GIGGLES

You missed out on some fun!

I don't need to go into every single, er, room,

but this one, you wanted to come in,

and I' never say no, that's my rule.

Never say no to anyone about anything they ever ask,

and that's what you get from us as a agency,

never say no,

and actually, sometimes, we struggle to say yes.

So let's get onto the next, er, room...

Well, yeah, the ceiling's a bit low no?

Oh, come on, kid, this is beautiful.

Snip the hair bump off,

let it flow,

you'll be able to do a mini jump for all I have known.

My boyfriend's about your height. Would he be able to jump?

Does he love jumping?

Yeah, he does. Why don't you try it?

Do you reckon you'd take, take the flat, if I jump, if I jump?

Yeah.

Welcome to your new property.

See? Easy. OK...

I heard, from you, you don't like things being low,

so I've got something nice and high for you.

Come with me, to have a good look, here.

So, er,

yeah.

Really odd.

It's a really odd, er, toilet.

But I thought, er, you might like it cos you've got that odd, er,

trousers top on, and, er, it is strong.

Honestly, go for the loo, I'll leave the room.

Strong as a uncle.

Gary Jones!

HE CHUCKLES

You'd have been happy for me to sit on that?

BEFORE it fell?

Thrilled for you, yeah.

All this is going online, by the way.

Do you have anything to say to my followers,

before you get cancelled?

OK. Hello!

Er, shoutout to my daughter, Dina, my sister, Sophie,

my g-, my ex-girlfriend, Katia,

I love ya! I need ya!

I need ya!

That sort of thing?

CHEAP-SOUNDING THEME MUSIC

Welcome for internet television,

Speak Greek Speak. It's interviews,

politics, celebration, opa and gossip.

Our guest today is scandal from the world of lettings agency.

True News. A girl make videos of ordinary Haringey letting agents

being naughty.

The one of our guests, Michael Eagle, got 80,000 views on YouTube.

Now...

..THAT'S views.

Let us, er, take a look.

Yeah, oh, as a FYI, you can't really have pets here.

Erm, I think that's... Oh, I've got four cats.

Is that OK?

I mean, I don't... I don't really care.

Why is this door handle covered in blood?

Oh, the tap's really sharp.

I cut my hands washing them, and then opened the door.

The tap's so sharp you cut your hand?

No.

It's always weird when there isn't a baby,

but there is a baby's bedroom, d'you know what I mean?

Like, ooh, like a horror film.

Come and have a look, come and have a look.

Babe! Get off!

So, Efstathios,

did you be, er, disgraceful?

No.

Thank you for having me,

and, er, I just want to say, yeah, right,

well, I know some people are, er, thinking letting agents

are naughty or whatever, cos we've been naughty or whatever.

But, I just want to say a comment, which is,

what's the point?

D'you know what I mean? What's the point in filming me,

making me look like a idiot,

making me feel stupid,

in front of my dad, ashamed of me.

What's the point?

What's the point? The point is that we have come to say sorry

to our tenants, because, obviously, there's a problem with housing

in London, and... What, do I look like housing? Do I have a chimney?

No. So what's the point?

Al, say "what's the point". Oh, wh-what, what's the point?

I-I'm sorry, I'm not too, er,

not too confident in front of cam, erm...

I'd just like to say I'm so sorry for everything,

and I will look at myself in the mirror,

and not like what I see, and I promise that I'll...

Sophie, hm? This is your husband?

Oh, no, we're... No husb-, er, my, just, my best friend.

We're best friends. I look at your acting films on Instagram.

You want to do your next film here on Speak Greek Speak, huh?

What, like a blox-office smash?!

She is a wonderful actor. Oh!

You are much better person than your brother.

HEY!

HUH!

What's the point of this, man?! This is maniac!

I call you for you to, to clean the shame off of me and my daughter,

but you're pouring it on my head like a beef custard, man!

I'm not sorry and I'm not disgraceful!

Bog off, man! Stop clapping while I'm shouting!

Can someone please tell me why I said yes to that?

What? Arnie's making me go confession.

What, she didn't like it?

Aw, I thought we come across as really good.

And cool and, yeah, wicked.

Have you read the comments? What comments? Is there comments?

Oh, God. "These guys are stupid idiots.

"Seriously stupid, man."

Who the hell said that?!

TinkyB663.

TinkyB?! Yep.

All right, well, say something back in her, innit.

Say to her, in the comments... Yrah.

.."Don't you ever..." "Don't you ever..."

"..EVER..." OK. "..EVER say that to me." "..to me."

And then, yeah, tell her everything I've been through in my life.

Yeah, I'm not sure it would allow for that.

Why? Oh, who do you think it is? Do you know a TinkyB, Dean?

It's obviously just tenants, man. They don't like us.

We only lie to them. Who's ever told the truth to their tenant?

Er, me? You think I haven't heard Carole talk about,

"It's a door, but it can be a chair if you lean on it"?

Yeah, cos it can be. How?

Anyway, Gary Give-A-Guff what tenants think - they're all rank.

I've just found an article.

I think other agencies are doing content to prove that they're nice.

What?! Do they? Oh, I think Smethwick's done one of them.

So, yeah...

Oh, my God. Is that Andrew Lee Strachnan?

Hi, I'm Anthony Stappan.

Hi, I'm Anthony Stappan, and, as a letting agent,

I stand with tenants and I'm raising awareness

by starting a herb garden in my car,

representing grow... CAR HORN HONKS

Representing growth.

It's a good strategy. Yeah.

Here at Smethwick's, we work pretty damn hard.

But sometimes, while we're working our butts off doing our hard job,

we forget to work on ourselves.

So we went away for a two-day workshop.

And, whilst chatting and playing games...

Oosh! Ya bastard! THEY CHUCKLE

..we realised we owe our tenants, huge time.

And, as a big fat treat, we thought...

..a tenner to a tenant! What?!

A tenner to a tenant.

We value our clients so much,

we just can't bear the thought of them feeling short-changed.

We're challenging all the agencies in the Haringey area -

Chigby Estate, Vape Estate, Michael and...Bugle Lettings -

to take part.

Post your vid of you treating your tens to a ten today!

HE LAUGHS

# Tenner to a tenant Tenner to a tenant

# Tenner to a tenant One per household! #

Very nice. It's cunning. It's cunning.

It is cunning. It's cunning.

# It's coming home, it's coming... #

OK. Carole, why are you there?

Wait, was there a Carole in that?

Yeah, no. I mean, I was just passing by

and they wanted an extra sort female presence, you know?

What do you think I look like, sort of in amongst with them?

Oh, my God, Chigby Estate have been cancelled. What?!

What does that possibly mean? I-I don't know.

They're very sensitive guys. They can't hack that.

I think we should just do tenner for a tenant.

But it's Smethwick's, man. We don't have to do

trick-a-trick-a-trainer cos they told us to.

We can do whatever charity we want for the tenants.

I'll do a rap for them. We could all rap with them.

Like a 24-hour rap for charity, innit.

I think maybe we just give tenners. I don't have a camera on my phone...

Well, I've got a camera. Film me first, I'll film you,

then I'll film everyone doing the rap. OK, I'll go first. OK, OK.

# Hey, you gotta know that I'm sorry to the tenants tonight

# But if you knew my life, you know I'm a parent, all right? #

OK. Dean, jump in, jump in. No, no, no. I'm not fucking jumping in.

This ends now. Carole, where do we keep the tenners?

And action, Sophie.

One more time tonight,

if you say, "Come to me," one more time tonight,