The Split

Dr Hale is on her way up.

Good. Good. Has... Has Zander left?

Well done on the rail case.

Make sure you celebrate tonight.

- We certainly will. - Have a good evening. - And you.

Thanks, Maya.

- Have a good night. - And you.

- I just avoided Zander. - I'm sorry.

I thought he'd already gone.

- Did he see you? - No.

- Shall we? - Yes.

I appreciate you seeing me so late in the day.

- I'm liking the dress. - Ha!

Are you going somewhere?

Er, Thai food with parents from Liv's old class.

Felix always used to drag me to those.

And Nathan?

We're meeting for a drink, before.

He -- he wants to chat.

- A date? - Ha.

Sounds hopeful.

What?

Heart rate's a little raised.

It's only a drink.

- And that's a surgeon talking. - I'll take your word for it.

But have it on record --

I think it's a mistake...

Thanks.

.. you and Nathan breaking up.

I cheated on him, Leni.

Perhaps there are some things you just can't forgive.

And if he could?

I'm not talking about this any more.

My brother tells me Liv's...

Ah, South America, gap year. Back late tomorrow, in fact.

- She's going to... - Study law.

Zander said.

Oh. Note to self -- do not tell Zander anything.

How are you?

How's Felix?

Doing something rather complicated

with cryptocurrencies.

Work's been crazy.

I'm juggling surgical with my cardio research.

Ah. Sorry.

I have a patient in dire need of a heart.

So...

.. how can I help you, Leni?

Same as you do with everyone.

I want a divorce.

Why, Leni?

But it's Felix.

Leni, there must...

There must be something.

I need to know I can trust you.

Always.

'How do you know when a marriage is over?

When is the moment to call it quits?

If marriage is the conquest and divorce the inquest,

can there ever be the good divorce?

I am Ruth Defoe

and I'm a family lawyer at Noble Hale Defoe,

one of London's leading family law firms,

and this is NHD's LoveCast,

the podcast that each week talks to real couples

about real marriage

and real divorce,

and asks, "How did we get here?"

and, "Where do we go now?"

Coming to you live from London,

the divorce capital of the world.

Well, you're not actually live.

Yes, thank you, James.

- Do you have to do that? - I've got to lay the table.

Well, yes, but I'm just finishing my thing.

- Er, just let me... - That's very kind of you.

Are you touching up your roots?

What?! No. What?!

I'll deny that in court.

I have asked my father

to snip out a little bit of the grey.

Did you FaceTime the kids?

Yeah -- child three was making dubious TikToks

about some lyrics I really hope she doesn't understand.

Child two is still giving me the cold shoulder,

but he did let me help him with his homework last week,

so it's fine.

Although variables in algebra, that's...

Now, that's challenging, even for me.

Until I reminded him

that algebra is a lot like relationships.

Do you ever look at your X and wonder Y?

Why is that funny, again?

Tomorrow -- Liv.

Yeah, five o'clock, Stansted --

I'll be there. I'll pick her up, drive her home,

act casual, say nothing, cos little does she know...

Yay!

.. the entire Defoe clan will be waiting for her...

.. to welcome the traveller returned.

Was that your attempt at Attenborough?

It's Hardy -- Tom. Not Thomas.

Have you signed it yet?

Um...

Not yet.

Appreciate the movement on Christmas, though.

Oh, well, there's a lot to be said

for taking up the slack on Boxing Day.

They'll have been fed, presents given.

What's not to like?

Family home to be retained by Mrs Stern.

Mr Stern to reside elsewhere till...

.. last child heads to college.

And/or prison -- delete as applicable.

So...

.. technically, we're really doing this.

Technically...

.. almost there.

Lot to be said for...

.. a good divorce -- yay for us.

Yay.

Um... full transparency on relationship status

for the first... two years.

There's only so many swipes to the right a girl can ignore.

We should talk about that.

Yes, we should.

I was hoping that's why you wanted to chat.

Hannah...

Right...

There you two are.

I said to Mike, I wondered if we'd see you in here first.

Do you mind if we join you?

Good to get a couple of glasses in before dinner.

- Yeah. - Can I get you something? - Uh-uh.

Fucking hell.

Jesus...

Well, hello, everybody,

and welcome to this week's fellowship meeting.

It's great to see so many of you here.

This week, we'll be looking at our health and wellbeing

and the challenges that face us

over the next seven days and how to...

- She was wearing... - Cheesy!

No, don't be a spoilsport. I need this.

- Now, keep on talking. - Dungarees.

Why the hell did we decide to walk?

Because that's what you do when you go camping

in the Lake District. Tell him, Ronnie.

Oh, we had some memorable trips.

It was rather wonderful,

not least because Oscar always used to get drunk

on the first night.

Soon to be recreated again.

So can we go back to my story, please?

- Yes. - So we were walking

and we climb over this stile,

and then suddenly... she's gone,

halfway down a ravine.

Come on. You're so dramatic. It was a ditch.

Trousers ripped straight through to her...

Bare arse -- out.

Yeah, and that's when I knew.

Like I said, it's so cheesy.

No, but you see, this is so interesting.

One of the big questions I ask my clients is,

when do they know a marriage is done?

And they often speak of it in similar terms.

The moment of germination

has unique parallels with termination.

To not killing them.

- Yet. - Yeah. Yet. Yes. Yeah.

Saving a fortune and charging them rent.

And getting rid of all that shit they accumulate.

- Running machine. - Oh, my God.

The self-tanning booth.

- The loom. - The loom! The loom!

You two are so great.

Seriously, how have you done it?

- We haven't done it yet. - I guess...

We looked at one another and realised we'd spent

most of our life together.

A good life.

And to let that all go to waste...

So a few months of wrangling and heartache

was worth it to be able to still look at one another

and like one another before...

.. finally signing on the dotted line.

- Aw. - Anyway, here's to us.

- Cheers. - Yeah, cheers.

So you... you signed?

Um, return of post.

- Oh, Kate! - Should be on Zander's desk

- in the morning. - At last!

Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Crazy amount of work spilled over into the end of my day.

That's all right. I wasn't sure

you were going to make it. Anyway -- Mike.

- Hi. - And this is Gemma.

- Gemma, hi. - Oh, hi.

- Lovely to meet you. - Lovely to meet you.