The Kardashians

Previously on, The Kardashians...

- I'm gonna have a hysterectomy. -

I put on a brave face.

I don't want my kids to worry or think I'm scared,

but sometimes I get scared.

So, your thing happens when I'm in Australia.

Do you think I should definitely be going?

Actually, the paparazzi's brutal.

I cannot believe I am 30 days in with a peaceful household.

- Wow. What's different? - I started to see a therapist.

I finally was like, "I've had it. I'm not dealing with the attitude."

So, maybe Khloé was a little right.

I'm happy for you.

When Gypsy posted that she wanted to get into reform work,

I really wanted to meet her.

When I asked them if I could get therapy,

I received a notice that I didn't qualify.

Why wouldn't they set up all of these programs?

It blows my mind.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Aw, you look cute in your red 'jams. - Well, you know.

I am visiting my mom today. She's recovering from her procedure.

Hi, Corey.

Just to make sure she's good and in high spirits.

I had a nurse come over and tell me that I could either have

my pain pill or a martini.

I know which one you picked; that martini is wild.

I know.

- Hello-hello. - Hey!

- How are you feeling? - I'm good.

I'm done with my surgery and I feel great, I feel good.

I'm a bit swollen. I'm a bit sore, but good.

I just got a call this afternoon that said that the little tumor was benign.

So, it's--

- Yeah, so-- - You didn't even tell me.

- Yeah. - Nice to hear.

- Glad they came. -

So, I'm just gonna take the next couple days and try and really chill.

So, how much longer are you gonna have to recover?

- Are you-- - How-- What did they say?

I can work out in two weeks?

Two weeks. You can't hook up for, like, two weeks.

- Hook up? - Corey remembered that.

- Like relations? - Mm-hmm.

I love how you remember that.

- I guess we know what you like. -

But it's just-- All of it is such a mind- .

- Like, Khloé used to live in there. - Ew.

- It was her apartment. - That is crazy.

I just wonder, the first person that was like,

"God, my stomach's getting big," and then a baby came outta their vagina.

Like, they weren't concerned that that would--

Like, why didn't they kill that person thinkin' that's an alien?

- What? - You never know.

But if they killed the woman and the baby,

there would not be people to procreate.

So, no one was that worried. It doesn't add up here.

Why were we just like, "Wow, her vagina can spread

10 centimeters and a human comes out!"

- Like, no one thought that was a witch... - Wow.

...and killed her?!

Come on, guys. Think about it.

Okay.

I think maybe my meds have started to kick in

because I don't know what the these people are talking about.

Help me.

Am I the only one that has these high thoughts? I'm not even high.

And let's just say Eve was the first one to get pregnant.

You think Adam was okay with that?

- Oh, my God. - They were cavemen.

You think Adam was like, "Oh yeah, this is normal.

"My main bitch is just, like, having a little human

come out of her crotch."

Like, we all think Adam wouldn't have sliced her neck open?

Of course, he would've.

That would've been the best Dateline episode too.

- Wow. - What?

I feel like I'm hallucinating.

And then, why aren't dinosaurs in the Bible?

I love you guys.

- I love you. - You must have some place to go.

Oh, you want us to leave? Understood.

I'm gonna go to my psychiatrist.

- I need to go back to bed. - Don't worry.

I have other things to do as well.

- Kim and I are gonna go to a prison. - What for?

Kim's gonna go and I just like to support her and--

Is it, like, for reform?

- For reform, yeah-- - Wow.

That's gonna be crazy. There's gonna be a lotta dudes

- screamin' shit. - Oh, wow.

- Good luck. - Thank you.

- Mazel. - Tov.

- Mazel. -

What happened to your fingers?

My big sliding door to my bathroom that opens up

and you see the whole window in my bathroom?

I was shutting it and there's no latch,

and you have to pull the inside of the mechanics out.

So, I pulled them out like this and, usually, I stop it with my hand,

but I pulled it really h-hard and then Saint ran in with chips

and I'm like, "It's 8:30 at night, no chips!"

And then it went boom. And I was like--

I fell-- I literally looked at my hand and I fell to the ground.

And I just, like, grabbed the table and got on my knees

'cause I just saw all this blood

and it was, like, my bone sticking out a little bit.

And I just was like, "Get me help."

I was just like, "I need ice."

Like, I didn't scream, I didn't anything.

I just was like, "Help."

Two?

Two of 'em. Yeah, they're both broken.

Like, I just literally couldn't do anything but freeze.

And you can't even describe the pain, but your, like, whole body goes in shock.

It was, like, more painful than childbirth.

The, like, tip broke off.

So, it's, like, a floating piece on both.

- I know. I w-- I wanted to die. - Oh, my God.

And then he's like, "And it's a possibility

your nail will never grow back."

And I was like, "Oh, come on. Come on."

- I'm gonna invent a nail implant. -

Is hyperbaric helping?

I think so. I did four hours yesterday.

But how-- Who has time?

- It's like-- - Oh y-- Oh yeah.

- Can we go to 2.4? - Yeah.

That's the higher pressure

'cause that is pretty significant.

- Oh, it looks great. - You think that looks great?

I do because a lot of that is just

a little bit of dry blood and... some oozing.

Is it gonna hurt?

- No. Not at all. - Are you sure?

- That's a good part about peroxide. - I just wanna make sure that

I will not need this amputated.

- You will not. 100%. - Okay. Whew.

You know what came to mind?

That's so great.

Listen, I think you dodged a bullet.

- Um-- - It could've been really bad.

Could've been really bad.

I'm not gonna be slowed down.

I would give you the middle finger, but I don't have one.

- Hello. - Who owns pants like that?

I love coming home to my sisters

- just lounging on my couches. - Just-- I'm just here for a breather.

- Tickle, tickle, tickle. - Oh. Oh my, go away.

What are you, Edward Scissorhands?

My hand is not okay.

- No, it's not okay. - No. I literally cannot believe

I slammed it in a sliding door.

It's been a couple days since I broke my fingers

and the pain is still, like-- It's horrible.

It's just hor-- There's no other way to describe it,

but it's all good.

I have shit to do, so this isn't gonna slow me down.

So, I met with a therapist again.

- About your fingers or in general? - No, no, no. Just a general therapist.

- Okay. - And she was like,

"You think calm is your superpower.

"I think you are so desensitized from trauma

that you literally are frozen in fight or flight."

- I believe that. - So, then she was like,

"One time in life something happened, and you remained calm,

"and that worked for you.

So, you will always choose calm."

Don't you think your robbery? You weren't calm before.

- Really? - You don't remember that?

Kim, you were a lunatic. If someone touched your clothes,

"That was-- I was gonna wear that today!"

You were like-- You're fully dressed--

- Hm. I should tell the therapist... - Like, you became calm.

...'cause she's trying to go back to, like, childhood

- and I'm like-- - No, you on-- You were never calm

as a teenager, in your 20s, you were-- cried about everything.

You were bratty, you threw tantrums.

- Everything stopped... - Mm-hmm.

...after you got robbed because you stayed calm in that situation.

And you even said, "My calmness is what kept me alive."

Mm-hmm.

That's when it started. It doesn't take a detective

to figure that one out.

I mean, imagine you're, like,

gun to your head, getting tied up, dragged across... a hotel room,

and the guy, I remember him-him,

like, telling me just like, "Stay calm and you'll live."

And I did that and, like, it served me well at that time

and, and I think it saved my life.

But I think I've let it get too calm

to where people could take advantage of my calmness

or I'm just turning into a full robot with, like, no emotion.

But let me tell you something...

Kourtney was right.

I was just like, "Oh, my God."

'Cause she was like, "Why do you work so much?

- Why do you this?" - Holy crap.

And I looked at her like, "Are you Kourtney?"

I don't know if you really understand what's driving you