Who's Your Daddy? (Jing Wu Men / 精无门)

THE FEWER CHILDREN YOU HAVE, THE BETTER THEY ARE

CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR COUNTRY

SHU NA

SUCH NICE WEATHER TODAY, GREAT FOR MOVIES.

AS A VIEWER, THE MORE YOU WATCH, THE MORE YOU COMPREHEND.

THANK YOU TO THE DIRECTOR AND ALL THE STAFF!

WE HAVE TO ACCEPT IMPERFECTION, AS PERFECTION NO LONGER EXISTS.

Where did you go?

I got lost.

Are you sure this is the place?

I'm very sure it's here.

Why are the lights off?

It's a power cut. Aren't you used to them yet?

Nurse, we are here to sell.

Of course you are here to sell.

- You can't be here to buy, can you? - You don't have to be so loud.

What are you shy about?

All these people are here for the same reason.

Fill out this form.

Wait over there.

That's right. This is not an ordinary love story.

Don't misunderstand. I don't mean the two of us.

My name is Hui. I am a blogger.

My online nickname is "Frog Prince."

This one who looks more like a toad is my uncle, Mark Gao.

How did we end up here?

We will have to start this story 28 months ago.

Stop running! Stop! Give me back my money!

- Pay me back! - Stop running!

Pay me back!

Granny!

Granny!

We're in a pickle!

Pickle's good. Come on, let's eat.

That's not funny.

We really need to be on the run now.

You say that every time, but you've never run a single time.

Even this time, you swam.

Granny! Stop kidding!

Now what have you done?

The number given by that don't-know-what temple struck third prize.

But I forgot to place my bet.

Amazing!

You're even greater than the deity.

How could you even forget the number given by the deity?

What should I do now?

Granny, I'm going to bathe.

Tell me what to do after that.

Help me think about it.

Although I'm called "Frog Prince,"

I don't want to be "a frog in the well."

Of course, I will take this opportunity to go see the world!

But I didn't expect that this would be how I'd eventually meet my destiny.

Hey!

Get in! Or are you waiting for the cops to come?

Like I said, he's my uncle.

And he's a very troublesome uncle.

Uncle! This is cool!

How's the car?

It's really not too bad.

It's clearly written. Here, see for yourself.

If any more new cars come in, remember to call me for a test drive.

- No problem. - Otherwise, I'll be angry.

- No problem. - It's a deal then.

Let's go!

- Mark! - What?

So that supercar is not yours?

Now, I want to get a Ferrari. Can't I?

Sorry! I'm sorry, sir. Sorry. How are you?

Did you think you were Alonso, to be speeding as fast?

Of course not. I'm shooting a film now.

- Shooting a film? - Yeah.

- Where are the actors? - Me. I'm the actor.

- And the cameras? - Cameras are there. There.

There's one there. There's one here. There's one more there.

Technology has become very advanced.

There are wireless cameras everywhere.

Yes, our crew is the best of the best in Asia.

Our boss is Andy Lau from Hong Kong.

- Andy Lau? - That's right!

- Andy Lau, I know him. - Our producer is from China.

Feng Xiaogang!

Do you know Mr. Feng?

- Mr. Feng, I know him too. - You know Mr. Feng but not Feng Xiaogang?

Our director is famous.

He's the Singaporean director, Jack Neo.

- Jack Neo? - Yes, that's him.

- Do you like him? - A lot!

- I know him well. You want his autograph? - Yes.

Okay, I can do that, I'll get it for you.

What is your movie about?

I cannot tell you. It's a secret.

Just reveal a bit.

Okay fine, fine. Since we are best friends now.

This movie is about a race car driver.

A race car driver.

- A race car driver? - That's right!

- I know. - One day, he joined the gangsters.

- Wow, that's very dangerous. - Yeah, but that's how the script goes.

One day, his boss tells him to smuggle illegal substances.

- And after that? - Drugs and other things.

- Unfortunately, he gets caught. - What happens in the end?

Go watch it when the film is released.

- Then you'll know. - Tell me a little.

Okay, okay. Apparently, the cop who stopped him was a good person.

- Like me. I am also a good person. - Yes, but you are more handsome.

- How do you know? - For sure.

Then the kind cop let him go.

Is that okay? Can I go now? Here, smile at the camera.

So I'll go now, okay?

SUMMONS

By now, you'll have understood the reason we ended up having to go sell

is definitely because of this Mark Gao

who thinks he knows everything and is filled with crazy ideas.

With Super Marky, you will all be Super Pretty!

He looks as if he needs a makeover, yet he dares to sell beauty products.

I smell trouble!

Free of charge! Free product demonstration. Who would like to try?

Ladies, how can I help you?

Mark Gao, your "Snowy Cream" has caused my face to bleed!

And your "Whitie Mask" has caused blackheads all over my nose!

We want a refund!

Ouch!

Not a single cent left for me.

Yeah. All we have is this useless piece.

Where there's a will there's a way.

Sell your car and we should be covered for a while.

I only missed one payment and you tow my car?

Egg roll, lotus cake, yam cake, egg tart!

- Hey! - What?

Can you not mention food at a time like this?

- What should we do? - What do you mean what should we do?

Earn money to buy food.

Back to my old trade.

How do you survive on one vacuum cleaner sale per month?

Finally, my chance to show my prowess.

This is not style!

Goodness, is there a job in this world where you're paid for idling?

There is. Rob someone.

Rob someone?

- No way! - Correct.

We could be arrested by the police.

The police don't have time to arrest you.

If that's the case...

- Okay then. Let's go rob someone. - Where should we do it?

Here.

Are you robbing us?

We don't have money.

- Ouch! - Don't try us!

I know Snake Palm.

- Dragon Fist. - Praying Mantis.

And also Tiger Strike!

To pay off our debts and buy food, we had to resort to selling.

Does it hurt?

Here are your chocolates and biscuits.

- Miss. - Yes?

- Is this all? - It's done.

You must be kidding.

Let me give you another pack of biscuits.

Stop kidding.

We get paid, right?

No payment will be made. Thank you for your charity.

Charity?

This is absurd!

We give you charity, but who's going to give us charity?

I donated so much blood,

even squeezing out a few large drops.

- We really don't get paid? - Yeah?

Are you sure we don't get paid?

Are you really sure we don't get paid?

Fine! I'll take back my blood!

Sir, you can't do that!

You!

- Thank you for your charity. - Sir!

Now what else can we do?

See if there's anything else we can sell!

BE HANDSOME, SELL HANDSOME, BE PAID HANDSOMELY.

Nurse, we are here to sell...

Of course you are here to sell!

- You can't be here to buy, can you? - You don't have to be so loud.

Fill out this form.

Wait over there.

Whoa!

What?

- I can't do it! - You can't do it?

No, the DVD player in my room is not working.

Mine isn't working either.

- Your isn't working either? - Not here, over there!

- What now? - Read the magazine!

- I can't turn the page. - Give it to me!

Didn't make it?

The mood just isn't right for us.

Nurse, this needs patience.

What?

We're not perverts who go crazy at the sight of a woman.

Actually, she's my dream girl, my princess.

We have a destiny!

What kind of destiny?

I have to thank Mark Gao for that.

If not for him,