Doom Patrol

- (ELECTRICITY BUZZING) - (ROARS ANGRILY)

So, what's first? Immortus or Butts?

No, no, no, no, no, no!

- (WINGS FLAPPING) - (CLIFF) Hey!

Fleeing isn't one of the options. God damn it!

You're back? How?

Might as well start with the screaming time god.

Ooh, you guys are so annoying.

Whoa, Flit's back.

That wasn't Flit.

That was me.

Uh, what?

We're all here now.

All together as one.

What?

- (WHOOSHING) - (GASPING)

Holy fucking shit!

Lady, you just picked the wrong fight.

- (GRUNTS) - (SCREAMS)

Holy shit!

Keeg, go. (GRUNTS)

Hey, Zuul!

Have a seat!

- Uh, oh, shit! - (CREAKING)

- No, no, no! - (LARRY GASPING)

- (CRASHES) - (CLIFF GRUNTS) Fuck!

If anybody hasn't noticed, we're aging more than ever.

Oh, thanks, bud.

Hey, you got a knockoff Willoughby sword.

This is no knockoff.

Ahhh!

Rita. Rita, please. I need to talk.

It's happening again.

No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do,

I can't escape this fucking fate.

Pardon?

Here I am,

about to be the sole survivor of yet another super team,

and it's all my fault.

Slow down. What's going on?

They're... They're fighting Immortus.

The Butts are about to break into the theater,

and they don't stand a fucking chance.

Wait, so, you just left them?

Yeah, just ran away.

Just like the future said I would.

Because I survive at all costs.

That's what I have always fucking done.

No, I refuse to accept that.

As long as we're alive, we can change.

You're a shape shifter, for crying out loud.

You of all people should know that.

I'm a selfish coward.

That seems to be the one thing I can't shape shift away.

So, why did you come here?

Why did you wake me up?

I don't know.

Just...

Having a bit of a freak out, I suppose.

You came here because you knew I would hold you accountable.

You are part of the Doom Patrol now.

As long as we're a team,

we will never stop fighting for each other.

So, go get my wheelchair.

Okay.

- You're the boss. - Hmm.

Rip her face off, Jane.

- (BUTTS GROWLING) - (IMMORTUS LAUGHING)

You dum-dums should have stayed in the time stream.

Fuck off.

- (DOOR CRASHES) - (BUTTS SNARLING)

What the fuck?

Whoops.

Kill them all!

Oh, my God, are those butts?

Go!

Wait, what is that?

Uh, what the fuck's happening right now?

- (BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING) - (ALL SINGING)

This isn't your show, this is my show!

What the hell?

Wait. Is this song from that musical about us?

Just go with it. Whatever the fuck's happening, it's working.

Keep moving. Keep moving.

Go, go, go!

Is that the end of it?

I don't know what the fuck that was.

Oh, shit!

Whoo!

Reinforcements have arrived!

Oh...

Holy fuck-a-doodle-doo.

I guess we can add vanquished an interdimensional time god

to our list of achievements.

To us, the Doom Patrol!

Mother fucking god slayers! Yeah!

- (CHUCKLES) - (LARRY) Hey, hey!

Well...

I don't mean to be a wet blanket, but, uh...

"But it's basically my entire personality."

- (LAUGHING) - (ALL EXCLAIMING)

- Ooh, nice. - Nice one.

- (SOFTLY) Sorry. - (CLIFF) Rouge with the burn.

Okay, fine, fine.

But as the resident wet blanket of truth,

I feel like it's my job to point out,

wasn't it actually the Butts who saved the day?

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I took a couple of blows to the head,

but the Butts were singing, right?

Yes, they were.

- And what were they singing? - Remind me.

A musical number that wouldn't have existed without us.

Boom. Proverbial mic drop.

Sure, sure.

- Although... - (ALL GROAN)

I'm sorry, but you realize

we could say the same about Immortus, right?

Isabel wouldn't have become an interdimensional time god

if it wasn't for us crashing into her in the first place.

And the Butts wouldn't have gotten out of the Ant Farm

if it wasn't for us either.

- Ergo... - Why did I teach you that word?

We saved the day.

But we didn't even get our longevity back.

- So what's the... - A win is a win, dude.

Let it go.

- Here, here. - (CLIFF) Yeah!

With our glasses raised

- let's give Rita Farr a toast. - (RITA) Mmm.

It's good to have you back.

Ah, it's good to be back. (CHUCKLES)

I hope I didn't worry you all too much.

This...

This feels nice.

Just us here, hmm?

Together.

You know what?

I'm going to go see if I can squeeze into my old uniform,

while we're celebrating.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Rita, shall I give you a hand?

Oh, stop it. (CHUCKLES)

This old girl can still dress herself,

uh, and drink, all of you

- under the table. Hmm? - (ALL CHUCKLING)

But if you would like to be of assistance, dear Laura,

you can crack open some of the good stuff

and pour me a double.

Copy that.

Mmm-hmm.

All right.

Here I go.