Midsomer Murders - Twenty-Third Season

They've launched...

-I repeat they've launched! -(air raid siren blares)

This is not a drill.

Find shelter, hug your loved ones.

This is it, people.

This is everything we've ever feared.

Can you believe they actually did it?

Those morons! They're gonna kill us all!

They've launched!

Wake up!

-They've launched! -What?

-Listen! -(automated voice) Can you believe

they actually did it? Those morons!

They're gonna kill us all.

Come on, come on!

I've forgot my phone. You go ahead, I'll catch up.

-(beeps) -Etta, are you there?

Come in!

You need to get to the bunker!

The whole world has gone to bloody hell.

Stu!

Pick up, goddam you!

As soon as you get this message, grab Etta and get to the shelter.

-(beeps) -(metal door clanks)

-(clanks) -(whirs)

Ooh.

Oh, yeah.

Stu.

Let me know as soon as you get here

and I'll unlock the door for you and Etta.

-(radio statics) -Right.

I always...

I always knew it... it would be like this.

I always knew this would happen.

I was right.

So, damn them all!

Hello, Warren.

Do you feel safe and sound in your bunker?

-(exhales) -I'm so glad.

Because you have two minutes to live.

As you breathe your last breath.

Remember you brought this on yourself.

-(whirs) -(alarm blares)

My god, it's stopped!

-(beeping) -Five, three, two..

No. Five, two...

-(keypad beeps) -(metal door clanks)

-What is it? -It's my mum...

I can't believe it.

I mean, only last week she said she was thinking about having

a new kitchen fitted and now she's gone...

and booked it!

I mean, of course, she'll have to move out while it's being done!

-Just to be clear, your mother... -Is coming to stay.

Winter.

Fleur?

Victim is Dr Warren Kaine.

First indications are he suffocated to death.

Probably less than a few hours ago, I'd say around 6am.

-Who found him? -His wife, Clodagh.

Are you sure that he suffocated?

I just mean that there's no bruising around the nose

or mouth where someone would have...

held him down.

This was hands-free.

-Hmm. -It'll be easier to show you.

The killer reconfigured the venting system

and sucked all of the oxygen out.

The door's bombproof, the shelter's airtight,

I doubt he lasted long.

Sorry, did you say bombproof?

I know a bit about this, sir. It's called doomsday prepping.

I've got an uncle who dabbles which

mainly involves going to his garage and stocking up on beer and crisps.

I'd say our victim was a tad more prepared.

There's enough supplies for months on end.

Food, medicines, toilets, beds.

It's better stocked than a rock star's tour bus.

And I should know, I've been on a few.

How easy would it be to tamper with this?

I'd say you'd need a good level of technical expertise.

Well, thank you, Fleur.

Before you both lumber off...

Prior to his demise, he called two numbers.

Hmm.

We're looking for a Mrs Clodagh Kaine.

You've found her.

You're not the first to give that look,

most people think I'm Warren's daughter.

Please, come in.

I'm very sorry about what happened to your husband,

but I'm afraid we need to ask you a few questions.

Of course, anything to help.

When was the last time you saw your husband alive?

I can't believe I'm going to say this,

but it was just after the missiles were launched.

-Missiles? -There was a nuclear alert.

This voice on Warren's radio was urging him to get to safety.

"Those morons, they're going to kill us all."

Or something like that.

But you didn't follow him?

Warren had done this half a dozen times over the last few years.

If it wasn't an earthquake, it was a comet.

And one time there was even a swarm of killer bees.

But none of them ever materialised.

So, you didn't take this threat seriously?

Have you ever lived with a person on high alert 24 seven?

It's exhausting.

Was it always the same alert procedure?

No. Warren could get his information from anywhere.

He could've opened a fortune cookie and believed it.

This voice you heard, was it male or female?

Erm, neither. It was electronic.

Warren took off like a startled hare.

The bunker was locked, how did you get in?

About an hour ago when he hadn't come home,

I dug out the code for the door.

I could never remember it, so I kept it in a drawer.

When your husband died between two and three hours ago.

The shelter's what, a ten-minute walk from your house?

Like I said, it was becoming exhausting...

So, I went back to bed.

We believe your husband was lured to the bunker.

Do you know of anyone who might send him a hoax warning?

He'd been the village GP for years.

He was loved and well-respected.

I mean, some thought the prepping was a bit much

but not to that extent.

One more thing, I noticed some lockers in the bunker

with various letters on them.

They're for the members of Warren's prepper group.

Etta does odd jobs in the village and Stu bartends

at The Huntsman's Horn.

That's where Warren holds his...

That's where he held his meetings.

Get onto tech, see if they can work out

where the hoax originated from.

Anything else?

Well, given the world was about to end,

I'd like to know why only Warren made it to the bunker.

Etta Derby?

Ah, cute.

You might be worth saving when the world goes to pot.

I'm here about Warren Kaine.

Apparently, he rang you this morning?

Not as far as I know.

Well, his satphone would say otherwise.

He rang you just before he was killed.

Sorry... Warren's dead?

And you were one of the last people he tried to contact.

Why do you always do this to me?

What do you mean the price has gone up?

Don't get cheap on me, Randall.

I'm risking prison bagging game for Medora's fancy menu.

Psst, Randall, the police are here.

-(door opens) -We... we'll all get arrested

-if they see this! -I'll get rid of him just go!

-Hide that animal! -(Randall) All right, okay!

Er...

This is Detective Chief Inspector

-Barnaby. -Hello.

You'll never believe what's happened.

Chief Inspector?

-I'm looking for a Stu Levy. -(thuds)

Hi...

Etta, are you there? Come in!

You need to get to the bunker.

The whole world's gone to bloody hell.

The one time I forget to charge my phone!

I would have thought that it was a prerequisite.

You know, just in case the apocalypse...

Oh, here we go. Another mickey taker.

-(splutters) -The village is full of them.

No, I'm merely suggesting it does seem odd

that you didn't have your phone to hand, you know,

-in case a supervolcano erupts. -I'm surprised you know about them.

Oh, blame my uncle.

Anyway, where were you around six this morning?

Snuggled up in here.

Me and Stu had a bit of a bust-up.

You're a couple then?

Maybe not for much longer.

And you never left the camper?

I didn't have any reason to.

And if you had got his message, how long would it take you

-to get to the bunker? -(sucks teeth)