The Beauty

Okay, um, what's my favorite film?

Ah, that's… Okay, Conformist …

- It was a tie. And-And, uh, Last Tango . - Last Tango wasn't…

- Hey, look at that. - Oh.

Mmm.

- Wow. - Okay, favorite author?

- Dr. Seuss. -

Yes, and…

Uh, Simone de Beauvoir.

Correct.

Best kiss? I mean, that we've had.

- First one. And the last one. -

- Are we going down here? - Yeah.

- Shit. - Come on.

- Careful. - Whoo!

Whoo! You got a coin? Come on, we gotta make a wish.

Who's got coins?

- Oh, I do. - Y-You do?

Gelato.

- No, you go first. - You first.

No, you.

Well, what did you wish for?

- I can't tell you. - Come on.

- Won't come true. - No, Coop, come on. Tell me, tell me.

Okay.

I'm really wishing and praying…

That you do not fall in love with me.

Okay. And… And why would that be?

Well, there's so much you're gonna miss about me when I'm gone.

Like what?

Well, like how I do not snore.

You don't?

And how I pull out the chairs for you at restaurants and open doors.

- Mmm. That's true. - And how I kiss you from head to toe.

Stopping for a while somewhere in the middle.

A very long time.

Mmm. I do like that.

I know.

We're ready for you.

Your interview subject's name is Ashley Sanders.

And she is?

He.

…within blast range.

Hey, Ashley.

- I'm Special Agent Cooper Madsen. -

Hi. Ashley Sanders.

Some outfit they got you in.

Yeah, uh…

So, uh… …you saw this, uh,

Harper Rose walk into the cafeteria?

- Yes. - And how was she?

Pale, um, shaky, uh, not herself.

And I stayed away, you know, I-I-I was, like,

away across the room, you know.

I thought she had fucking COVID or some shit.

- I didn't wanna catch it, so, um… - Yeah.

- Did you know the people sitting with her? - Um, yes.

I mean, kind of, not really, um…

Britney, the one that… …she, uh…

- Threw out the window? - Yeah.

Um, she was, uh, she was cool.

She-She gave me some lip balms once.

You know, at Vogue, they get all these, like,

amazing, cool products,

but most of the girls who work there are, like, total snobs.

They're, like, third-generation wealth who pulled some strings

to get some entry-level dream job,

and now they all look down at guys like me, like, you know.

Why?

Because I work at GQ, and I'm, like, the assistant fitness editor.

It's below them or something.

- I knew the gay guy too. - How?

Um, not to be homophobic or anything, but he was sort of notorious for, like,

hanging around the men's bathrooms

and checking the fitness dudes' cocks out at the urinals

and stuff like that, so…

Yeah, he was always, like, "cruise-y."

And, um, I don't know, I never had a problem showing off,

so I'd give him a little show, and I don't know…

It made me feel superior and, like, pick me up on down days, I guess.

Sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you this.

No, it's all right. It's all right.

Um, so you knew Harper?

- Yeah. - In what way?

She was, like, sort of… …so beautiful,

like, unattainable, you know, kind of a snobby bitch, honestly, like…

Yeah, she was new in town.

She-She-She didn't really know anybody,

and, um, it started with me, like, taking her to clubs, concerts, everything.

Yeah, I think I actually really…

I actually really loved her.

Um, yeah, I loved her.

And…

- Hey, it's gonna be all right, okay? -

- It's okay. You're gonna be all right. - Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm-I'm…

Thank you for being kind, man. I'm, like…

They've kinda been treating us like animals, you know.

Fuck, man.

Is this, like… …the end of the world?

Not if I can help it.

Why the fuck did she explode?

Is she, like, a suicide bomber or a fucking terrorist?

Well, that's what we're trying to figure out.

You know, they took my blood, um, without asking me.

Uh, they didn't tell me, like… …what it was for or why.

Um, do you know when we're gonna get those results?

I do not.

Anyway.

Yeah, so it was, like, personal for me.

Um, I loved her, uh, even if she didn't love me back, you know.

We fucked a few times, she ghosted me. It was, like, one of those…

You had sex with her?

Dude… Oral, anal, everything.

Did you use protection?

I mean, honestly, like, I'm not trying to, like, kiss-and-tell, like…

But, like, she was a fucking freak in the sack, like a lion.

Like, I couldn't keep up, like, rough shit too.

Like, I would pull her hair…

Dude, also, the sheer amount. Like, unquenchable.

What's happening?

- Whoa, what's happening? - Hey.

- What did I do? I'm sorry! - Hey, hey!

- Hey, help me! Please, help me! - Easy! Easy!

Freeze! Stop moving. We will shoot.

- -

We have a possible infected. Repeat, possible infected down here.

One second. I just need to call my boyfriend, please.

- - Please, just one second.

I'll do anything. I swear I won't leave.

But please just give me one second. Can I…

Look…

What are you do…

Ow! Fuck! That hurts! Please…

Can someone please tell me what's going on? Okay? Please.

Please. There's a person in here, okay? God. Fuck.

Ow, fuck.

Relax, Manny.

I just don't understand why I have to be strapped in here, okay?

Please, just talk to me like a person!

Please, just…

Stay still, sir. This is the last one.

What is that for? Fuck.

Hi, Manny.

Fuck. Who are you?

- My name is Cooper. - Are you gonna help me, please?

Can you get me out of here? I'm trying to get outta here.

I just want to see my mom, okay? Fuck.

Fuck, can somebody help me, please?

Manny, relax, relax. My name is Cooper.

I'm here to ask you some questions, okay?

What? Like a fucking FBI agent or something?

Yeah.

That… Are you kidding? I was joking. Are you serious? That was a guess.

Oh, my God. Fuck. Is this a joke?

Okay, okay, something's going on with me, okay?

I'm really hot. I'm so fucking hot.

Okay, are you hot?

Look, I-I-I know you're hot.

Clearly, you're hot, that's not what I mean. You're hot and you're masked,

you're hot, but like, are you burning up? Fuck.

Manny. Manny, I just need you to focus, okay?

You have such a kind face. Okay.

Please, are you gonna help me get out of here? Please!

I'll see what I can do, okay?

Your friend Harper...

Yeah, the one who blew up in my fucking face?

Can you think of anyone else she was spending time with?

Who the fuck knows? She's a hot, stuck-up gash.

It's that glow in her eyes right before she went fucking nuts.

That's what's burned into my mind.

Okay, what the fuck was that? Like, what's going on?

Is she an alien? Is she a robot?

All right. Just try to relax.

I'll relax when somebody tells me when I can get the fuck out of here!

We can talk about that when we get these fever spikes under control.

- - You should stand back.

What do you mean? Why stand back?

Why do you have to stand back? What's wrong with me?

Sir, please don't do that.

Please! Oh, please, just talk to me like a person, okay?

This is so fucking inhumane.

Please, you guys are fucking assholes!

Please. They said that I was positive, but I've been on PrEP for years, okay?

That's gotta help, right? Won't that help?

We're waiting on the CDC labs for guidance.

The CDC. Fuck, that doesn't sound good. Oh, my God.

This is something unfamiliar.

That's why contact tracing is so important right now.

Okay. Can you at least…

Please, can you get someone to bring me my dogs?

Okay? They have really bad anxiety,

and my boyfriend always forgets their meds.

Pooh Bear has Crohn's disease. He's gonna shit all over my rugs.

Sir, if you don't relax, we're gonna be forcing medic...

- Guys! Guys. - Please.

Manny, Manny, I'm gonna see what I can do about your dogs, okay?

What kind of dogs do you have?