Saving Buddy Charles

Wait! Sing Happy Birthday first.

Wait, wait for Nana. Wait for Nana.

Wait!

- Yay! - Yay!

Good morning, universe.

This is Sydney reporting in from your mom's house.

This is my best friend, Clara.

Sydney broke up with Liam!

I broke up with Liam this morning.

Fuck relationships, you only need your best friend.

How does...

- Oh, sweet, you're... - Oh, sweet, you're...

Aw, look at buddy Charles.

Yay!

Yes!

Oh wait, that's cute, that's cute, that's cute.

#Literally killing it.

You look great.

Yay!

Senior year is done, bitches!

Sam, let's go. We're running late.

Ew, are you sick?

No.

I'm just trying to catch my breath.

- Okay, well... - Can you get the fuck off me?

I'm trying to open... I'm just trying

to open the window, so you don't get germs everywhere.

Sam, let's go.

Why do we have zero sense of urgency?

- Holy shit! - Holy shit!

That scared the shit out of me.

- Okay, okay, I got another one. - Okay.

Would you rather live inside someone's stomach

for the rest of your life or inside someone's liver?

- Stomach. - Liver.

What?

No, no, no, no, no.

I feel like a stomach would be disgusting.

Okay, what would you do?

Like sit on a chunk of food all day?

It would be like a fucking wave pool in there.

I love wave pools.

Wave pools are lit.

Are you having fun?

I'm having the best time, are you?

Uh, yeah, no, I mean, I'm having a really good time

personally, but like,

I didn't wanna have a really good time and like,

shove it down your throat

if you weren't having a really good time.

That feels kinda rude, so...

I'm having a fun time, I promise.

Okay, good.

Would you rather live in Antarctica

or the depths of hell?

Antarctica!

No, I was gonna say the depths of hell.

I literally don't wanna hear it from you.

I love Antarctica.

I wanna go so bad.

Have a great time with that.

You seriously wouldn't go with me

even if I really wanted you to?

Yeah, no, probably not.

You're such a dick.

It's your turn, go.

Um, okay.

Would you rather

have toe-length fingers...

Or finger-length toes?

Why are you laughing?

I don't know, that's such a weird thing to...

Your bladder is winning zero awards today.

Like absolutely none.

Shut up.

Oh, you like us. - Kinda.

Oh please, you're gonna miss us when we're gone.

When do you go to college?

In like a month, I think.

How do you not know the date?

Like, I feel like my moving countdown is like,

ingrained in my brain at this point.

And I still don't have a roommate.

Dude, just pick someone and go random.

It doesn't matter.

I mean, I had a call with a girl last week

and she seemed like fine, I guess.

But then like, after we got on, she just started sneezing.

What's the problem with that?

The problem with that is that she didn't stop sneezing.

Okay.

What if she had a disease

or like a chronic illness, Sydney?

Oh my God, Clara, you are so dramatic.

She didn't have a disease,

she didn't have a chronic illness.

You really don't know that.

She was just... just sneezing. She didn't even vampire.

And it was gross.

She's not gonna be the only one

who hasn't found someone else. Just keep looking.

Everyone seems weird.

I hate to break it to you, but we're really weird.

No, we aren't.

Yes, you are.

She knows what's up.

I'm so sorry, but I didn't see you.

Hey!

Drive carefully unless you want a furry foot up your ass!

Hey, I'm sorry I hit the dude.

It's fine. Everyone hates him.

A few years back, he got in trouble

for rubbing his tail a little too much.

Oh.

What?

Anyway, thank you for driving me.

Of course. All right, I'm... I'm gonna miss you, bestie.

Boo, I thought I was bestie.

Are you still gonna be home when I come back?

Yeah. No, I'm s... I'm still gonna be home.

I'm not leaving yet.

Okay.

All righty. I'll see you soon.

You're gonna have so much fun, okay?

Thanks.

Love you, Sam! - Bye.

Bye, Syd.

I am starving.

Yeah, I know.

Oh my God.

I would give my left nut for some chips right now.

You don't have a left nut.

You don't know that.

Uh, why didn't you pack more snacks?

I did. I think Sam ate them all.

Sam!

Hi. I'm calling from camp.

Yes?

We still haven't received a final payment of $200

for Sam, which covers her food cost, you know.

We're gonna have to send her home if no one's...

Fuck. - Sorry.

We're coming back now. Sorry.

My mom gave me that money.

I was supposed to give it to her when she got out of the car.

And where is it now, Sydney?

I don't know.

I think it's probably at home if it's not like,

in here or something.

Oh my God. You're such a dumb-ass.

I hate when she puts this shit on me, okay?

Like, I love Sam but this is not my problem.

Oh. This is not enough money.

I realize that. Um, I just...

Funny story is I... - Will this work for the rest?

Oh. Yes. Okay.

I'll run this, and I'll be right back with you.

Clara, you can't do that. You can't do that.

I already did.

Do you have enough money on that thing?

- I can pay you back. - Yeah. It's cool, dude.

It's just a...

It's a very good teachable moment

that you need to get yourself a credit card.

I don't need a credit card.

Sydney, you need a credit card

if you ever want to buy a house.

You have to build a credit score.

I know. I know.

I know. But why?

Do I look like I'm trying to buy a house right now?

Is that what I look like to you?

Okay.

Oh. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Drive safe now.

Bye!

Hey. Can I drive?

No.

Why don't I ever get to drive?

I didn't say you couldn't drive. When did I say that?

Can I drive then?

No.

Then I'm not getting in this car.

You think I'm a bad driver.

That's why you don't want me to drive.

No, I just think that you'll stop the car

every time you see a sign for something stupid.

Did you ever think that the reason I'm stopping

the car every time I see something stupid

is so we can have a more fun road trip?

No. I actually haven't thought about that,

and I'm gonna like, continue not thinking about that.

Great. Cool.

I guess we'll have a boring road trip

and we won't do anything fun ever again!

How are you so chill about college?

Like, have you thought about what you wanna major in?

It's like the rest of our lives.

No, I guess I'm not that stressed out about it.

How are you not stressed about it?