Zombie Rage

Good afternoon.

Nelson big hammer with ckx news reporting live from downtown winnipeg

where a recent rash and increase in violent crime

doesn't seem to be much of a deterrent to locals.

The mayor has been criticized for some of his ideas,

which people think are pretty lackluster.

So we decided to meet with people

on the street to see what they think needs to be done to improve the situation.

Hi, uh, just the city is just going to a dump.

Do you feel like winnipeg has a bad problem with crime?

I don't think winnipeg has a crime problem, but some people might.

Okay, fair enough. So you feel safe down here?

Yeah. I've always had a good time downtown.

I've never encountered anybody sketchy at all.

Okay. Thanks very much for your time. Really nice to meet you.

Awesome.

Nelson, big hammer, ckx news.

I just want to say quickly, I absolutely love the hair.

That's fantastic.

I'm envious of anybody's hair.

I used to have hair like that, but it's is downtown

winnipeg, and two weeks ago, mine got stolen.

So this is what I'm left with.

Yes, have you heard recently the mayor has been putting forth

a lot of ideas on how to make the area safer.

No, but f Him.

That's a fair statement.

A lot of people have been saying that.

Do you have any ideas on what we can do to make it safer downtown?

I hope nothing right now is pretty much perfect for me.

I mean, you can sell drugs wherever You want.

We have endless supply of customers.

I mean, just look anywhere you want and just go around the corner.

You give anyone a little winnipeg handshake.

Okay. Well, thank you very much for your time.

And if you have a minute, I'd like to talk to you

about a certain sales transaction in a minute.

Thank you very much.

You gotta a smoke?

Actually, I don't anymore. Somebody picked my pockets.

But do you have a minute for a quick interview?

I do. Sure. Why not?

So have you heard recently the mayor has put forth a few ideas

on how to revitalize the downtown area, make it a safer place.

I'm just wondering what you think could be done to fix up downtown winnipeg.

I think it'd be great if we had a homeless purge

by purge...

Do you mean like the movie purge?

Exactly like the purge. You have all the homeless people.

They have to register, and if they don't have an address

and they can register to one night they get put out,

and they all have to just beat each other in the streets.

And the last one standing, get a free house.

That's a unique idea.

You know, we could televise that, sell tickets,

maybe make some money to help fix up the downtown area.

Could use that money to clean the streets after.

Brilliant plan. Thank you very much for your time, sir.

I find that it's not safe because there's not enough drugs around

like they would calm

everyone down if they could find their supply.

But they say that there's a

crisis out there, but there's a crisis if you can't find your supply.

You think there's not enough drugs here.

That's why people are just going crazy because they can't calm themselves.

Just give me a give me a call.

All right. Thank you. All right. Thanks.

Do you have any ideas on how we can make winnipeg safer?

I think that we should maybe put some money into some public programing.

Getting some kids off the streets would be nice.

You know, they just revitalizing things.

Fantastic idea.

And any other suggestion.

Well, I think that maybe we could also just burn it all down.

We could just grab some matches and some gasoline,

and we could just light everything on fire.

Oh, Nelson, big hammer, ckx...

Okay. Thanks for your time.

Nelson, big hammer, ckx news.

Just wondering, sir, what brings you downtown winnipeg today?

Well, I thought to bring my son

to see winnipeg and see how great winnipeg really is.

Yeah.

Do you do you feel are you concerned at all

with the recent increase in crime in the downtown area?

Yeah. Winnipeg's getting really, really dangerous.

And I don't like drugs.

I'm trying ot for him to see the drugs, but, you know, it's...

Kind of tough.

And what about you?

Do you like coming downtown winnipeg?

Don't tell him this, but I'm kind of looking for some drugs.

Okay.

Thanks very much for coming out.

Oh, Nelson big hammer, ckx news.

Do you have time for a quick interview?

I guess you got a light.

Actually, the most stolen thing in the world,

and it's the only thing that wasn't swiped from me today.

Thanks for helping me out. Okay.

Have you heard of the mayor's plans to revitalize downtown winnipeg

and how he thinks he can make it a safer place?

Yeah, and it's bull.

Do you have any ideas on what we can do to improve winnipeg?

Yeah. Fight club.

You know, the first rule of fight club.

We Don't talk about it.

We can be like a secret society.

We, the people, can make the money.

- The government. - Any rule, no rules.

You can twist, grab them by the Nuts and just maybe pull.

Who the fuck cares? Fuck.

All right, in the bushes. Arghh...

Sir, there's zombies everywhere.

What do you think of that? Zombies. Zombies?

What I think about it?

I'll tell you what I think about this is Justin trudeau

and his friggin vaccines that he gave everybody.

Look what happened.

Look what happened.

And it's wrath of god.

The wrath of god because of these lgbtq nine, seven,

six, five, whatever the hell they are...

Holy. You just saved us from the zombie zombies.

Zombies?

Hang on. Hold this.

What?

Don't get your panties in a knot.

I told you I'd be there if I'm not there in 20 minutes.

Your next kilos free.

Just another typical day in winnipeg.

I'll see you in a bit.

Thanks.

Well, looks like winnipeg's about as safe as it's ever been.

I'm headed back to the studio.

Are you guys zombies or meth heads?

Yah!!!

Oh, yeah dude. This broads going down. Fuck!

Huh.

He's gonna cut her titties off. Yeah, probably.

She's a goner, dude.

Look, doo do do. Yep, there it is.

Yep, yold you. He took her titties off.

Oh, here's our hero.

There he is.

Machete ready.

Ohhh...

Oh, nice.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

Now, this guy...

What the fuck was that?

Yeah, go look.

(This park is just filled with season two...

Go check.

Let's go. Fucking. Oh, wow. Okay. Sure. Oh,

Poor chick.

Oh, still got her tits.

Now fucking what?

Really?

Come on. Yeah. Come on.

What'd you do?

Just start showing boobs.

Oh, you're killing me.

Check the power.

Dude. The whole system's off. Oh, dude, we gotta, fuck...

I don't know. I wonder if it's all fucking everywhere.

Yeah, let's check it out.

Oh, boy.

You getta look see?

Traffic lights are out dude.

Yeah, they are out.

Oh, great. Wow.

Okay, shall we check it out. Yeah, let's go check.

All right, let's go check it out.

You first dude.

Yeah, bro.

Looks like the traffic lights are out, man?

Yeah, they are. Maybe a truck hit a pole.

The power might be out completely.

Fucking creepy man.

I don't know. Somethings going down.

Nothing we could do about it.

Wait it out. Fresh my rip. I'll join you.

Fuck, I wonder when the power's going to be dark on, dude.

Fuck dude. My phone's tripping. - Really? Yeah.

Dude, really...

Told you, man.

How's yours? Workin?

I have no service.

Fucking told you. Creepy dude.

Creepy shit, man.

Oh, no.

Oh, hey, hey.

Whoa.

You fucking hear that?

Yeah,

dude, let's go see man.

Really? Told you.

Oh, fuck. What's all the screaming about man?

Right, what are you doing dude?