Entourage

STRANGE DAYS

So let me get this straight:

you wake up snuggling a girl that you didn't even get to fuck?

I'm not repeating myself again.

- It's disgusting. - What is disgusting about that, Drama?

What's disgusting is the only reason

a guy should be forced to snuggle a girl

is if he's allowed to fuck her first.

Or at least if she promises she'll fuck him later.

- Who snuggles in a threesome anyway? - Question.

- Who uses the word snuggle? - E and E.

Men spoon, E. Women snuggle.

I'm glad you're in on this too, Vince.

What? Come on, it was funny.

Besides, I just got fired. I need a good laugh.

Well, you can laugh in the car. I promised Sloan

I'd look at her setup for tonight. I want you guys to come.

We're going to her charity event tonight,

why do we have to go again this morning?

Because Tori'll be there and it'll be freakin' awkward.

If you guys are there I can say we're going to lunch,

otherwise I might get stuck.

Okay, fine, E. If you need us to go, we'll go.

Okay? Right, guys?

- Yeah, of course. - All right, we'll go.

We'll go. But what you really need, E,

is a good snuggle. Get over here!

Just checking in, Eric, wanted to see how our boy is holding up.

He wants to know how you're doing.

Well, besides the fact that the "L.A. Times"

compared me to Terrell Owens, I'm doing great.

You hear that, Ari?

Yeah, the Eagles got rid of T.O. and look where they landed.

"Aquaman 2" is gonna make "Speed 2"

look like "Citizen fucking Kane."

All right, you tell Vince we will bounce back.

You can tell him yourself at Sloan's event tonight, right, Ari?

Ah, come on, Ari. It's for a good cause.

Help her out. It would mean a lot to me.

I get hard thinking about the fact that you actually like me, E.

However, I am sitting down

with your father-in-law for the first time in nine months.

If all goes well, I promise you

that I will try to show up if you promise me not to wear any panties.

- Bye, Ari. - Bye, Eric.

- Ari! - I hoped you sharpened your fangs, Bar,

because it is go time.

Hold that!

Terrance.

Ari, you look a little haggard. Everything all right?

It's called aging, Terrance. Not everyone can stay young

by sucking the blood of their employees.

Gentlemen, let's keep this civil. I suggest--

Ari, you and I are both born negotiators.

So let's keep the legal eagles out of this, shall we?

- Absolutely. - Good.

Now, in the interest of putting this

whole sordid mess behind us,

I think you'll find this offer very generous.

We've been here before. You know what? Save a tree,

say it out loud.

I'm prepared to offer you

$4 million.

Four?

Okay, first let me counter by saying "fuck you."

You see, while you were off

on your eight-year "sabbatical"--

sailing, duck hunting,

whatever the fuck it is you do--

I took that agency from the midlevel shithole it was

to the powerhouse it currently is

- and I can prove it. - And I thought I had an ego.

You want to go to court? Let's.

I got nothing but time.

Or have you forgot I got a very rich wife who loves to spoil me.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Wait.

10 million.

- 12 million. - Fine.

- 11 it is. - You got yourself a deal.

Thank fucking God!

Y eah!

Way to earn your commission in there, Bar.

So what's your opening line gonna be?

- Fuck off. - Vinc I don't think they'll like that.

Just make sure you say hello to Sloan first, everything will be fine.

- Thanks for that tip, Drama. - Look, if you don't want us here...

Just get in here.

- Hey. - Hi, baby, how are you?

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hi, guys. - What's up?

Hey.

- The place looks amazing. - Yup.

Thank you.

Yeah, you guys really work well together.

So, Sloan,

it's great what you're doing here and if there's anything

I can do to help tonight, I'm down with the cause.

Really? Anything?

- Anything. - That is great,

because we're supposed to auction off a dinner date with Zach Braff,

but he literally just bailed.

Anything else?

- No, that's it. - Whatever you need.

Thank you so much.

Oh, the flower guys. Hold on one second.

Hello.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah...

I'm gonna go back to the hotel and work on my tan, so I'll see you guys later.

- Goodbye. - Bye.

- Peace. - Goodbye, Eric.

Later.

Ooh yeah.

Jesus, and you thought you wanted to get in and out fast.

- She was cold, right? - Cold?

She ran from you like a chicken with a bad cough.

- What does that mean? - It's an avian flu reference.

Oh, good one.

This is not good.

E, I don't know what you're obsessing about.

She thinks I'm a freak.

You hit her with the unsolicited snuggle, you are a freak.

You know what, take me home. I'm gonna drive over to her hotel and apologize.

What? Apologize? For snuggling her?

For invading her space. I don't know.

You're a sensitive guy, E.

- It's kinda queer. - Whatever.

You know what, Drama? He is sensitive.

Maybe we should all go with him.

Thanks, Turtle, but I don't need support on this one.

Wasn't going for support. Was going to see Tori's ass in a bathing suit.

Ah, the girls from Wisteria Lane.

Which one of you is hiding a large black man in your basement?

Funny, Ari. What are you doing here?

I came here to tell you, honey, that our marriage is a sham

and the last 15 years have meant nothing.

- What are you talking about? - I came here to tell you

that I want it to actually mean something this time.

Oh my God!

- Ari! - Let me put it on you, baby.

- Oh my God. - Look at that.

Whip 'em out, ladies. Let's see who's got the biggest.

- I take it the meeting went well. - It went well, baby.

Let me show you how well it went. I'm stealing the bride-to-be, everyone.

- Where are we going? - It's a secret.

Lunch is on me provided that Joyce, you still have your stomach stapled.

Fuck you, Ari. Just for that I'm ordering a bottle of Cristal.

The new Gold standard. It's gonna make the endeavor building

look like a fucking Dunkin' Donuts.

Oh my God, it is huge.

It'll house 150 agents.

All of whom, if they're sexually harassed,

have only one person to sue-- me.

Ari, can we afford this?

Baby, listen, we've been planning this for nine months.

With this money all the pieces are in place.

I know you're scared. But it's time.

Just say yes.

Yes.

Let's go take a lap in the executive jacuzzi.

You've got a jacuzzi in here?

- Not yet, but they'll put one in. - No, they won't.

- We could talk about it. - We just did.

- I don't know. Maybe I can bribe you. - Here?

Ari, are you out of your mind?

Oh!

- Eric. Yo, what's up, E? - Hey, Seth. What's going on?

- How are you? - I'm good, I'm good.

How's Vince, man? I can't believe they fired him. That is brutal.

It's for the best really. Frees us to do other projects we're more interested in.

Good.

Sorry about your show getting canceled.

Oh yeah, what are you gonna do, man?

Nobody believed that four guys in their 30s were gonna live together.

Yeah, well I lived at the guest house until last year.

You get moved up to the maid's quarters now? I'm kidding.

How's Sloan?

She's good. You know Sloan?

Yeah, I know Sloan. She's a great girl, man.

- Yeah. - You guys doing all right?

- Yeah, good. I'll tell her you said hi. - You should.

- Eric? - Hey, Tori.

Oh, excuse me.

- It's not what it looks like, Seth. - It never is, man.

- Hey. - Hi.

Can we get a drink?

Um, yeah, sure.

All right, look, I just wanted to come by and apologize.

- For what? - For the other day.

- You know, the way we woke up. - You mean the way I woke up.

Yeah. It was completely unintentional.

Well, obviously, I mean, you were sleeping.

Exactly. I was as surprised as you were.

But I just prefer if we didn't tell Sloan.

I mean, she might think it was weird. I mean, it was a little weird, right?

Well, I mean, actually waking up

with you spooning me was kind of funny

but I think Sloan would think it was a lot weirder that you're here right now.

Well, the only reason I came here was to apologize.

I hope so.