Zombie Repellent

So the plan was to sneak off and get married in Vegas,

but the whole thing was ruined by zombies.

Yeah, fricking zombies.

Thank you.

Can you come in with me next time?

Why?

Because the dude in line behind me is hitting him on me.

Why do I always get hit on at gas stations?

Honey, you're irresistible.

There he is.

- What? - Who the hell is Jasmine?

- Jasmine? - Can't wait to see you again.

When are you going to invite me over to your place?

Don't, you don't need to read me that.

Don't.

I can't wait to spend the whole weekend with you.

Hey, hey, it's just a girl from work.

It's... Nobody from work sends me nudes.

Mm.

Good.

Dude needs a better phone password, I guess.

How much longer are we gonna do this?

Okay, I get it, back roads are the heart of America,

but how much corn do we need to see?

Liz, this is the road less traveled.

All right, we're gonna make it to Vegas on time,

but if we just took the main highway,

how memorable would that be?

After eight years of therapy this should be nothing,

but it's our wedding.

I love you.

Don't.

I l-love you.

Oh, come on, gravel?

This is gonna shave an hour off the trip.

Huh?

I got it.

We're getting married tomorrow.

Yeah, we are.

And we're cutting it pretty close.

You know this is gonna make a great story one day.

Huh.

That's not good.

Where you going?

Liz, it's a minor delay.

Baby, you need to relax.

Hey.

Baby, it's my job to make you happy, right?

So anyway, from this moment on,

for the rest of our lives,

whether it's this route or that route,

it's your call, okay?

Tell you what, just to show you that I can change,

you get to decide where we eat for the whole trip.

Yeah?

You good?

Alright.

Hey Chad?

Yeah?

Where's the car?

Huh.

Babe.

I don't wanna talk about it.

You just gotta look on the bright side, all right?

What is the bright side

of my wedding dress being stolen?

I'm sure it was just a big misunderstanding.

These things always have a way

of working themselves out.

I don't wanna talk about it.

- You guys need a ride? - Um, no, we're good.

Our car was stolen.

Around here?

Not likely.

Where'd you leave it?

Uh, over by the gravel road down that way.

And it just vanished?

Well if it was just sitting around here

Buck probably came out and hitched it up.

Hop in and I'll take you to it.

That's okay.

If you can just point us in the right direction

we can walk.

What are you doing?

You can walk.

- Liz. - You can hop in the back,

and keep Suzy company.

Well, I mean why, why can't I

ride up front with you guys?

To give my elbows room.

In the back.

Hey, there's no handle.

Hop over.

Help yourself.

Oh, no thanks, I'm trying to quit.

I know the struggle.

I've been trying to quit pretty ladies. (Laughs)

What are you two doing way you out here?

My fiance wanted to take the scenic route.

Well, plenty of that around here.

Where are you heading?

Vegas, uh, we're eloping.

What?

Pretty gal like you?

You deserve a proper wedding.

Like a fancy one with 400 pound pig

roasting over an open pit and moonshine,

and a band with banjo and mandolin.

Gotta have the banjo.

Don't let him get by with anything less.

You don't wanna go marrying a guy

who won't put you number one.

Well, actually the Vegas thing was kind of my idea.

Well ain't you an easygoing sorta gal?

Suzy?

Tommy.

Tommy will take care of you,

she's the best mechanic in the area.

What's up, Clem?

Breaking hearts as usual?

You know it.

Found these two up off of 51.

That's my car.

Don't cream your jeans sweetheart, it's an Nissan.

We'll see you Missy.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Uh, Liz.

All of our stuff is gone.

- What about my phone? - Everything.

Relax, Princess, the sheriff has it.

Why?

So nothing goes missing,

and it gives him a chance to go through all your stuff,

make sure you're not up to no good.

He can't do that.

I'll let you be the one to tell him that.

And you, you degenerate,

your battery's dead as a doornail, boss.

Oh, that it?

Nope.

Do you have a phone I can use?

Inside.

Devil Hill Switchboard,

how may I direct your call?

Um, I'm at the garage,

and Tommy said I could use the phone.

No problem,

who would you like to be connected with?

New York, the number is

Sorry honey, this switchboard can only

connect you with people in our town.

Okay.

How do I call outside the town?

You can't.

Thank you for calling.

So now I'm not allowed within 100 feet of an Aquarium.

Oh.

The phone only works for people in this town.

I could have told you that.

Where's the sheriff's office?

Go to the end of my building, turn left, look up,

you'll see it.

Good, I'll use my own phone.

Not in this town.

Why not?

The council has a no tech policy.

No cell phones, computers.

That's a bit extreme.

It's the way we like it.

Can you fix the car?

Easy.

Good.

Should be ready by tomorrow afternoon.

We can't stay here.

That's true, no motels.

Huh.

You could try Mrs. Powell's,

up on first and Devil's Hill.

She takes in strays once in a while.

Strays.

Liz.

She gets a little upset sometimes.

Be ready in the morning?

Late afternoon.

Okay.

Thanks.

Babe, where are you going?

I'm going to get my phone, my dress and go home.

Don't you think you're overreacting?

Just, just like a little bit.

I'm not overreacting.