Swindler Seduction

So... he just called again,

and said he's outside watching me.

Um, I...

I have the blinds closed, so he's totally bluffing.

I don't even buy he's in Green Bay.

Louisa...

I told you to stop calling me.

I see you...

Hey...

Aren't you gonna invite me in?

How about you go out and I babysit?

Stop calling me!

I'm coming for you.

I wasn't even looking for love,

and I'd given up on love finding me.

Let me dominate you, let me show you how.

You could get the cream, make a cat meow.

Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow down!

Get down on your knees, come and show me how.

You get it, get it, get it.

It's a privilege you get to taste some of this magic.

I'm made of honey-bunny, babe, I'm made of flowers.

So keep it, keep it comin'

if you're hungry for the power!

Most guys I met were interested in a fling,

nothing real.

They're so cute!

I decided true love

and all that princess stuff was for other people.

You guys are sickeningly cute.

- Hi! - Hi!

How are you?

- Hey. - Hey!

- Aww, he looks sad. - Aww.

But this weekend is about us having fun.

I know, along with two days of super boring

training seminars.

Don't remind me.

Bye! Have a great time.

- Bye. - Take care of her.

Yeah, I will!

Okay, let's fast-forward to the happy hour.

- Yes. - Let's do it.

I'm ready.

Whoaaa! Road trip!

Oh my God!

I love staying in hotels.

The mini bars, the crisp sheets on the bed.

Yes!

That little chocolate on your pillow?

- Right? - Yeah!

Tiny bottles of everything.

Oh my God, there's a pool and a spa in the basement.

- Yeah! - We can get massages!

Yeah, but we don't want to hang out with co-workers.

- Oh my God, true. - Yeah.

Nathan from Accounts in a Speedo?

- Oh my God. - Prescription goggles.

Oh my God!

So bad!

Um...

So, do you think we should take these out with us tonight?

"Hi, I'm Louisa and I'm single!"

Ugh, let's get this over with.

You never could take any of the blame.

I always had to pick up the mess you made.

If I had...

The mojitos are... cheap?

But I need something strong after the day we had.

- It's been so boring. - Oh, yeah.

Uh, hmm, I dunno, we could just split another Sea Breeze,

save the per diems?

I guess.

Ah, bottle of champagne?

Thanks.

That guy's hot.

That guy just stole our place.

Sorry, you guys, uh...

You didn't know what you wanted.

Drinks are on me!

So, Steve Johnson took me by surprise.

If that's even who he was.

So our company has a training budget

and we're required to check the box

in order to qualify for an upgrade.

It's really boring, but we get to spend a little time

in the city, which is always awesome.

Well, that's awesome for me.

Um, I really hate celebrating alone.

Stop!

What?

So, what did you say you do?

Okay, it's... it's a little ridiculous,

but they call me an angel investor.

Oh!

Angel investor? Wow, that sounds impressive.

I just don't really know what that means.

- You'll have to further explain. - Yeah.

Basically, I invest my own capital

through my company, Gold Halo Investments,

into start-ups.

Suddenly I feel like an underachiever.

Um, what are we celebrating?

Oh, uh...

We're celebrating this.

I sold a company.

Apparently, it's worth $10 million to someone.

Sorry, what? $10 million?

Yeah, so dinner's on me.

- Ha, you bet! - Oh my God.

Well, I'm not gonna see all of it,

at least for this company, anyway.

Most of it filters kind of down through my charity,

Inspire Kids, so that way my conscience is clear.

That's so cool!

Oh my God!

Girl, he's, like, so into you.

You're gonna go for this, right? You should go for this.

- Yeah! - He's super cute.

He's a hot-shot investor.

Too bad he's based in LA.

Oh my God, so what?

He says he comes back like once a month.

And he's loaded.

All of which means he's probably got, like,

150 hot girlfriends already.

Okay, so I guess you don't need any of this then?

Yes, I do!

Thank you.

Guys, I'm gonna go call Alex.

I'll be right back, okay?

Brooke and Alex have been together since forever.

- Hmm, yeah? - Yeah.

What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?

- Are you spoken for? - Spoken for?

What are you, Edwardian?

What?

That's so awkward. Sorry.

- Did I really say that? - Oh my God!

I'm so sorry, that's so awkward.

No, no, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. That was rude.

No, it's fine, it's fine.

Oh, I'm sorry!

Okay... Um, I'm single.

And obviously it's been a while since I've flirted.

That's you and me both.

Oh, so you don't... You don't have a girlfriend?

No, I mean,

I meet women all the time who wanna hook up,

but I'm the kind of guy who likes to talk a little,

- get to know someone. - Yeah?

Yeah, very Edwardian of me, I know.

Or romantic.

- Oh? - Yeah.

Then here's to romance.

I need to get a cab.

I'm pooped.

Okay. Well, where are you staying?

Maybe we can give you a ride to your hotel.

Oh, I keep a crash pad on the Gold Coast

for when I'm in town for work.

Actually, you both are welcome to come back if you want.

- Really? - Yeah.

No. You go ahead.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Okay. I'll get the check.

Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

Have you seen my jacket?

No.

- Hold on. - Okay.

Oh, yeah, I'll be right back.

Holy shit.

What?

Okay! Yeah, we should pay our share.

- No. - Yeah.

Oh my God, no!

I can't.

Hey, I think we have a bit of a problem.

My wallet's gone.

Like, the tip is more than I'd spend on my birthday.

Okay.

It's okay. I'm just gonna...

- Are you sure? - Yeah, no.

- Like, I can't. - I got you.

Thanks.

I cancelled my card and my phone.

Thanks.

- Oh, thank you. - Yeah.

Obviously I'm gonna pay you back.

This was supposed to be my treat.

But I have an extra card in the penthouse.

Oh, I thought you said it was a crash pad.

Ah...

My keys.

Woo! The night is still young!

Let's do something!

- Okay, goodnight. - Oh, goodnight.

- Okay, bye! - Bye!