Black Men Rock

Good morning my neighbours!

Good morning Port Harcourt!

Good morning my neighbours!

- Good mo... - Desmond!

Desmond what is wrong with you?

- Are you awake? - No I'm still asleep.

What kind of nonsense is this? Why are you disturbing the whole neighbourhood?

I'm just happy and am greeting my neighbours because I'm happy.

What kind of nonsense is that? Desmond when you you wake up in the morning

the first thing you should do is go down on your kneels, thank God for making it possible

for you to see another day. Not by standing at the window and shouting down this house.

All right true. I have to pray it's true. Besides today is first day of my one month leave.

- It's true. - That is why you should go on your knees and thank him.

It's okay. Come down let's pray.

- Let's pray. - You and who?

Let's pray.

- In the name of the father, son and holy spi... - Desmond!

- You are interrupting me. God... What? - Desmond!

Desmond! When you want to pray the first thing you should do is start with praise and worship.

Which church is that?

If I tell you I love you God, my money is your own.

- Boss. Please don't do this please. - What's wrong with you? I am just washing the plates.

- Boss please, let me do it, it's my job. - Cool down, I will do this don't worry

just go and do what you are doing.

- No boss, madam will not be happy. - I said go and sweep!

- Please sir. Please sir, let me do it... - Let me just do this!

Boss please. Madam will not be happy if she sees you doing this. Please.

- Go and sweep! - Desmond what are you doing?

- Dishes. - Is it your duty to wash the plates?

- Desmond. I'm asking you. - Yes you know I have been doing it.

- I just want to help her out. - What kind of stupid help is that?

Don't you realize you are the man of this house?

- But there's nothing wrong in doing the dishes. - There's everything wrong with doing the dishes.

- That is why we got a maid. - Madam that is what I told him but he wouldn't...

Will you shut up!

- Oh, my husband is now your mate! - Am I your mate? Tell her.

- No. - Is he your mate? Keep quiet...

Infact you get out of this place. If you had done your job he would not.

I don't know why I am paying you. Sweep you can not sweep, clean you cannot clean.

My husband will be busy washing the plates on your behalf and cleaning the house

yet I'm paying you, why am I paying you!

Why am I paying you! Spending and wasting my money! My friend get out of that place!

Where's this girl from?

Come to tell me, am... am I your mate?

- Desmond. Why do you like embrassing me? - How am I embrassing you?

I'm washing and cleaning the dishes. How is that embrassment?

It's... Every bit of your action is an embrassment!

Why would you be washing the plates when we have somebody who is supposed to this.

And can we pay her? Let me explain something to you.

I don't think I am a problem the problem is you.

Ever since we got this maid, morning, afternoon, night, you are angry.

At night you are angry, dawn you are angry.

Before we got the maid, trouble, when we got the maid trouble.

- You are the problem. - Desmond.

- Desmond! - That's my name.

- You are my problem. - Add my surname.

What stupid surname do you have? How much can your surname bring?

Can you walk into any place with your surname? Do you know what name are doing out there?

Hi my name is Mr. Mesan. It works.

- Desmond. - Yes.

My friend's husband just bought her a car, I saw it on instagram. That is what real men do.

Chioma has gone abroad relocated by her husband. My own husband is still here washing plates!

Should I be jubilating!

- Chioma is in America. - Yes!

- It's a lie. - And you are here, what do you mean by it's a lie?

My friend go and drop that spoon!

Sorry ma. I don't like it when I see you angry, baby just cool down okay.

As long as remain poor and as long as you don't have sense! I will continue to be unhappy.

Do you want me to relocate you? We can go to Ghana.

- Baby let's... - You want me to go to Ghana by road.

- Can you afford to pay for a flight? - Of course, how would you get to Ghana if not by road.

The problem with you is that you don't know where to draw the line in your numerous lies!

You get so confused that you don't even know when you tell the same lie over and over again.

- I don't like it. - I am not lying I was there but I didn't see it...

Just stop it! Stop it! I don't like it when people try to play on my intelligence please.

You should have called me that you couldn't make it rather than...

Making me go out there looking like a cheap prostitute waiting for a client.

Okay, fine.

I lied.

Sly you are just a bastard.

- Is it another woman? - No. It's business.

Look baby I'm sorry okay. It won't happen again.

You know our wedding anniversary is in two weeks, let me make it up to you.

I was thinking we should go for a vacation with your sisters, how about that?

Vacation? With my sisters.

- Yea. - Seriously?

- Of course. - You're not going to take back your words?

- Never. - Yes! I will love it!

You know I have always wanted to spend time with my sisters you know share special moments.

It's more like reuniting with them. It's been a while.

- Yea I know. The last time was a year ago on our wedding day. - Yes.

- But I pray they don't decline. - Why don't you call them first.

I'm thinking of making it like a family thing with their husbands and all.

- Oh my God, it's going to be perfect. - Make the calls I will think of a resort

and make the reservation, okay.

- Thank you honey. - You are welcome. Anything for my sweetheart.

- So go make the calls. - Yes.

Honey, honestly if you know all the atrocities that girl confessed to me that she committed.

- You will not call her your friend again. - Are you serious?

Do you know she was a thief? A real armed robber. As in she was in a gang.

- Yes. - Deliah.

Yes Deliah. She confessed everything to me with confidence.

Do you know she has had series of abortions from all these illicit affairs she has with her various sugar daddies.

How do you think she was able to pay her way through university?

But she wasn't all lucky. Do you know one of her abortions went wrong and that damaged her womb.

That's the reason for her childlessness and her huband does not even know a thing.

- Oh my God, poor Isaac. - Yes poor Isaac.

Now she's running from one church to another seeking miracles.

Not even letting the guy know that she does not have a womb anymore.

She thinks God is stupid enough to give her another womb

after she has destroyed the first one he gave her with her recklessness.

My God poor Deliah so this is what my friend has been going through.

- You need to know. - But why will she confess this to you?

- You are neither a pastor nor a priest. Why you? - Perhaps she needed someone to confide in, you know.

I think maybe frustrations but baby this is a secret you can't tell anybody just keep it to yourself.

You trust me. It's Louisa.

- Hi Louisa. - Hey sis. I'm good.

- How's Abuja? - We are fine. Abuja is fine.

- We give God the glory. How is Sly? - My husband is fine.

- How is Melvin, how is junior? - They are all fine.

- Okay sis. we are planning a vacation for us. - Really? A vacation?

My God this is so splendid. Oh your wedding anniversary.

The whole idea of this vacation is just for us to come together you know with our husbands

- you know some form of reunion you know. - Oh my God! This is so exciting.

- Yes, yes of course my husband is in town. - Well I'm going to call Becky once I am done talking to you.

Oh my God... So where are you planning this vacation? Lagos?

You're bringing it to me? Oh this is so exciting I can't wait.

Don't forget to call sister Becky. Make sure she brings that clown husband of hers.

Yes, yes, yes. Of course we're in.

- Yes. Okay. I will see you around. - Okay. All right. My regards to Melvin.

- Bye. - Okay bye bye.

- So what hap... - Baby it's a vacation!

- When, are we going? - I don't know. She's going to call me and let me know.

-But we are all in -Yes.

- Oh baby. - God knows I need a vacation.

Oh me too. This is going to be so wonderful.

Desmond, Desmond, how many... Is this right place to be shave?

- Ha ha. - What is ha ha? Is it right?

Why are you sitting at the dinning and shaving?

- I'm sorry, I forgot and all... - Excuse me?

I started in the bathroom and I ended up here, I don't know how.

You don't know how? How do you think that my guests would

have felt if they walked in here and saw my husband shaving?

- You have guests? Which guests? Which guests? - Desmond.

Sorry.

Louisa.

- Ha Louisa. - Is that your sister?

I'm fine. How are you? It's been a while you know.

How is your husband? Oh you know you married well.

My darling everything is okay. He's on leave, a month leave so he's just been up and down the house all up in my face.

Oh really? I know your anniversary is next week.

That sounds like fun you know.

Yea. Three of us. A gateaway, okay.

I will inform my husband about it and I will get back to you.

Bye.

- But I said I wanted to talk to her. - For what, why?

They're having a getaway for their anniversary and she thinks that all of us Louisa, Nadia and myself

we should come with our husbands. I think it's going to be fun, a lot of fun.

What's all that smile about? We are not going.

Well if you say so.

Wait, wait.

- Why are we not going? - Isn't it obvious?

- You want me to go there and embrass myself? - What do you mean embrass yourself?

What do you mean embrass myself? How did I.. how can I even make that trip?

All my sisters are doing better than me. They are married to good men, rich men and I will go there and embrass myself.

Oh you want Nadia to remind me of how badly married right? That is it!

Rebecca money is not everything.

Desmond that is every poor man's lie to himself.

Money is everything.

Desmond.

- Desmond. - What is it?

Hello.

Yes, but I will be a bit late because our flight is slated for 4 pm it means we will be arriving quite late.

No no it's okay I don't know what's wrong with all these airlines you know how they are?

So... Nadia doesn't have a problem, she doesn't have any problem. Her house is just a stone throw from the place.

I am going to see you guys soon... What's the name of the resort again?

Okay. Blue waters, I get it. Blue waters resort. I will see you soon.

Babe let me call you back.

He will sit down and eat all the food in the house. I don't even know the type of man that I married.

He would not bring any form of money for support and then he ends up eating all the food in the house.

Sometimes it's just better to remain to single than to be married to some kind of men.

What kind of some miserable life is this?

Goat. It's better to be single.

What is this? Where do you think we are going?

- What... you don't like what I am wearing? - Of course! I don't like it.

- Pink, white, what if, what colour... what is this? - I am going to wear it.

What do you want to do?

Oh my God.

Desmond.

What... I'm the man of this house.

Can you, can you say it now in a more serious way?

- I am the man of this house. - Good.

Thank you ma.

- You see this? - Yes.

This is so wonderful baby.

- Baby this is home away from home. - Oh you can say that again.

- This is so nice. - Yes.

- I'm just glad you love the place. - I do.

Yes, we are going to have so much fun.

I am sure about that.