Irugapatru (இறுகப்பற்று)

Marriage, relationship...

we perceive them as emotional feelings.

But no one tries to understand the science behind it.

We pursue multiple degrees to work in an office for eight hours.

No college provides lessons on maintaining a lifelong relationship.

Have relationships lost their value?

I think it's easier to become the Prime Minister

than maintain successful relationships with everyone.

Welcome to the couples' workshop!

My name is Mitra Manohar.

Psychologist and Marriage Counselor.

People seek counseling only when they hit a snag in a relationship.

That's wrong!

In my opinion, it's necessary to attend a counseling session

either before or right after the wedding.

Will seeking counseling in prior eliminate problems?

That's not true.

Instead of making a big deal out of the problems,

if a couple learns how to tackle them

they can have a successful marriage.

Many couples don't know how to tackle the problems.

She says she wants to talk to me. But I can't speak to her

because she doesn't allow me to.

He disagrees with me no matter what I say.

So I'd rather not talk.

She keeps buying things online.

I didn't use your money.

He always suspects me.

Whenever I pick up my phone, he asks what I am doing.

Madam, why use the phone in the toilet?

She always takes her phone to the bathroom.

She kept harping for privacy. So we moved into a new house.

And now, her mother permanently stays with us.

I get angry when she plays games while I'm talking to her.

He isn't romantic at all.

He keeps nitpicking, so I play games instead.

She goes a day prior to her family events.

But for my family events, she takes two hours to get ready.

We are always the last ones to arrive.

A husband and wife don't need a reason to pick a fight.

Being husband and wife is reason enough!

Problems may differ.

We have two common issues to address.

The first is, communication.

"You, it's you..."

"It's because of you, could've, should've..."

If we learn to avoid these blame words during the conversation

we can overcome communication issues.

The second one is connection.

What is your daily average screen time on your phone?

You spend approximately

three and a half hours on your phones every day.

How long do you spend looking into the eyes of your partner?

If we sum it up

we don't spend five minutes to make eye contact and talk.

While we're dating

or during the honeymoon period, we make eye contact and talk.

After that, we ignore it entirely, look away and talk.

How would you connect?

In this fast-moving world

you may ask, "Who has time for all this?"

You have a point.

But at least for one minute, you could do eye gazing daily.

Before leaving for work in the morning. Or before you go to bed.

At your convenience. Actually, you can do it now.

Let's try it!

Fine, let's set aside my preaching.

You may ask me, "Are you happy in your relationship?"

Of course!

I may be helping out many people

but I learn one thing from each person I meet every day.

I will learn the cause of the problems

and ensure they do not happen in my life.

The complaints that every husband makes about his wife

gives me an idea of what I shouldn't do.

So, my husband and I have no problems in our marriage.

Sir, you say that your wife has never fought with you?

No!

What if you back out of her plan at the last minute?

She won't complain.

Has she never checked your text messages and fought with you?

- She never touches my phone. - Really?

What if you go out with friends? How's it possible?

A wife is a wife only when she troubles her husband.

Okay, madam is a psychologist, so it's understood.

Have you ever yelled at her out of frustration?

When we were newly-weds...

Mitra, how long will you get ready? We're late.

We'll reach after the event is over!

Mitra, what are you doing? We're getting late.

Look in the mirror and say the same words that you said to me.

- We're getting late. - Do this first. Please!

Mitra, how long will you get ready? We're late.

- Let's go. - Repeat it.

Mitra, how long will you get ready?

We're getting late.

Repeat it.

Mitra, how long will you get ready? We're getting late.

How does it feel?

Hereafter, whenever you get angry, look into the mirror and speak.

Come and speak to me after that.

It didn't end there.

In my family, every Wednesday, we practice honesty hour.

Why do you think you got angry the other day?

There's a hormone called epinephrine in our brain...

There are many techniques to avoid getting angry.

Don't worry. I'll teach you.

Read this!

Read it and tell me my love language.

Be calm and try to remember where you left it, Mano.

Don't I know where I left it? It was right here.

Hey! Why would you add that? The pan is not hot yet!

It's a deep well.

You are falling into the well.

Why did you take my phone off charge? It's at five percent.

Why don't you use your charger?

It's been a year. People expect us to get pregnant.

We have to silence them...

After that, we can't even hug in peace.

Mano!

Hey, what's wrong with you?

Did you forget about the party I mentioned?

Do you have any sense of time?

Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve...

How do you feel?

- Hi! - Hi!

- New joiner? - Yes.

- But I used to work out at another gym. - Oh!

Your style reflects that you're a pro.

My husband and children also say the same.

Move aside. I ask you to lose weight, but you don't care.

Wake up early and go for a walk.

- There's enough space outside. - How can I leave the baby unattended?

You can ask the maid to babysit for an hour.

Don't give me lame excuses.

Who would make breakfast and lunch for you?

My dear, I don't need breakfast or lunch.

Just lose some weight. I'll manage it.

I'm already going to the gym.

- Stop nagging... - It's been six months.

You haven't lost any weight. In fact, you've gained more.

You might've had a better shot if you had cleaned the gym daily.

All you do is gossip at the gym.

That's not true. I've been trying my best.

- But it's not working. - Stop ordering junk food from Swiggy.

You eat all day and sleep like a pig. How will you lose the weight?

It's not because I eat more.

- It's my body's nature! - How did you look during our wedding?

You must've been around 52 kilos.

- Now? - 73 kilos.

You weigh 73 kilos. You went to the gym daily

followed a strict diet, found a scapegoat and married him.

Now that we are married and have a baby

you're sure that I won't leave you.

To be frank, you deceived me and married me.

Hey, hold on!

Guess what I've made for breakfast.

- What is it? - Your favorite dish!

My favorite, you say...

Ta-ta-da!

Poha!

I surprised you with your favorite dish.

- But you don't seem excited. - You made Poha last week.

You may think that's why I did not get excited

but it's not that!

You may also think I'm pulling your leg. It's not that either.

I was elated to see Poha and forgot to react.

Hey!

I hope you won't bring this up during the honesty hour next week.

Don't worry. I won't bring up the Poha matter.

But you make it sound like I'm torturing you with questions during honesty hour.

I'll bring that up for sure.

Divya, why don't you eat first?

I need to reply to a client's email.

What's this, Divya?

You didn't turn off the geyser, and left the wet towel on the bed.

Leave it on the bed. I'll put it to dry.

Do that before breakfast.

Divya, could you please come back early from the office today?

What happened?

We need to talk.

I will lose weight soon.

Do as you wish. Why bother telling me?

You never said how I look in this sari.

You always look good in this sari.

This is the first time I'm wearing it.

You bought it for me. Do you even remember?

If you can't remember what you bought, why do you even bother?

You're not the only one.

I've gifted saris to many women.

Oh, so you have such fantasies.

You look good!

Hi!

Madam, what workout shall we do today?

Sudha, my husband spoiled my mood in the morning.

Is there no easy option to lose weight?

On an empty stomach, have honey with hot water in the morning.

You'll lose weight within a month.

Do cardio every day.

Don't do cardio.