9-1-1

Okay. So, just remember, poker face. You have none.

T-That's not true.

You know how you love that I can read your mind? I can't.

I'm just looking at your head. It communicates everything.

Sometimes there's a smile, sometimes there's steam coming off it.

- Like now? - Like now, yes.

But if it weren't for me, we'd be in escrow in half of Los Angeles County.

So, what's our plan?

Money's tight, mortgage rates are high, we have a wedding to pay for.

We're an adorable young couple panhandling our way to home ownership,

not a penny over ask.

- Whatever you do, whatever he says... - We hate this house. Got it.

God, I love you.

Are you two excited to see your dream home?

- Yeah. -

Oh, my gosh, I love it so much!

I mean, it's admittedly a bit of a fixer-upper, but for the price,

a coat of paint and some tile, this place easily sells for double.

- Previous owner have to leave in a hurry? - Only in the sense that he died quickly.

The family just wants to unload the estate.

It has so much character.

We're getting married soon and I wanna have the wedding at home.

Oh, how romantic.

- I survived a plane crash last year. - How heroic.

Well, it didn't actually crash.

It was more of an emergency landing on the 110 freeway.

Oh, wow. You were on that flight? That's terrifying.

And clarifying.

Now I wanna live. Really live, you know? No regrets.

A life I love with the man I love in a place like this.

Like this. Similar to, not exactly this.

And that backyard.

The plane crash card really has a lot of miles on it.

I can imagine.

But a home wedding means less money on the venue

- and more for the down payment. Exactly. - Renovations.

It'll take a little love.

But you two obviously have a lot of love to give.

Trust me, the place has good bones.

- My bad. Yeah. - It's fine. No.

More like osteoporosis.

Babe, would you please try and have a little vision?

Even at ask, this is two dead grandparents and half my 401(k).

Okay, right now, sure, it's just a house.

But you and me, we can make it a home.

Our home. Together.

What do you say?

- All right. Here we go! - Yeah.

We can do this.

It can't be done.

The electrical's basically a key and a kite.

And the plumbing… …I've seen better outhouses.

- Did you guys not get an inspection? - Somebody waived the inspection.

I was unclear on the definition of contingency.

You also have a list of improvements

that would make the Property Brothers wish for separate parents.

In-ceiling audio is a must. We're not Neanderthals.

I'm saying this doesn't get done before the wedding.

We have flowers, and chairs, and reams of tulle on order.

Lady, there aren't enough tools in the world to fix all this.

We sent out the save the dates. The date has been saved.

At present we are more married to the date than each other.

Please, we will do anything.

We will pay anything to not upset her mother.

- Okay, we'll try. -

We failed. I'm sorry.

I converted the Manson family murder house into a three-story Craftsman,

but this place takes the cake.

Please, man. Please. You can't do this to us. Our wedding!

Look, I will give you a full refund, a box of matches, and some advice.

Use them.

All right. We got this.

And… there. Turn it on, babe.

- Yes! -

I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

With the Internet, Home Depot, and these wits,

we got it all under control.

- -

LAFD. Anybody in here?

Back here. Hurry!

Hen, Eddie, let's get in there.

Ma'am, we'll take it from here, okay?

- I don't have a pulse. - Please. We're getting married.

Ma'am, why don't you walk me through what happened over here, okay?

He was fixing the light.

He walked over to the fridge, grabbed the handle...

- And it shocked him? - Is that even possible?

Old house, old wires, anything is possible.

Buck, Ravi, kill the electricity. Harry, unplug the fridge.

- All right, everybody clear? - You're shocking him again?

The first shock made his heart unstable. Second one will bring it back. Trust us.

Clear.

Flynn.

Come on, come on.

Tia.

- - All right, we have a sinus rhythm.

- What does that mean? - That means he's gonna make the wedding.

- Thank you. - What happened?

He'll be in the hospital for a couple of days.

In the meantime, you should sort out the cause of that short.

- Got it right here, Cap. - It's a ground wire.

Found it underneath a tiny pile of medium-rare squirrels.

Your home renovation has an adorable body count.

- Ground wire? What's that? - It's a safety feature.

It limits the distribution of current so the stove doesn't cook you back.

My advice, get a real electrician in here.

It'd be easier to get an exorcist. We've been blackballed from Angie's List.

We won't make that kind of mistake again. I promise.

I graduate in the spring with a bachelor's in communications

and minor in law and social justice.

I'm vice president of the Human Rights Student group

as well as the philanthropy chairperson at my sorority,

all while maintaining a 3.92 GPA.

Impressive.

I see from your résumé here

that you spent 18 months working as a 911 dispatcher?

What kind of blip was that?

Learned a lot… …starting with how to handle pressure.

And that's something unique I can bring to this job.

Tell me about a time when you failed. How'd you handle that?

Mom, the point is to sell her on my accomplishments,

not tell her all the ways that I suck.

- She's not gonna ask me that. - Y-You don't know what she's gonna ask.

Gabby Vaughn is a tough litigator.

I'm not facing her in court. I'm interviewing for a summer internship.

I think it's best that we focus on things that make me look good.

You know what would make you really look good?

- If I called Gabby... - No, we've been over this.

If you call her, I'm gonna look like some kind of nepo baby

with her hand out.

Honey, there is nothing wrong with using every advantage that you have.

It feels like taking advantage. I wanna do this on my own.

You are doing it on your own.

But I can still call my old college friend and tell her

how foolish she would be if she didn't hire

my brilliant, accomplished daughter.

If I get this internship,

I wanna know it was because of me and not you.

And I've noticed that some of you are not keeping up with your protocol reviews.

Now I know that this is not the most exciting ten minutes

of anyone's life,

but it does reinforce our training and helps us stay sharp.

And it's a requirement for our accreditation.

So just, um, do it, please.

Uh, in other news, the rest room in the west hallway

will be out of commission for the rest of the week.

Building maintenance apologizes for the inconvenience,

and wish to remind everyone

that toilet paper should be used responsibly.

We're toilet paper shaming now? What is this, 2020 again?

- - Um, lastly, uh,

the night shift said they had trouble keeping their chickens empty.

I guess someone hasn't had their coffee yet.

Sue, are you okay?

Yeah, the frozen umbrella said…

Sue, can you raise your arm for me?

- Sue! -

The words she was saying? Aphasia?

She's having a stroke. Help me get her on her side. Linda, call for help.

122 Injured and Rescue, please respond to 861 Lightton Avenue, second floor.

- We have a 62-year-old female… - Sue, can you hear me? It's Maddie.

…stroke is suspected.

- A stroke? - Yeah.

- At the call center? - At the start of her shift.

- Did they start her on TPA? - Sounds like it.

Maddie and Josh are visiting her in the hospital.

We just saw her. She and Don came over for dinner Tuesday night.

I didn't notice anything. Did you?

Uh… No, I wouldn't have thought anything was wrong.

Um, hey, uh, I'll be right back.

Thought you said you were gonna go to therapy Tuesday night.

Yeah, I was gonna go.

I forgot Maddie had invited me for dinner, so I… rescheduled.

Hmm. Rescheduled for when?

I'm going to reschedule.

You said you were gonna talk to someone, Buck, a professional.

I know. Look, this is not my first rodeo.

You were locked up in a kid's bedroom, role-playing with a psychopath.

For, like, a day.

- I don't see why it's that big of a deal. - Then why'd you have to lie about it?

Because I'm tired of talking about someone who doesn't deserve my time.

I can't heal if I never move on, right?

I guess.

Okay, great.

So just let me do this my way.

- You're doing so good. - You're doing so good.

- We're killing it, babe. - We really are.

Chugging along.

- How do I do this again? - It's easy.

You just put the thing on the thing.

- Okay. And press the button? - You press the button, yeah.

- Right, one, two… - Yeah.

- -

- -

- -

- - Oh…

I'm so sorry. I thought we were going on "three", not "and three".

It's my fault. The corners are always tricky.