Bytte bytte baby

- Ice cream for the grownups! - No, it's for us!

Then I need a big hug. Come here, you!

Oh, you're just the best!

Hey! Say goodbye to your aunt and uncle.

- No ice cream! Come on. - We want ice cream!

See you, my darling.

See you soon, okay? Bye.

Did you eat a lot of sugar?

I don't know how you do it.

I'm just helping his little body release some tension.

It must be so great to be able to do that.

You must be a wonderful mum.

Don't you have any children yet?

Honey, it's time!

Malte, I'm ready.

That baby is going to have the hottest mum ever!

Oh, honey... Rose petals. How pretty!

- Are they real? - Yes.

Wait, honey... I just want to move my leg over here.

Yes... That's it.

No, wait. Don't forget the angle. We need to adjust by 45 degrees.

There... Whoops!

That's it. Yes. Okay, honey. Let's make that baby.

Yes!

MAYBE BABY

Let's move those up there...

- It's that one over there. - Yes.

- Well, I bought wheat. - I told you to get whole grain...

Hello.

- Hello. - Welcome.

The last stragglers have arrived. My name is Thorbjørn Sørensen.

I'm the head doctor here at the Topsøe & Dichmann Fertility Clinic.

I'll spend an hour explaining the process you'll be going through.

- Please ask questions afterwards. - I've a question.

Do you use follitropin alpha or follitropin beta hormone?

Let's start at the beginning so everyone can keep up.

- Yes, of course. - Yes...?

Are there any statistics on how often your attempts fail?

No, but we have the highest success rate in the country.

Is there anything you can do if you'd rather have a boy?

No. Some people find that idea unethical.

Hi, I'm Liv. Can you replace the hormones with something more natural?

Natural? You realise this is called "artificial insemination," right?

- That was rather good, eh? - Shouldn't we just adopt?

- We should have our own. - Why don't we move on?

I refer you to Appendix 8...

The initial treatment integrates easily into your lives

but you have to take the hormones at exact times.

...as per section 36, clause 2. Can we take a short break?

Thank you.

You can inject the needle into your belly yourself.

Don't worry. It's completely painless.

Ow!

Ow!

Love you.

Most of you won't notice any changes from the hormones.

Egg retrieval can be a bit painful.

So it's a good idea to bring your partner along for support.

The embryo transfer is a quick and mostly pain-free procedure.

Ow, ow, ow...!

Then all you have to do is wait, while science does the work for you.

We use a very efficient treatment method

so most of you will soon see positive results.

For those of you who aren't so lucky

just get back on the horse!

Honey? I think it wants you to do it.

We have to be there in 20 minutes, all right?

It's more romantic when we do it together, right?

Okay.

Okay, honey!

SOLVING INVOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS

- Hello. - Hello. We brought one of these.

- All right. Please have a seat. - Take care of it!

- Hello. - Hello.

- Peppermint cracker? - No, thank you.

- They're great when you're bloated. - I'm not.

- Would you like a cracker? - Yes. Thank you.

- Are they home-made? - Yes.

I'm sorry, Malte. There wasn't quite enough.

- But there was plenty. - It's not always about the quantity.

All yours.

- Liv? Can you come in here? - Sure.

No, you have to do it alone to keep the penis free of saliva and bacteria.

- It can contaminate the sperm sample. - Okay. We don't want that.

How perverted of you to help out without checking the consequences.

- There must be a manual. - It didn't mention that.

Well, you've probably messed this one up too, then.

That's too high!

- Not so high! - Good Lord...

- Hey, darling. - Auntie gets to practice a bit.

No, no... Be careful!

That looks too dangerous.

If your body isn't suited for pregnancy then focus on your job.

You're successful in that area.

For me?

Oh, did you hear... Cousin Karen is pregnant again.

They didn't want any more, but that's what happens when you're not careful.

That's nice for them.

Just relax, honey. Think positive thoughts.

- The egg has divided. That's good. - Yes, but where are they?

I'm sorry for the delay. May I have your identification number?

- Yes, it's 120680... - I need them now! Oops.

- I thought you were done. - I'll be there in a second.

- Could you...? - Yeah, I'll just close it.

- The cake is in the oven. - Are we done already?

Yes, we finished without you. I'm almost like a stepdad!

Come on. Please, come on!

Malte? I'm pregnant.

- What? You're sure? - Yes.

- I'm pregnant! - Yes!

- You have to... One second. - What is it?

Yes! All right!

I got it on a dumpster-dive last week. It's okay, right?

- Sure, one glass is okay. - Here you go.

- Congratulations. - Congratulations.

I guess not. I need to show you this.

This app scans our faces, and then it makes our baby.

Oh...!

Oh, it's so cute. So cute!

It looks just like you. It has your eyebrows and nose.

Yes...

- We have a winner. - Yes! I told you.

- Eight home tests can't be wrong. - Well, let's not jinx it.

- Honey, we're pregnant! - Careful!

Andreas, put me down. Put me down.

Well.

Excuse us. She's worried it won't last. We've been unlucky before.

Now you have me to lead the charge. Keep calm and everything will work out.

- Hey. - Hey.

I have a present for you, Mum.

Darling, finally!

I'm so happy.

Have you known long?

No. We wanted to be sure before we shared the news.

You forget how nervous I've been.

I've been waiting since you were 19. You're taking Zimmermann's herbal shots?

- No. Where do I buy those? - "Buy"? If you want something done...

- Are you feeling nauseous? - Not really...

I felt amazing when I was pregnant. Beautiful! Not that your dad noticed.

Did I mention Mary-Ann's daughter made all her baby clothes herself?

Well, no one with any self-respect would buy that factory-made junk.

- Hey. - Hello. Hey, Ulla.

- Congratulations, Malte. - Oh yeah. Thanks.

I'm glad you finally sent your little soldiers off.

- Take care of our beautiful girl. - I'm pretty sure it'll be a boy.

Grandmas know these things.

Be sure to keep your strength up. It's going to be a long day.

HEALTHY BABY FOOD STRAIGHT TO YOUR DOOR

Just a minute.

- Everything okay? - Yes. I'm just hungover.

On a Tuesday? You're a busy bee, eh?

The goal is to get a 5,5 million euro compensation.

This case is of the utmost importance. We have to win it.

- We will. - Yes, of course.

Be prepared for a hard year.

But with Cecilie leading the charge, we're in safe hands.

Okay? Shall we get started?

- Jan, do you have a minute? - I have a half.

I just have to tell you that I... I'm pregnant.

Pregnant? Aren't you much too old for that?

I mean... I didn't think you were the maternal type. But congratulations.

Thank you.

I hope you know what you're doing. Nappies don't mix well with this job.

Andreas is taking half the leave. I'll be back before you know it.

Okay... A heads-up would have been nice.

Yes... But this was a whoopsie.

My two youngest were whoopsies, too. Just stay focused on the case.

Yes. I will.

Excuse me... I'll be focused... I have to take this.

This is Cecilie.

This will be the herb garden. Basil and mint.

- Thyme. - Of course. All the good things.

And set up the spare room

so I can move in and help out the first couple of months.

Malte and I think it would be better to expand the living room.

You can be here during the day.

Trust me, you'll be needing help 24/7. Men are no help at night.

Right.

This is Liv.

- What's this about? - Let's go in here and close the door.

Please, have a seat.

- This is Mogens. He owns the clinic. - Is something wrong with the baby?

No, no. Your baby is doing fine.

But there's been an administrative error. It's never happened before.

Your egg has unfortunately been swapped with that of another couple.

What?

- Mogens, would you elaborate? - They've been swapped. The eggs.

How can that happen?

We don't know.

You have to know how the hell this happened!

It shouldn't have been possible. We don't really understand.

- But it... - Easy. There must be an explanation.

Mogens?

They've simply been swapped.

We paid for a private clinic to make sure we'd be in safe hands.

Yes, the public sector can be very messy.

But it's my sperm in the egg? Or is that swapped too?

It's not just the sperm, it's the whole lot.

But what do we do now?

- We can terminate the pregnancy. - That's not happening.