Papai é Pop

Tom...

Honey...

- Tom. - What?

What is it, my love?

What? Did your water break?

- Pee. - What?

Pee.

Sorry?

I peed myself.

Laura, Mommy just wet the bed!

Quit joking around.

You...

- -

Smart-ass...

Don't you know how pregnancy works?

This huge belly squeezes my bladder

and if I sneeze or cough... my pee leaks!

- -

- -

Dumbass.

DAD ROCKS

Ah, 41 weeks...

Good grief, sweetheart.

Look, princess, I know that at some point in life,

daughters want to end their moms,

but don't you think you're starting a little too soon?

Laura... Take your time, sweetheart.

Does Mommy seem angry? Yes.

Is she a bed-wetter? Yes.

Smart-ass.

But Laura, that means nothing when you remember

that your mother is intelligent,

that your mother is the best lawyer in the city,

that she is gorgeous...

And that your dad is... cool.

He's not just cool.

Your dad's a computer genius and a hot one at that.

You'll adore us, baby girl.

Honey...

Have you realized we'll soon become a trio?

Yes. But first...

You have to come out, baby! C'mon!

Want a ride?

- Sure do. -

Well, honey, here we go.

- Have a good day at work. See you later. - Thank you, honey.

Thank you.

- Have a good day at work. - You too.

Damn door!

- Geez... - Oh, honey!

- This is important, okay? - Mhm.

In case of emergency, keep a potty with you at all times.

- Smart-ass... - Love you, bedwetter!

What's up, Tetsuo?

Hey, Ivan.

Good morning.

- -

Uh-oh...

What's this, darling? Are you doing penance or something?

My dear, you need a tow truck.

To think I used to be a size small... Is that coffee?

Stop, you addict! When will you send me those lawsuits?

I'll send them as soon as I fix some stuff.

- Elisa, you're like 700 weeks! - I know.

You'll blow up and become Brazil's largest earthquake.

Even Japan will feel it!

Do you know how much productivity drops after birth?

Eighty-one percent.

I mean, I have to make up for it before this wonderful being comes out.

But there are two people out here to take care of this child.

- Oh, I know. Tom won't handle it. - What? He will.

- It'll be a fiasco. - It won't be.

Tom can handle it.

- Sure. - He gets jittery sometimes,

but he'll nail it.

Because Tom is wonderful, gentle, funny, affectionate...

You know the type of man who says exactly what we want to hear?

Sure. Therapists also do that, and you don't have to marry them.

You're so fussy.

Go handle those lawsuits, darling.

You have a bun in the oven, bills to pay...

I'm gonna find you, Tommy.

Enemy sighted.

Ah!

- I won! Knifed you! - Unbelievable.

Oh, baby... Pay up, 50 bucks.

- What, 50? - If knifed, pay 50.

We bet 30.

I won't even grab my wallet.

- Whatever. - My postgame beer is on you.

Lemme just call Elisa to see if she's okay.

You really think Laura will be born during the match?

Of all times? Just think about it.

Let's go!

Tonight I'll score at least one hat trick, bro.

Shit, lemme tell you something...

- Bye, Elisa. - Bye.

Ah... That's just wonderful. What a day.

- -

Whoa, Daddy, are you pregnant?

Stop it, dude, I was just relaxed.

Christ, what a stench, Júlio! What did you eat, man?

Oxtail stew.

Christ...

Now tell me, how are things with Margo?

Any problems raising Beto?

No problems, dude, just gotta manage it well.

I want tips, you're my guru!

I'm dad of the year, I'll coach you!

- -

Did you see my rabona ?

That was a fluke, come on!

If it weren't for my injury, I'd have done it again!

It was totally by chance!

6 VOICE MESSAGES 45 MISSED CALLS

Babe, my water broke.

I'm on my way to the hospital. Where are you?

I called you 45 times, I'm in the hospital!

Tom, I am waiting for you. Show up!

Your daughter is coming, do you understand?

And she'll be born without a father!

You know what? Don't even come here!

Show up right now or don't even come!

O Lord, deliver this Black man from bigotry

because his daughter is coming!

Thank you so much!

Thanks!

Ouch...

Hey, hey, hey! Accidents are in Block B!

It's not an accident, my wife is in labor!

Have you been here before?

- No. - Photo ID?

Yes.

It's right here...

VIP CLIENT - 8% DISCOUNT

- Go on. But come back later. - All right! Thanks!

Where's the surgical ward?

- Very good, very good! - Coming in.

I'm here, okay?

Look who arrived. Welcome, Daddy!

- Now's your turn, Elisa! - Everything okay?

Apart from giving birth to our daughter without you,

it's all good!

There's a contraction coming!

Come on, Elisa!

Stop filming!

Very good! Use this anger and push!

Go, go, go!

Yes, very good!

- -

I can't believe some fathers still pass out.

- Are you okay? - I'm all right, thanks.

She's so beautiful, Tom. Look, Tom.

- Look at this beautiful thing we made! - My God, she's perfect.

- Did you count her fingers? - So beautiful! I did.

Tom, cut the cord.

- Me? - Yes!

Don't be silly, it's your daughter!

- Okay. - Hold this.

Good! See? It didn't hurt.

Congratulations, Daddy!