Goosebumps

Hi, I'm Kurt Loder.

For the next hour, we're going to relive 1993

in all it's bizarre, thunder-hitting glory.

- -

Hello?

Hello?

- -

Who's there?

- -

- -

- -

Leave me alone!

Stay away from me!

- -

["Unholy" by Sam Smith and Kim Petras plays]

Good morning, Nora.

My favorite person. How are you?

Good morning, gentlemen. I'm good.

Good. Hey, I want a bacon burrito

and one of your special waffle thing.

I'll get a waffle thing.

And then also whatever your most colorful cereal is.

- Me too. - Guys! The credit card machine

is down. Cash only today.

You do realize we're living in a cashless society, right?

- I do, I do. - So, just to clarify,

does that mean no food?

Because we're starving.

- Knock yourselves out. - Saltines?

I didn't realize people actually ate these.

Yeah, I thought they were something that came free with soup.

Uh-huh. They are.

Bro. They're not bad.

- That's all you, bro. - Watch your backs!

- -

Uh...

H... Hey, uh, you okay, Lucas?

I'm chillin'.

Lucas!

Damn it! I said stop doing that!

- Are you okay? - It's all right, Mom.

It's just my head this time.

Oh, God, it's just your head?

I get really nervous around him.

Bro, how is this man still alive?

Lucas! No, no, no!

- -

All right!

Let's give it up for our Port Lawrence Titans

and their team captain and my favorite person...

Wasn't supposed to say that but I just did, Isaiah Howard!

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Come on Titans! Come on Titans!

Bring it! We gonna bring it!

Bring it, bring it! Yeah!

Port Lawrence High! How y'all doing?

Hey, honey.

- Dad... - Oh, sorry.

I forgot we're at school. You're not my daughter.

- Hello, Margot. - Hello.

Did you bring a book to a pep rally?

This is my way of hiding that I have zero school spirit.

Is it working?

No. No, it's not.

Now listen, this is our year!

Titans, this is our time!

You think the glory days are behind us?

Oh, no. They right there at our fingertips.

Now, I need y'all to hold up your glory fingertips and wave 'em!

- - Now, Port Lawrence High,

I need y'all to know that I love this town!

And Port Lawrence High, I love this game!

But Port Lawrence High,

most important of all, I love you guys!

- I love you, Isaiah! -

Uh-oh, I got a little problem here.

No, no, James.

- Yeah, Titan! - No humping the air,

we talked about this!

I'm humping us to victory!

No, that's not a thing!

God, football players suck, huh?

That... Um, that was, like, insensitive, I'm sorry.

No one actually sucks. Everyone's got their stuff.

No one sucks? You... You stand by that?

- I don't know. - So like, Jeffrey Dahmer,

like, he's a cool dude?

No, no, no, he's not.

Or like Andrew Johnson, he's a chiller?

I don't know who that is, but I gotta trust you.

On three. Ready, one, two, three...

Titans!

I love y'all so much.

Please don't drop the mic. It's super expensive.

- -

Come here, babe.

- Hey, thanks, Susan! - It's Isabella.

I love y'all!

I don't know about you, but that felt really good.

- What did I say? - You know? Bro, I'm not even

nervous for Friday night.

- I got it. - Wait. It's Sam.

- Be cool. - What does that mean, "Be cool"?

Bro, give me more specific instructions.

'Sup?

'Sup?

'Sup?

- What the hell was that? - Well, I don't know.

I thought we were just saying hi to each other.

No, that was a very delicate moment.

We were like a solid five steps away

from something substantial I can tell my therapist about.

Well, you didn't give me any direction, man.

- Hey, babe. - Like a... Oh, hi.

James still hasn't asked Sam out.

Okay, what is taking you so long?

Why are you all up in my business?

Um, because we love you.

- Uh, boredom. -

Oh, not again!

What's wrong?

Hey, y'all! Halloween party, my house, tomorrow night.

Come dressed to impress.

- You be there or be... -

Is that a pig squealing?

Yeah, the person that's trolling me altered the invite.

- How bad is it? - Thousand views this morning.

A thousand?

Look, a thousand views is not that bad.

A thousand views is like everyone you know

times, like, five.

It could be the same person

watching it a thousand times, all right?

- Unlikely. - Hmm?

So likely.

Okay, well, it's just so annoying,

'cause it's clearly someone at this school.

But I'm not mean to anyone. I'm literally super nice.

- So why am I being trolled? - I know, right?

By the way, is Sam coming to your party?

Really? Just gonna turn

the conversation back to you?

Yes, Allison. People do crazy things when they're in love.

- I sound like a pig! - Isaiah,

can I, uh, quick word?

Yeah. Okay.

See ya later. Get outta here.

- - This is frustrating.

What's up, Mr. Stokes?

All right, Isaiah, there he is.

- Have a seat. - How are you?

I'm great, I'm great, thank you.

Hey, amazing game last week. You were on fire.

Hey, thank you, man.

I don't want to be a bummer here.

Somehow, you landed on academic probation

and you can't play in the game on Friday.

Sorry.

- Wait, what? - Yeah.

Well, no.

Sir, I'm gonna have to play.

There are gonna be scouts at that game.

Look, calm down, okay?

I already talked to Miss Dowling,

and she said all you have to do

is get an A on the big history test tomorrow,

she'll take you off probation, no problem.

There's a history test tomorrow?

You're hilarious.

That's why everybody likes you.

Yes, there's a big history test tomorrow and you gotta kill it.

Okay? We're all counting on you, get that A.