The Monastery (Монастырь)

PLUS STUDIO

LUNA PARK

Hello, Father.

Where do I start?

Well, Yury,

tell me, what are you so worried about?

I don't know what the problem is. It has never happened before.

Some thoughts torment me, stop me from working.

Yesterday they brought a donation to the church.

A woman gave me money.

She said it was for me.

I wanted to buy a chocolate bar.

It's Lent!

I didn't buy it.

I took the money to my cell and put it aside.

You'll burn in hell for this.

I will?

Relax.

It's not a mortal sin.

The money is yours.

You can tell your father.

In the Holy Trinity, glorified and venerated Father, to the Son,

and to the Holy Spirit, all my sins which I have committed

in every day of my life and at every hour of this day…

Where did you learn this?

What?

Don't tell me you've always prayed like that.

I found it on the Internet.

What are your sins?

Everything, Father.

Everything.

Have you stolen horses?

Don't be too hard on yourself, Alexander.

Our Lord Jesus Christ,

the sins of God's servant Yury,

voluntary and involuntary, are forgiven.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Angelina, use your legs more actively.

- You can't even see me. - I can see everything.

Your oxygen level, calories burned, where you are now,

and even the croissant you had this morning.

Sergey, I hurt in places

That I didn't even know existed.

You're gonna look like a twig.

Nikolay, you can play hockey with her.

Mary, help yourself to tomatoes.

They were flown here yesterday from home.

You mean by plane or on their own?

By plane.

Without anyone else?

Yes.

I can just picture it: Tomatoes taking their seats,

and a flight attendant tomato is giving them instructions.

«Put the mask on the tomato first, then put it on yourself…»

Honey, you have to stop feeding that woman.

She's already flabby.

What?

How do you live without exercise?

I do sex therapy, girl.

What muscles do you train?

Depends on the partner, but mostly the lip muscles.

Sometimes you get pounded so hard it feels like 3-hours of exercise.

- Mary! - What?

It's such a great cardio exercise. You can stretch your muscles as well.

Or you can pump the biceps.

Just on one arm though.

And it feels great.

- Sergey, why are we wasting our time? - Huh?

What do you think?

Coaches sleep with their clients only in pornos.

It's Mary's thing.

Nikolay, I don't do things like that…

I'm glad you're having fun.

- You're having fun, aren't you? - Of course, I am.

I'm very, very happy.

- I'll be gone in an hour. - What do you mean?

- You've only just got here. - Oh, come on.

What a beautiful morning.

- Go have breakfast. - I'm on a diet.

She is!

Don't eat breakfast.

Or eat something and then do your sex therapy.

With whom, I wonder?

Damn it. We wanted to go to a club, to a restaurant.

Sergey, take the girls to a circus, a club, wherever they want.

We can go to…

We planned to spend time together! You’re annoying me.

Stop whining.

I'm sponsoring a movie right now.

The main character ends up at the bottom of the ocean in a boat.

- So what? - You keep annoying me,

you get the role and go swim with sharks.

It's not funny at all.

I can't live like that.

Yeah, girl.

That's crazy.

Sergey, get us two bottles of Vintage Widow.

There's already one widow here, that's me.

- Grass widow, that is. - Oh, you're my grass widow.

Have some tomatoes.

Good girl.

See what a clever girl she is?

Let's go then.

THE MONASTERY

Hey, guys!

Come with us!

Guys, come along with us!

Are you crazy? We're gonna get fined!

You can go to jail for going out on the balcony in a bikini.

Come on, my children, come to mama.

I love men!

You can eat me and fuck me.

Stop it!

Sergey, open the bottle.

Just for you. She’s had enough already.

We are in the Emirates. A woman's word is law here.

Angelina, that's not how it works here.

It's our country now.

Girls, hello!

You're so beautiful! Your face is beautiful.

Nevermind, she's crazy!

Hey, ladies. I won't take part in this.

You don't have to.

Nikolay said we could have fun.

Stop here, buy us some water.

We have plenty of water in the boot.

I want cold, fresh sparkling water.

- But ma'am… - I want it.

One minute.

What are you doing?

What the hell are you doing?

Peace out!

Bitch.

Angelina!

Yury, take some water to the lads.

Of course.

Hi, Yury.

Good afternoon.

I brought water.

- Here's some water. - Finally!

Angelina, you have exactly two hours

to lose your mental virginity in an Arab country.

- What virginity? - Mental.

You have to relax, get out of your comfort zone,

hang out in the desert with some Bedouin.

Tell me more about patterns or how the planets affect my sleep.

Don't you believe that?

- Do you believe it? - No, I don't.

But today is the seventh lunar day.

I wrote a letter to my vagina.

Oh, look, look, look!

I think it's answering me.

«I want adventure!»

Vagina,

we hear and obey you.

Okay, we obey, but we have to go back.

Adventures, Angelina. Come here.

Okay then.

Guys, hello.

You surf in the desert?

We surf in sea with you.

No, no, no, thank you.

Your girlfriends?

No, just friends.

I can barely understand their accent.

Oh, hello.

Guys, catch up!

The demons won't let me be.

They fly all over me at night, Father.

I already have both sleeping pills and prayers.

I think I'm going crazy.

I went to visit my neighbor.

She had everything — cakes, salads.

I was literally shaking when I saw it.

I rushed home.

I got under the blanket,

and I started praying, swearing it would never happen again.

When I fell asleep, the demons woke me up.

It has nothing to do with demons.

Demons tempted the saints, and you just want to eat.

I didn't feel like myself.

I know I can keep myself together.

I've been fasting during Lent.

I yelled at my neighbor.

Why did she invite me during Lent? Why did she tempt me?

Lent is not your diet.

You know, go to your neighbor and have a good meal.

It's Holy Week.

It's a work of penance for you.

Lent is not about fasting.

It's about being kind to people, too.

But how can I?

You should thank her.

Your neighbor.

It's not her fault. Embrace her.

Then get some sleep and pray in the morning.

Maybe you'll start fasting, not because you were told to

but because you decided to.

Wow.