Minx

Magazine has taken the publishing world by storm,

selling out its second issue in a matter of days.

But is it feminist? Is it pornography?

Please welcome Joyce Prigger.

What I'm trying to do is real, and it's hard,

and there are no shortcuts.

I've never marched in someplace and just quit before.

I have. There was bloodshed.

Well, why don't we ask your new managing editor

and see what she thinks?

- Tins? - Doug.

Look, I would've consulted with you, but, uh, you quit.

Things with Lenny have been a little off.

You are on fire, and you have a secret.

I am applying to business school.

You want to throw away years of our relationship

over a couple of bad days?

Do you really think Joyce

has what it takes to do all this on her own?

Ban the Minx!

Take the Minx! Take the Minx!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - I'll tell you what.

Minx is yours.

Take it. I can't wait to see what you do.

[T. REX'S "CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION" PLAYING]

- -

Thank you.

Hello!

Oh, well... Oh, thank...

Joyce, Joyce, Joyce.

Hey.

You've had quite the ride, Miss Prigger.

How do you make it look so easy?

Well, the real question is,

why do men make it look so hard?

Oh, hello.

Calling out her name again.

Oh, it wasn't a sex dream... don't worry.

- I'd prefer if it was. -

[SANFORD CLARK'S "CLIMBIN' THE WALLS" PLAYING]

Joan of Arc, Susan B. Anthony,

Jackie O., Joyce Prigger...

icons one and all.

Now, that's a tea party I'd attend.

Betsy Ross, Amelia Earhart...

Jackie O., Joyce Prigger...

game changers one and all.

- Sign me up for that tea party. -

Sojourner Truth,

Madame Marie Curie,

- Jackie O. - Pioneers, one and all.

We're already on the same page.

- - Not my first tea party.

Are you ready to be the latest jewel

in the Condé Nast crown?

No one is better suited than Meredith

to make Minx the first name in smart, sophisticated...

And sexy female-oriented lifestyle publications.

An iconic editor needs an iconic publisher...

Hearst.

- TaB? - TaB?

- TaB? - Thank you.

How would you like a key to the Condé Nast fashion closet?

Company car and driver?

Box seats to the Met and the Mets?

Well, maybe just the first one.

And for when you need to take your meetings on the go...

portable telephone.

Shelly, I'm calling you from a suitcase.

Best-selling new magazine in America.

Two-year wait just to advertise.

I mean, if you ask me, any bank would be crazy

- not to loan money... - Not to loan money

to the man who owns the rights to that, yeah.

Well, it's not about the magazine.

It's about the man who launched the magazine,

found the diamond in the rough, right?

That's what Doug Renetti does.

Says here what Doug Renetti does

is mount up towering debt

against the promise of future receipts.

That's publishing, my friend.

You've overextended yourself like a madman.

Again, that's publishing. That's the game.

So maybe not a good business for us to get into.

I'm gonna get back in the black, I promise you that.

Have you ever heard of running?

It's a new fitness trend, and I got a magazine for it.

It's about to explode.

You want to know what it's called?

Joggin'.

No G, just Joggin'.

Hey, scratch that one. I got a million ideas.

[CORTIJO Y KAKO Y SUS TAMBORES' "JUAN JOSÉ" PLAYING]

Mm. Knead it, papi.

Maybe we should ask Arturo

if he wants to model, see what happens.

No. He's super religious. Our families are close.

Oh. It's a good centerfold idea, though...

working-class heroes,

sweaty men doing honest labor naked.

Oh, maybe not in food prep, though.

You keep pitching ideas

for a magazine that doesn't exist.

Joyce will find a publisher.

She's picking a dad for us.

This is not something you have to rush.

Oh, very sweet, but you I have to pay.

Oh.

Ooh.

Tell me you made a decision.

Baker's hours are killing me.

There should only be one three o'clock.

I'm sorry, but this is very hard.

Everyone's just so nice and agreeable.

And?

And I am not used to the world saying yes to me, are you?

I'm guessing you get a lot more yeses, Joyce.

Would it help if I chose?

It wouldn't be the first time I found a stepdad on short notice.

Uh, thank you, no.

Uh, I just need a teeny little bit more time.

And how long is that gonna take?

I'm sorry, Joyce, but I'm broke.

And I have to take a second job.

- Isn't this your second job? - No, because...

Uh, well, what's the job?

Some crazy rich lady tracked me down,

offered me a lot of money to take boudoir shots for her.

She wants the Minx touch.

What... Richie, no. That's beneath you.

I'm wearing an apron, ogling my godson.

Don't tell me what's beneath me.

Who's the crazy rich lady?

She's the money I need.

And it'll buy you time to make a very easy decision.

You two should come help.

- Fun! - Pass.

- Snob. - Gracias.

Gracias. This ain't Spain.

- - Work the lats, hon.

Hold that flame up like you burning heaven itself.

I'm not smiling. Liberty's a serious bitch.

Chucky, come on, man, how long you known me?

Oh, yeah.

So you know I'm good for the money

that you front me, plus the vig.

And I'm gonna give you a nice chunk

of profit participation to boot on this one, okay?

- "Profit participation"? - Yeah.

Well, I didn't know how deep the hole was.

Well, I probably shouldn't have let my insurance lapse.

That's on me, but we got to stick together.

We got to help each other like we always have.

Hey, hon, don't mess with that.

Slim, get-get Liberty's tits properly fortified.

Chuck, can you please talk to me for a second on this?

Okay. Times have changed, Dougie.

You traded in your real friends

for that pish-posh ladies' magazine,

bringing all kinds of heat on us.

And you know why you're here with your hand out?

- Why? - You got fancy.

- I didn't get fancy. - You did, Doug. You did.

- I didn't get fancy. - You got fancy, Doug.

You was chitchatting with Dick Cavett,

and then, oops, there goes the RSVP to my Christmas party.

Lydia is bereft.

You were the best goddamn Santa we ever had.

Now we got Mikey Two-Fingers in the suit.

Mikey's Santa?

He pinches asses, not cheeks.

Yeah. That's on you.

That's on me? Not Mikey Deuce?

Hey, we all know who Mikey is.

You've changed.

- Great to see you, Chuck. - Mm-hmm.

Mitzi.

Tell Bambi we miss her at mah-jongg.

Okay.