The GOAT

Previously on The Goat...

They kissed...

Joe, this is pornographic. This is a family show.

Congratulations, Pao! You are the new Goat!

And tell me who you are throwing under the bus.

Sorry, Day.

...they did not make up...

Watch your mouth, watch your mouth!

You don't get to call me a bitch!

Learn to lose.

The deciding vote...

is for Da'Vonne.

...and Da'Vonne's goat went to a little golden goat heaven.

Bye, little goat friend.

Goodbye, Da'Vonne.

Damn!

It's a new dawn, it's a new day...

It's a new life, and yet, I'm still doing this.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

The house feels empty.

It's only four of us. And today, I don't know what's gonna happen.

Lord, honey, children! Wakin' up in the Goat Manor this morning,

I feel finer than ever! Listen, I'm so happy I made it to the finale!

And honey, I am ready to get on to the next thing and keep on goin'!

I love that, you know, us four have gotten to the finale.

It's been an exciting, very eye-opening experience.

But I'm glad I got to take this journey with you four.

This was a tough game, competitively, socially. It was not easy.

Yeah.

The question is now, how bad do you want it?

'Cause there can only be one.

I've never made it into a finale.

On The Bachelorette , I went home first night.

Two minutes of screen time.

And here I am in the final four.

I can't... You know, I just can't be killed.

Yeah, well, I hope there is a consolation prize, too.

You'll get an Amazon gift card for $100.

Where's my herd?

Hi! We're here!

-Wow! Uh-oh. - Look at that!

Race car driver!

Oh! Ooh!

All right.

Hello, herd!

Hello.

And welcome to the season finale of The Goat.

You guys still stewing on yesterday's antics?

-Joe? -Yeah.

Ooh! Dodgin' bullets.

Squeaked by again.

Oh, my God. Have you ever seen someone have so many lives as Joe?

Not only was he on the chopping block multiple times,

he lost the last three individual competitions, badly.

He should've been sent home at least seven or eight times from elimination.

And last night was his night. And his last.

Pao... that was a strong move.

Well, she was the last strong competitor standing up.

And the goal was to get rid of the strongest.

So, I just did what I needed to do.

But now, if you had to get rid of the strongest,

who would you get rid of here?

I don't want to say it. But it's not Joe.

- It's not Joe. - It's one of us.

- - It's one of us.

I took some big shots by taking out Da'Vonne.

That was a big move. And I'm proud of myself.

Did anyone break their promise to anyone last night?

Why does everybody look at me when they talk about...?

I didn't promise.

I'm not looking at you.

He didn't have the same relationship with Day that I did.

I wouldn't say so much it's breaking a promise,

- Mm-hmm. -I think it's bending the truth.

Or like, stabbin' in the back.

So, Da'Vonne got voted out last night, and uh, of course, we all miss her.

And I did have a deal with her to go all the way to the finale,

but sometimes you just gotta point the arrow and let it fly.

Really, it's all goats for their own goat.

So, I need to stay focused on what I need to do.

All right. Over the past nine episodes,

we've celebrated many different types of reality shows.

All the iconic franchises that churn out weirdos,

like you...

So, it's only fitting that our finale celebrates the greatest reality show,

this one. The Goat.

The next Goat we crown will be the Goat of Goats

and win $200,000.

But at the final ultimation, only three of you will be there.

That's right. One of you will be exiled from Goat Manor

this afternoon!

You should see the look on your faces!

I don't like the fact that one of us is going home.

And what I don't like worse, is I know who should be going home.

I'm having a nightmare vision that Joe's gonna sneak in,

completely do everything perfectly and take the $200,000.

And we're gonna be looking at him and like... what?

Wow.

All I can say is week two, they could've got me out.

And they thought I was the weaker player.

And that has been the narrative ever since.

And I've made it to the finale.

So, prepare yourself for battle.

Maybe do a stretch or two and meet me outside.

Still can't believe Joe is here.

Wow. Okay.

- Wow! -Here we go.

-Greetings, Goats. - Hi.

-Here we are... -"Team Jason."

-"Team Jason." I'm a little jealous. -

Who am I rooting for? Mm, Joe.

And I'm gonna throw in a wild card, Jill.

That's my prediction. Let's see if that comes true.

You're cheating on me with Team Jason.

As soon as I see Jason struggling, I'll jump ship.

Here we are! So close to the end.

This is your second to last test.

Season One's Reality Remix Relay Race!

A literal race to the finish.

You'll certainly recognize some of the obstacles today.

That's right. They're all from previous challenges.

I bet you never thought in a million years you'd get a chance to do it again.

First, you'll ring the life savers around the buoy in the pool.

****

Next, pop those pimples

to find the golden key to unlock the treasure chest.

Then, the dramatic table flip.

Oh, not again!

This seems incredibly dangerous.

Next, you'll head inside to the living room

and complete the word scramble.

****

Aelianca?

Oh, my!

Then, move to the front yard, where you'll fire tomatoes

from a giant sling shot.

- Whoo! - Teck, clean the thing off!

As you complete each leg, you'll grab puzzle pieces,

take them with you in a backpack,

like some kind of reality star Indiana Jones.

Once you have your final pieces,

dump them on the table to complete the puzzle.

That's right, a puzzle.

Make sure you tell your grandparents so they can play along at home.

I did 2,500 to 5,000 piece puzzles my entire childhood.

That was my gig. When I get to the puzzle, that's where I shine.

The last person to finish

will be exiled from Goat Manor immediately.

This one is the Goat of all Goats in competitions.

I mean, I'm excited!

'Cause I am one step closer to $200,000.

And whatever it takes to get to that end, I'm willing to do it.

Let's keep on a-goin'.

Okay. Everybody's ready?

I'm gonna try my best.

Wait a second. I'm jumping ship. I don't like his energy.

Sorry, Jason.

I'm sorry. I don't like his energy.

Really?

Okay.

-High five. - Yes.

Ready... set...

Goat!

Oh, this is a mess.

- - Oh, that was a good throw.

- Yeah. - Oh, my God. Okay.

Jesus Christ! Pao hits the ring, literally on her first try.

If I come in last, then I gotta go apply for, what is it,

like The Biggest Loser , or something?

That'll have to be... Isn't that a show?

It's a weight loss show.

Oh. Whatever.

Come on, Pao! Pop those pimples

to find the golden key to unlock the treasure chest

and grab a puzzle piece to complete the puzzle.

- - Where's the key?

Pao was quick!

Ugh! I can't do it.

Oh! That a boy, Joe.

Ugh.

Next, a Real Housewives inspired complete table flip.

Flip a table over and have it land back on its legs.

If you fail, reset the table and flip it again

until it lands right side up.

- You can do it. -

Nice, Jason! Come on, Jason!

Move with purpose! Move with purpose!

Being so close to the end,

you can just see the trophy and you can see the money.

To be cut at the last minute would be devastating.

So, let's get in there, sling out a few "Lord, honeys"

and "bless your hearts" and get it done.

-Oh! -

The key drops, I hear it. And I get my key.

Where is the key?!

I hit four or five balloons, I'm a mess.

And then, I can't find my key. Jason just took a lead on me.

All I'm saying to myself is just stay calm.

Don't... this up. It's 200 grand.

Let's go, Jill! Let's go, Jill!