Impractical Jokers

Narrator: Coming up, what's got murr dreading the dead?

I would like to state for the record

That I have a very real fear of mummies.

Why is sal taking it queasy?

I did not vom creamy chunks.

That was the actual necc, new England clam chowder.

And which losing joker will have his world

Turned upside down in tonight's big punishment?

Sal: Prepare for something amazing.

Hey, mustache, what's up?

Murr: Like a boss!

Sal: I will never forgive you!

Joe: Larry!

Sal: I don't think my pastor would approve.

Today, we're competing head-to-head tournament-style

As participants in a taste-testing focus group.

When the moderator asks for our thoughts on each product,

All we have to do is read our responses,

Which were written by the other guys.

In the end, the moderator will be asked in private

Which one of us should go on to the next round of testing.

If they don't pick you, you lose.

Oh, hi. Thanks for having us.

Joe: They're supposed to be in a focus group

About a chocolate bar.

They have chocolate bar focus groups?

Yes, they do. They do. How do I get into it?

How do I get it?

I'm james.

Sal. Hey, sal. I'm rick.

Rick.

Rick: I'm gonna ask you these questions,

And let's go from there.

So, sal wrote all of murr's answers.

Mm-hmm. Murr wrote all of sal's.

How did this product make you feel?

I felt a strong connection between us

When you watched me enjoy that.

Okay.

Between the product and me or...?

Between us. Oh, nice.

And I think that's what the bar does

Is it brings people together.

Joe: Nice one. Wow.

And, sal?

I wrote, "to be honest, I'm a little butt hurt."

Butt hurt?

It left me yearning for a tongue like --

murray.

I'm honest,

So to be honest, I'm a little butt hurt.

It left me yearning for a tongue without scars.

What activities do you see yourself enjoying

While using this product?

I wrote, "I throw beef tips

At passing cars from the overpass.

This would be nice to have during lulls in traffic."

Beef tips.

You throw beef tips?

"I used to throw steaks, but..."

I to throw steaks, but...

"...There was a real bad pileup.

There was a bad pileup.

What can we do to separate this product

From the competitors?

I wrote, "claim it cures lupus

And then let it do so."

Does it claim it cures lupus?

What I think would set it apart from a competitor --

Oh, you're saying --

Claim it does and then let it, you know?

Is there anything you want to add

To the conversation about this product?

I would like to state for the record

That I have a very real fear of mummies.

explain that.

Mummies are terrifying.

Okay, okay.

the "okay."

I know a friend who has an irrational fear of spiders.

Really?

Not spiders, tarantulas.

Why he's such, like, a big baby about it?

I have a friend just like that with kittens and cats.

You're not on the same side, sal.

It's not you and him versus me.

For frame of reference, name some products you enjoy.

Okay. I like it

When the government gives us good weather.

Alright. How do they do that?

Heck if I know. I'm not the government, rick.

Passing laws to help with emissions?

"sure, sure."

Give us climate weather.

Sure.

Sal?

So for frame of reference, name some products you enjoy.

Rick, I wrote, "what do you mean?

I like shampoo, computers, pens, and couches.

What the hell do you mean?"

You know what I mean? Okay.

Hey there, rick. I'm just going to grab you for a minute.

Alright. You guys can stay here.

I think murray's got it. Murray presented himself

As the type of guy you want answering questions. That's true.

Which of these two guys would you say was better?

"they're both real bad."

You would pick this one?

Which guy? Uh-oh.

Joe: Look how confused he is.

Sal.

He changed it to sal! He changed it to sal!

He changed it to sal.

Are you kidding me?

Hello, hi.

Joe and q have written the opinions for each other.

I'm brian, by the way.

Hi, michelle. I'm joe.

Flip them over, boys.

First question is, how would you improve this product, joe?

This is -- I come from a marketing background.

I would add a sense of danger,

Maybe drop a press release

That too much of it will kill you.

And I think you can get a buzz going.

Like, do you think there's too much of something

Or less of something or add something?

Oh, so I see what you're saying.

If I was going to add something,

I would add the danger.

Does that make sense? No.

How about you, brian?

How would I improve this product?

I wrote, "I'm not sure if the ingredients are locked in,

But I would add some ginkgo biloba

Or horny goat weed."

Describe how this product would enhance your life.

This...Can change everything for me.

I'll get sally back.

My kids will look up to me

Instead of their new daddy.

My father will speak to me again.

This is what I've been waiting for.

Right.

It's a chocolate bar.

Plus it's low-carb. Yeah.

Okay, so what events do you see this product being offered at?

I wrote, "the jewish one where they cut the penis."

She's done.

Joe, for reference, name some products that you enjoy.

Power bars, k-y jelly, and toblerone.

Alright.

I like that toblerone was third, not k-y jelly.

How about you, brian?

Name some products you enjoy.

I wrote, "diet pills, shiney hiney, nerds candy,

And scented candles."

Okay. Any other feedback?

Any other feedback.

No, we covered everything.

I have the k-y jelly, toblerone...

Start reviewing every answer from the both of you out loud.

Shiney hiney...

Diet pills... Sense of danger...

Ginkgo biloba.

The jewish one where they cut the penis.

Toblerone.

Murr: Here we go.

If you had to choose,

Which guy do you think is better?

Oh, she chose joe! Sal: Joe!

Come on, some bullshit thing that he made up.

Go get your stuff.

Yeah. Diet pills.

I was really big on the --

You got it. Thanks.

So it starts on the eye of the lion

And it zooms in on the eye of the lion,

But it's a ghost the whole time.

I like what you're saying, but you don't like the --

Just put it in your mouth.

Murr: It comes down to this, gentleman.

We switched the product to an energy drink,

As you see on the desk.

I'm sal. I'm joe.

Norka.

Norka. Nice to meet you. Thank you.

We may be losers, but we're also not working anymore today.