Love Story

And this is a recurring dream that you're having?

Yes.

And in it, the two of you are riding in that convertible…

In the motorcade in Dallas, only you're the one that's injured.

- Mmm. - And what are you wearing?

I'm wearing the same thing his mother wore.

The pink tweed suit and the pillbox hat.

- She hates wearing hats. -

I do. Um…

Okay, well, obviously that's what tracks

with what we're talking about in our sessions.

The idea that you are paying the price for John's fame, for John's ambitions.

It also speaks to an outsized fear of exposure of the real world.

Hmm. Let's just try not to editorialize, okay?

Well, maybe if I was at home sleeping with her in our bed,

she wouldn't be having these nightmares.

You were the one who decided to leave and now you're saying

your absence is the problem?

Yeah, so we wouldn't say anything we could never take back.

Yeah, so you go on a walk, John. You don't move out.

- I didn't move out. - You left and then you-you…

Yeah, you didn't come back.

- So how would you characterize that? - Oh, my God.

And if that is your instinct, to bolt when things get hard,

how can I trust you just won't keep doing it?

I was the one that made it very clear that divorce was off the table.

So I should just feel comforted

that you have unilaterally issued that decree.

It means that the only option in my mind is to make this marriage work.

John, there is a difference between not wanting us to fail

- and wanting us to succeed. -

John views our marriage through the lens of the media.

He's more concerned with the optics of our issues than our actual issues.

We cannot just ignore the fact that we live under a microscope

- because it's inconvenient. - I cannot be the third person

in my marriage.

Spending the rest of my life competing with everyone else in the world,

or his family's legacy, or his magazine.

Well, I know that this is going to sound counter intuitive,

but just based on everything that I'm hearing,

I would advise a trial separation.

I'm sorry, what?

Uh, your advice for our marriage is divorce?

No.

But I think part of the reason that you two aren't finding any clarity

is that you're… you're stuck in this sort of liminal space,

and maybe if you severed contact for a little while,

you would gain a clearer idea of what you're missing

or what your life would actually look like without the other.

- Mm-hmm. - Like, for how long?

Yeah, like-like one, two weeks?

A month, maybe two.

Um, do you have, like, too many clients, or…

No.

No, I mean, you obviously would see me, you just wouldn't see each other.

I can't not talk to my wife for a month.

Yeah, I don't want to do that either.

I mean, I don't think I could even if you asked me to.

Well, I mean, you won't come together, you won't let go,

and instead, you are just white-knuckling this marriage

into a downward spiral.

What happened to one cigarette a day?

We're drinking at a dive bar

in the middle of a workday after marriage counseling.

I'd say my discipline is shot for the day.

You know something funny?

When I'm at the Stanhope reminiscing about our life together,

I never replay the bad moments in my head.

All I think about is us at our best, laughing,

- always reaching out for each other. -

It's never enough for us to just be in the same room.

We always have to feel each other to know that we're really there.

And then when we get together,

it's all we can do not to rehash every fight we've ever had.

I don't think we're totally to blame.

Our marriage counselor hates us.

- - Yeah.

I mean, I think she's going to become a divorce mediator because of us.

You know what I was thinking about the other day?

- Hmm? - That trip we took to Honduras

when you got poison ivy everywhere and I had to wrap your hands in socks

to keep you from itching.

- There was calamine lotion everywhere. - Yeah, one big, pink man.

Very messy.

What about that time we had sex on the rooftop in Paris

- and you almost got electrocuted? -

Worth it.

If only we knew then.

What?

How good we had it.

We should get going.

One more drink in this place and we really will be a sob story.

- Hey. - Sorry.

It's okay.

Do you mind if I drop by and, um, get that linen blazer?

Best kiss we've ever had?

It has to be our first outside your apartment.

No. No, that doesn't count.

I mean as a couple.

- Mmm, there have been lots. - Yeah.

Jones Beach?

- Which time? -

What about by that fire in that lodge in Montana?

No, I remember what it was.

Fuck! I'm so late.

Hey, wait, give me a kiss.

- Bye. I'll see you later, yeah? - Mm-hmm.

Okay. Love you.

- Love you. Bye. - Bye.

That's not what I had in mind.

Here you go, buddy.

Morning.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Sorry, I didn't wanna wake you. - No, that's fine.

- I know you haven't been sleeping well. - It's okay.

I have a 9:00 a.m. breakfast.

Gotcha.

- I can cancel it. - No. No, that's fine.

I just, um… I thought maybe we might wanna talk about last night.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I mean, do you feel bad?

Uh… No.

I… I don't know.

Do you feel good about what's happening right now?

Why don't we meet for lunch?

You-You know what, it's probably best we just talk about it at counseling anyway.

Do you think we tell Colleen?

I mean, we kind of did exactly the opposite of what she asked us to.

John, I'm confused.

Are we angling for a gold star here or trying to save our marriage?

I mean, I just don't want her to think that we're any more self-destructive

than she already does.

Am I seeing you at the George gala?

No, John, I j… I just can't right now.

So then I assume Rory's wedding is off the table.

I love you, but you still don't get it.

It's not as easy for me as it is for you.

What isn't?

Pretending like everything's okay.

I can assure you that this is anything but easy for me.

Talk to you later?

Yeah.

I don't think I've been back here since she died.

You look terrible.

- Wow. Mom really is here with us. - You're graying.

- Yeah, well, stress will do that to you. - Mmm.

Sit down.

It's a lot.

But you have to ask yourself what's actually within your control.

And what can you save?

- She won't forgive me. - For what?

Ruining her life, destroying her anonymity,

failing to protect her.

I mean, I remember sitting here with Mom

and her telling me that any woman I ended up with

would be under the illusion that we were entering a partnership,

when in reality, they just have to orbit me like everybody else.

She was married to the president of the United States.

All she knew was how to orbit a great man.

But you aren't Dad, and Carolyn isn't the First Lady.

John, you dated countless women who were more than willing to let you

be the center of the universe and none of them stuck.

And then you found someone who wasn't willing to contort themselves

into whatever they thought you needed, and you fell in love.

And now those qualities, that fire, that self-possession

aren't serving you anymore, and you're crying foul?

I have tried everything in my power to make her happy.

What she's asking of you feels unreasonable

because no one has ever asked it of you before.

Your whole life, people have been willing to take whatever pieces of yourself

you're willing to give them, but she isn't.

And she was never gonna be someone who would be.

I know you've been made to feel like your life is predestined,

but that doesn't mean you are powerless to change it.

The question is do you love her enough to do that?

- - Thank you.

- - Thank you.

I spoke to John earlier.

He called to ask how you were doing.

- - Well, what'd you tell him?

I said pick up the phone and call her yourself.