Nidstang

What if James Bond was a penguin with better moves and a bigger dick?

That is Petey.

An animated character who we want to bring to life

and set the world on fire.

But we need your help to do it.

I'm Nikholas Mata, the director

and lead animator.

And I'm Ana Hausen, the writer.

A little about us:

Ana I have been friends since kindergarten.

She's a talented writer.

I mean, she's brilliant!

And we've been talking about making our own film.

Something to bring American animation back to its

Ralph Bakshi 70's-era roots

for years. Now

enter Petey.

We are 80% done with the animation,

but we need $5,000 in finishing funds to hire a composer,

and color correctionist, and to launch an aggressive marketing campaign.

For a pledge of $20,

you get an actual drawing signed by me with a personalized message.

For $100, you get both.

This is only the beginning.

If the short film is successful and we can build up an audience

of awesome contributors like you,

we plan to make a full length

animated Petey film. But,

don't do it for us...

Do it for Petey.

We have our crew in your neighborhood

and we can stop by and fully aerate your lawn.

“Aeration”...

That's when we poke holes into your soil so we can break it up

and get all the nutrients in there.

Yeah.

It greens up your grass like, like no other.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying...

Okay.

I... I felt the same way about my lawn too,

but here's what I found,

Connie... “Consie”... is once

my boys come over and aerate your lawn,

you won't need to water it as often.

So. So do your lawn a favor and let us come over...

It'll take less than 30 minutes.

You're doing the right thing,

Consie.

So how does tomorrow at 2 p.m.

sound?

Perfect.

Perfect.

Are you paying with Visa or MasterCard today?

All right.

Perfect.

Got you all locked in, Consie.

See you tomorrow.

Nik, hello?

You better not be jerking off.

Look, he's about to join. You.

Yes, yes. I'm coming.

Hold on.

Hey. Nice shirt.

Don't mock my shirt, huh?

How do I look?

Let's just get this over with.

So let me do the talking, okay?

Gladly.

Hi, Mr. Leaning,

how are you today?

No complaints.

Keeping busy.

How are you?

It's Nik and Ana, right?

Yes, I'm Nikolas Mata, and this is my co-animator Ana Hausen...

Can she speak for herself?

Of course.

Hi. I'm Ana … Hausen. Ana Hausen.

Well, I don't have much time.

I received your pitch, but to be honest, I didn't have time to read it.

So, how about you just tell me what makes Petey

worth my time?

Mr. Leaning, as I always say...

Pictures speak louder than words.

What Ana and I have done is created the most kick-ass spy since

Sterling Archer.

Hell, Petey will make Archer look like an altar boy attending Sunday school.

He's handsome, charismatic, good looking,

who's got the moves and gets the ladies.

Mr. Leaning, Petey is the entire package.

And like we say around here,

don't fuck with Petey.

That's really shit-hot,

Nik and Ana.

Thank you so much.

But 2D theatrical animation is deader than dead.

3D computer graphics,

that's hot.

3-D computer fairy tales with dance numbers and fart jokes...

That sells. 2D horny penguins

that shit doesn't sell.

You follow me?

I follow.

Look, I like you Nik.

Your passion. Passion's good.

But why don't you use that passion and take it to the next level?

What do you mean? You could go 3D.

That's what audiences are into nowadays, especially adults. I.

We think that the short will prove otherwise.

How about Petey just smooches the ladies instead of banging them?

You go for a PG rating or a G rating, make a fuck ton of money.

I mean,

do we really need another PG Disney princess movie?

I mean, Petey will fuck the princess and kick Prince Charming in the balls,

Okay?

Okay, okay, tell you what.

I'll check out the shorts, see if you can convince me.

Don't fuck with Petey. That's a great tag.

You finish the short, and I'll check it out.

Thank you.

Well, that went great.

What do you mean? It did.

Didn't you hear?

He said he's going to check out the short.

We don't have a short, nor do we have enough money to finish it.

Ana, we will.

All right, we'll get the money.

We still have time.

I hope you're right.

Look, I have some work stuff I have to finish.

I'll talk to you later, okay?

Yeah. Okay.

Hi, Ana?

Foster Nevans, I saw your pitch on UFUNDIT...

Tell me more.

That's stupid...

Sure.

What would you like to know?

Everything.

Weirdo...

What the fuck do you want?

No, you don't...

What the fuck?

Look, mom,

that's all I really need to cover rent for this month.

That's it.

My next check is going to have my commission pay plus my base pay.

So I'll be in really good shape.

Please. I really appreciate it.

That's what you said last month.

Here we are again.

Would you rather have me on the street then? Is that,

is that what you want, mom?

You can always move back home.

To Idaho?

No, I don't think so.

Uncle Mark is looking for someone to take over the business.

It's good money.

I'm an animator,

Mother, I'm not a gas station clerk.

There's nothing wrong about a blue collar job.

Especially if it pays the bills.

It's just 200 bucks, Mom. Please.

Holy shit.

What?

Nothing. Sorry, Mom.

I'm just a little stressed.

Fine,

fine...

I'll send the check.

Thank you so much, Mom.

That's the last time you gotta bail my ass out, Okay, okay, I got to go, Mom.

I love you.

What kind of feature do you want me to make?

That sounds good.

Ana?

What the fuck?

Ana?

Thanks for chatting with me, Ana...

I hope it wasn't too pushy or anything hitting you up like this.

No, not at all.

I am really impressed with Petey.

Thanks.

You want to create a feature after this short, correct?

Yeah, that's the plan.

Do you have a screenplay for it yet?

Not yet.

After the short is finished, that's what I'll focus on.

I want to help write the screenplay and animate the feature.

I would do it for free, of course.

Or for ownership.

Also might have some funds to invest for that as well.

You do?

Yeah.

Also, I have some ideas.

Yeah.

Actually, I have a lot of ideas.

I'll have to run it past Nik.

He's directing it, so...

Of course.