Bloody Anniversary

Hey, munchkin.

Hey! Oh.

You're surfing.

What do you think?

I thought you had a meeting or something.

I do. Going to it right now.

I thought I'd clear my head before that.

Well, must be nice to be you.

Anyway, please don't be late tonight.

We've got a lot to do for the party.

A lot to talk about.

You know what I mean.

Yep. Copy that.

I'll be back on time, munchkin.

I got to go.

I love you so much.

And I can't wait to see my hot wife in that black dress and those pearls.

Oh, good.

Please don't be late.

I should be home between 5 or 530.

I've got that open house this afternoon,

but I'll be coming straight home after that. My.

Come on, say it.

Babe, I hate that word.

And Vanessa's right here, looking at me.

Munchkin.

Happy?

There you go.

Okay, love, I got to go.

I don't want to be late.

Boss.

Zox industries.

Got it.

Gotta go!

Sorry, hot tip on a stock.

Hey!

You're late.

Yeah. The beach is packed!

Right there, baby.

Right there.

Mr. Scholarzzi.

Nice of you to show your face, John.

I'm impressed with your punctuality.

Where I'm from, that means disrespect.

I'm sorry, Mr. Scholarzzi.

Hey hey hey hey hey,

baby.

Make him one of your nice.

Mai Tais.

This shit is impossible.

Here.

I can do it.

Hey. What's up, Johnny?

Hey, T.

What's up? Man?

Here. Have at it, hotshot.

Are you ready for me again, baby?

Just smell the air, boys.

Gotta love those negative ions.

I didn't expect anything less, Mr.

Scholarzi.

This is top notch.

How's your drink, John?

Best Mai Tai I ever had.

An exotic drink for an exotic guy.

Only the best for my business associates.

Anyway,

do you guys know the story of this cube?

My nephew gave me that shit.

Told me... I could impress the ladies with it.

I told him, kid, you out of your mind?

He said, “Uncle Al

I got a kiss because of this cube,

Yeah, right.

Anyway, he said that he was in one of his classes

in the school, and this little girl saw him playing with it.

Turning and twisting and lining all the colors together.

And how impressed she was.

And pretty much.

Out of nowhere.

She just walked up to him and gave him a kiss

a peck.

Right here on his cheek.

And you know what the son of a bitch told me later,

“Uncle Al.

The rest is history.”

Funny kid.

So I told him, let me see that thing.

Maybe I can't get laid too right?

Right.

But this shit's so goddamn hard

that if I have to figure it out,

I'll die a fucking virgin.

Hey!

So I came up with a joke.

You guys want to hear it?

What's that?

What does a Rubik's Cube

and a penis have in common?

Tyler?

Indulge me.

The more you play with it,

the harder it gets.

Hey, sexy.

Who would you rather fuck the funny guy

or the nerdy guy?

Always the funny guy?

Grazie.

Bellissima.

You see, Tyler,

the funny guy, always wins.

What the fuck?!

Mr. Scholarzzi. About your money.

This is supposed to be the greatest deal on earth.

3,000 mil in. 6,000 mil out.

But this

Tyler guy here screwed everything up.

I had nothing to do with it.

He's supposed to be some kind of financial genius, according to Zeke,

but it turned out to be a little bit of a gamble.

Johnny boy, what have they been feeding you?

Johnny boy. Johnny boy.

You see, it's not my fault.

Not at all, Mr. Schorlarzzi.

I'm glad you see that too.

Enlighten me, Johnny boy?

What was your guys plan here?

You two “Putzes” thought you were going to stiff me

to take my motherfucking money and run.

No, no, no. Mr. Scholarzzi. Absolutely not.

No, it's right “Patzo”.

Where's my fucking money.

Not on me.

Not yet.

Tonight, Johnny boy.

By midnight.

But... yeah.

Yeah. No problem.

I prefer yes as an answer.

Yes. Yes.

Absolutely.

Good boy.

Mr. Scholarzzi.

Maybe I bounce.

I will take care of you.

I will cherish you.

I will protect you.

You will never know want.

You will never know lack.

You will only know joy.

Ryan.

Ryan.

Ryan.

You're a million miles away.

I'm just thinking about the party.

Ten years.

Something to celebrate.

I just want it to be...

Perfect.

Yeah, like my life.

It will be fine.

You know, we were originally just going to do something casual,

like barbecue turkey burgers, tofu dogs for Moira.

Pasta salad with beans.

Margaritas...

The four food groups.

But it's our 10th anniversary and that's a big deal.

So John convinced me we needed to do something... special.

Special?!

You know, more grown up.

Grown up.

Copy that!

And there's a lot of work for you.

It's mostly handled.

And it's only our closest friends who are coming.

I just.

You thought about my offer? Let's keep that private-tape private!

You've got a ton of stuff to do.

Why don't you go on and get out of here?

I've got that open house this afternoon.

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

You've been totally useless all day.

I'm sorry I've been running late ever since I dropped Connor off

at his grandmother's.

Breathe.

That's your party.

Try to enjoy It.

It'll be fine.

I still wish you'd come back.

You know I hate talking to people.

Unless there is a commission in it for me.

You just don't like John.

It's not

John I dislike.

As much as his cash mortgage deals

he's making.

They make the feds nervous.

You're just jealous.

Uhmm