This Is Luna (No Mundo da Luna)

THIS IS LUNA

Luna!

Luna!

Luna!

My God, she is cursing me!

SIXTEEN HOURS AND A NEW SEXUAL PARTNER EARLIER

Luna?

Just one more paragraph.

After this story, everyone will turn vegan

and the planet will be safe.

Luna, wake up!

I'm just half a minute late

-and your head is already in the clouds. -I was writing. I'm so inspired.

Every old man with cataracts is a reader that print media loses.

Forever.

Sabrina, the world has changed, but the journalist's mission

of bringing truth to the world continues.

Then wake up, because in here, even truth is relative.

I hate job interviews.

Why would you want to be a journalist

when people prefer to believe Russian bots?

For the same reason you studied art

and ended up designing résumés.

That was low, but fair.

Wait, I'll use the restroom.

-Hello, I'm Luna. -Hi, wait a second, please.

EDITORIAL OFFICE

JOURNALISM BEHAVIOR

I have good and bad news.

I found him, the guy you have wet dreams about.

Brazil's cutest teenage model,

the guy you became a vegan for.

-Vini? -Yes!

I didn't become a vegan to impress him.

Right, you're not a vegan. I saw you licking butter off my knife.

-Turning vegan is more like a life goal. -Really? I'm going to ask Vini

if he agrees.

-It's alright, I have a boyfriend. -Right, you have Igor.

Luna, please wait here, someone will come for you.

Besides, Vini is a gypsy, so it's like dating a cousin.

-What's wrong with dating a cousin? -There's no time to explain.

Vini!

Little Luna!

My grandma told me I'd meet someone from the past.

Did she?

It isn't clairvoyance, she knows there aren't enough jobs

-for journalism students. -You're always skeptical.

Remember when I tried to flirt using the horoscope?

-You did what? -I can try again.

What do you think?

-It's so hot, isn't it? -You're just nervous.

I'm nervous too.

The new editor-in-chief got an Oscar nomination

for best short documentary, did you hear?

I saw better ones, and I watched everything

before I saw that Dante Montini did it.

I wish I saw it too, but they called me so suddenly.

They said they liked me and... It's the same old story, you know.

-They called you? -Because of my appearance.

-Being cute is so tough. -It is, actually.

Try finding a young model that is taken seriously.

Dante Montini. It's so fancy.

What does he look like?

In my mind, he has a rugged face

from the desert wind and the traumas of war.

-Did I tell you I became a vegan? -Vini?

Dante is dying to meet you. Would you come in?

Good luck.

-Luna? -Yes.

Come.

Be strong, alright?

Don't sit down yet. What's the earth's shape?

-Round. -Reptilians?

-Do not exist. -Vaccines?

-Are good. -Great, you can sit down.

Pleased to meet you, I'm Clarice, new editor of the Behavioral department,

and future savior of the JournAW's finances.

-Not all gypsies wear long skirts? -Did you watch my documentary?

I read the overview and it said that you're a gypsy.

-Forget that, I need a clairvoyant. -To interview?

No, for the new Behavioral department.

Your generation is desperate to find out who they'll fall in love with

before the climate catastrophe, everyone is hiring astrologers,

but I want to innovate with a gypsy horoscope.

I'm more interested in being a journalist

and researching the truth.

Honey, let me tell you something, nobody cares about the truth.

What about the journalism department?

They are desperate to hire someone with a lot of followers,

which is not your case.

-Yes, but... -My God, why won't HR let me hire

that German diviner?

Here's the deal, if the horoscope is successful enough,

I'll let you write some news stories too.

-Can I think about it? -You have 24 hours to decide.

You're lucky my daughter needs time

to answer my e-mail about cultural appropriation.

-You can go. -Bye.

-Hi. -Hi. Thank you.

I'm sorry, everything else had butter in it.

Well, if you ordered it, it's fine.

-So, did you get the job? -As a fortune teller.

-As a what? A fortune teller? -Yes, want to return the champagne?

No, we still have something to celebrate.

Did you find out how to save the giant anteater?

I always wanted to save the animal that needs me the most.

Doesn't the anteater need you?

Polar bears.

He needs me a lot more, so I'm moving to the North Pole.

Remember.

"Do everything you can to save the whole world."

-Remember? -How long will you stay there?

I'm not sure, but I'll spend one week

every year here.

You'll be my boyfriend for one week a year?

Well, we don't need labels.

You know?

It's like...

Let's get detached from these labels.

We'll be together once a year for a relationship we can't name?

Now that you mention it, maybe one week is too much.

I need to talk to the NGO, meet my family,

it's going to be a bit hectic,

but we can have one whole day for ourselves,

that's for sure.

I want to die!

Luna, what did Igor do?

Did he cheat on you?

-Did he say something about me? -No.

-He traded me for a polar bear. -Romantically?

-That's a crime! -Of course not, Sabrina.

He is going to the North Pole

to save the polar bears.

They still exist? I thought they all drowned, how cute.

-They can swim! -At least you got a job offer!

-As a fortune teller. -They left a door open for journalism.

No, they left the bathroom window open.

-You know the horoscope is stupid. -The horoscope isn't stupid.

Your grandma's cards are great.

They said it was going to be a bad day, and look.

Also, if you learned how to do it, I wouldn't have to call Mrs. Cecilia

-six times a day! -You call my grandma six times a day?

Once for the horoscope, twice for tasseography

and three to gossip.

If I ask her to teach me,

she'll repeat what she said when I asked for the love spell.

"You must study the culture first."

It's an opportunity for you to connect with your roots.

In the meantime, you can pretend.

-I can't pretend. -You can't?

Then how do you pretend to like that job with that couple of influencers?

I told them I was going to donate my kidney today

-and they weren't even suspicious. -Amazing.

Sabrina, give me back my phone!

-Luna, my God, how was the surgery? -You look good!

Was it Teca's surgeon?

No, she didn't do her breasts, that takes days,

she only removed her liver. You lost weight!

-Her liver? That doesn't sound right. -Luna, don't forget,

we'll do the food diary tomorrow. You need to remind me when to eat.

I need to go, something went wrong in the comment section.

This is worse than the horoscope.

I once made them use the word "concatenate".

I've improved the vocabulary of their two million followers.

-Did they use it in the right context? -No.

Luna, think about it.

If it's not you, it'll be the German diviner.

-That's it, you're taking this job. -Not without a fight.

-I'm going after Murilo, from ZEZ. -You're still stalking him?

I'm not stalking him, he's the editor-in-chief,

I just want him to feel embarrassed for not hiring me.

You know I always wanted to work at ZEZ.

-The JournAW is a bad imitation. -Come on, Luna.

If it doesn't work out, I'm taking the fortune teller job.

He'll go to the same event as Bia's team!

No, Luna, you know what Bia thinks when more than three people

are close enough to touch each other!

Bia!

-Bia! -Don't bother her,

she must be having a bad day.

It's a gallery. You could sell your art!

-In NFT? -That's where the money is.

You'd never have to make another curriculum again.

-Bia! -Bia!

Bia!

-We promise not to do it again. -Like you did last Tuesday?

-It was urgent. We had no internet. -And what happened now?