Graves

I'm not dead yet.

What a prick.

This is your new assistant, Isaiah Miller.

Hi.

There is a line, sir, that you cannot expect me to cross.

- - What is this?

- Peyote. - Oh, my God!

Until the day I die, I will be your president!

Vote Thomas Nash for Senate.

I'm gonna announce my Senate candidacy at RPAC.

- - You are what I want.

I'm pregnant.

- Hey, bro. -

I'm gonna come over there and beat the truth into you.

Your own half-hour show.

Unh!

Thanks for coming.

That's the furthest I've come for a second date, so...

- I could never be with someone like you. - Fuck you!

Martin Treadwell, the would-be assassin of former President Richard Graves,

has been granted a weekend furlough.

My very own cowboy, Richard Graves.

Jesus, kid.

If you're just joining us, we're waiting on news of Isaiah Miller,

the brave young man who underwent a four-hour surgery

after taking a bullet for former president Richard Graves

last night at the RPAC convention.

This is my fucking fault.

Don't say that.

Don't you be such a fuckin'...

I'm out of here, Maggie.

Richard.

God, look at you. My boy.

Oh, God. You should see it out there.

So many people, news people, right, all talking about you, Mr. Bigshot, huh?

My baby boy. Oh, my God.

Oh, and not for nothing. Get this.

They sent the President's plane for me.

Honey, there was leather seats, uh, free sandwiches.

I had, I can taste it now, the most beautiful pastrami on rye.

You would've died. It was cut thin, sliced thin. No fat.

You know what I'm saying? With a little bit of mustard, not too much,

'cause, you know...

...how I get the heartburn, right?

Baby?

Mom?

What the hell are you talking about?

["THE RUBBERBAND MAN" BY THE SPINNERS PLAYING]

- You need to get in here. - President Graves?

- [MAN NOW! -

- Hurry up! - President Graves? Sir...

Come on down to Girrardi's Mattresses, my fellow Americans.

Because if this Tempur-Pedic mattress is firm enough for New Mexico's favorite son,

it's firm enough for you.

- Love the flannel. - Oh. Hi.

Hi. Um, I'm Katie Farrell, Mrs. Graves' new communications director.

Oh, right. Yes, I heard she might be hiring someone new.

- I'm Isaiah Mill... - I know who you are, Isaiah.

I'm just gonna say it up front, what you did for President Graves, totally inspirational.

I see you two have met.

Katie Farrell is my new secret weapon.

She's gonna work with Lawrence and Annie.

Proudest moment of my life.

Margaret Graves, does she still have it?

Christopher Sachs, weigh in on this, please.

Well, Margaret Graves may win the primary, but she's gonna get absolutely slaughtered

in the general, and we can't afford to lose this seat to the Democrats.

Not to mention the fact that Richard Graves

has not attended a single rally with this woman.

This is just another vanity run by a former first lady and...

Well, we all know how that story ends, don't we?

Christopher Sachs, everybody. Thank you very much. Reporting live...

Come on. I'm gonna show her around.

I should probably just see, just in case if you need anything.

- - Olivia, darling?

God.

I just look fat, don't I?

Olivia, where is all your furniture?

Things make me sad.

What things?

All the things.

Olivia, this is Katie Farrell, sweetheart.

It's such an honor to meet you, Olivia?

You've been an inspiration to millions of young women, like me.

I don't mean to be rude, but go fuck yourself.

Livie! Please forgive Olivia.

She's going through some sort of pre-partem depression, which, I'm told, is not real.

OK, it is real, Katie, and it's getting realer.

- What's this? - A birth itinerary.

I had my team put it together. You have the best OB/GYN in the state.

This is the easiest birth one can have short of being unconscious.

Which we did check into.

It's not legal.

Please... leave.

Katie Farrell, this is Julia Martinez.

She's new to us, but has already proved herself to be invaluable.

She's a real pro. She worked for Bernie and Jane Sanders in Vermont. For how long?

Ten very long years, ma'am.

Poor thing.

So I've been meaning to ask, where is President Graves?

He's on sabbatical.

He's up at Donald Rumsfeld's hunting cabin.

I thought he'd be back last week, but he...

he decided to extend his stay.

Are you sure you're OK, Isaiah?

No, I'm good. I'm great, actually.

Well, that's a big, fat lie.

Hi, Mom.

My son is very upset.

I'm not upset, Ma.

Katie, this is Sylvia Miller, Isaiah's mother.

She's been staying with us during his recovery.

- How are you feeling? You're hot. - I'm not hot.

Mom, I don't have a fever.

Listen to me. Don't let him fool you, Mrs. Graves.

He has not heard from the President since he woke up from the hospital.

Not one call, since the hospital?

Look, guys, I'm fine, OK?

President Graves just wants to be alone, which is very understandable

after the year he's had.

I mean...

I'm sure he wanted to call.

["TOMORROW'S GONNA BE A BRIGHTER DAY" BY JIM CROCE PLAYING]

Shit.

Means a lot to me that you came.

Yeah, well, you know, "Get here or fucking die,"

was an invitation I just couldn't refuse, so...

Oh, hey, just a head's up, I've only got a couple hours before my show tapes.

Yeah, congrats. You made Malala cry.

Do not shit in my Froot Loops, Liv.

Things are moving very fast for me, I have a brand now.

OK? I am a brand.

Jesus, Jeremy, can you put that thing down for five minutes?

I get it, you're fascinating, but I'm literally sitting here, growing a human.

Hello there, folks.

Hey.

So let's get started, Miss Graves.

OK, OK, I'm here for you, right? Talk to me.

Well, besides the nausea, the bleeding gums, the acne, the super fun new facial hair,

I'm feeling totally fucking alone.

OK.

Not to mention, I saw this segment on The View

about the former First Daughters, you know, Amy, Chelsea, that bitch, Caroline Kennedy,

all of whom are doing frickin' amazing things for the world.

And me, it's like... I was intentionally excluded from that segment.

I mean, what am I doing for the world?

I'm living at home, I'm pregnant, which I obviously suck at.

Oh, let's not be so hard on yourself, all right?

I mean, think about how good you were at getting pregnant.

That's true.

There's baby.

And there is the heartbeat.

Look at that.

This is getting way too real.

My son is gonna be the first Jewish president.

Ta-dah!

- Ha! - That's very intense.

I did this myself, I had these made. Look, there's your name, baby.

OK, I really appreciate that, Mom,

but, you know, I just... it's a little much with everything.

Everything is set for you to go all the way,

just like you wanted, just like you planned, right?

OK, you know what, I think I just need a little air.

- What's the matter? You in pain? - No, I'll be right back, Ma.

No, I think you're overdoing it, - is what you're doing. - You stay right there.

Do you want some antacid? I've got antacid in my purse.

I'm begging you.