Bite Me

Is there something else I can get you?

Jalito burger with onion rings.

Like, to go?

No. Not to go, chunk. For here.

Right now. You got a problem with that?

Oh, and, uh, tell 'em not to make it too well-done,

I don't want the meat too dry.

Not too dry.

You got it, sir.

Oh, and throw in a side of chowder.

(unzips, urinates)

I.D.C.A.P.R.S.A.F.D.

What the fuck does that even mean?

I told you, Insurance Data Collection

And Photographic Reference Storage

And Filing Department. Why are you calling me at work?

- You better be leaving soon. - Uh...

I don't know, man, I am really backed up today.

Man, you better not fuckin' flake like last time.

It was 2 o'clock on a Wednesday.

I was at work with other grownups.

What's that supposed to mean?

You think you're better than me or something?

Yep. I gotta... I gotta go.

Michael... I've been looking at

your necrotizing fasciitis file.

Can you please check and see if the black,

tarry stool photo is the most recent that we have?

Ah, yes, sir.

You know, Michael, I think you have potential.

If you work hard, keep your head down,

in 10 or 15 years you could be making 30...

$32,000 a year.

Great.

It is great. Look at me...

I just bought me a new 3 Hyundai.

From the right angle,

almost looks like a Bentley, doesn't it?

For sure.

Yeah. Hmm.

Okay, back to work.

Hello.

Jeff told me to remind you about tonight.

Yeah, I'm there.

My magic tourney got moved anyway.

What?

- Hey, neighbor. - Hi. Thanks.

It's so weird. I just came from Fred's.

He's the best.

So, is this some sort of intern thing or...

do you get to go out in the field?

No, this is just temporary, hopefully.

I don't actually work for Fred.

I got a job at this marketing firm,

and he's a client.

Marketing, that's kind of sexy.

Yeah, it was my major.

Smart and good with his fingers.

What a mix.

Bye, sweetie.

Yeah, okay, then.

Back to work.

Hello?

Okay. Cool.

- Awesome. See you tonight. - (phone ringing)

Sorry. The... the phone's acting up.

No problem.

So...

how is it goin'?