Doom Patrol

- - Intruders detected.

Intruders detected.

Okay, you need to help me pick up this twat's scribblings

so that we can skedaddle.

Rita, I realize that you're having

some kind of a dis-associative episode right now,

but would you please re-associate and... and fucking help me?

Bendy, please!

Would the death squad report to cell block D?

Death squad to cell block D.

Death squad.

- Thank you. - Maybe we should.

Yeah, maybe.

But, how do we...

Oh, I've got it. I've got it.

Intruders detected.

- - Intruders detected.

Intruders detected.

Intruders detected.

Can't you move any faster? We're completely exposed here.

I'm a suitcase!

- Bloody ball sacks! We've got company. - Is it the death squad?

- - Shit! Shit! Shit!

Colonel Samsonite.

Intruders detected. Intruders detected.

Intruders detected.

So, how's that plan coming along, Clifford?

Got 'em right where I want 'em.

What are you guys even doing here?

How about a thanks for coming to help your captured asses?

Technically, we only came to get Jane's longevity back.

But we probably would've tried to help you. If there was time.

Right, sorry. Thanks for the help.

When did you plan on starting, by the way?

With the helping. Just wanna make sure I don't miss it.

Look, we're all stuck in here now.

Maybe instead of picking at each other,

we can try to be more solution oriented.

Find a way how to get outta here.

Who's got ideas?

You telling us how to do superhero shit?

You fucking Boy Scout.

- Don't fuck with our process. - Yeah.

Welcome to my world.

Ay, but let me know when you guys want a problem solved.

'Cause I have an idea.

What the fuck is that?

A rock.

- Oh yeah! Rock beats scissors, motherfuckers! - Nice!

Not bad, for a normie.

Told ya I had 'em right where i wanted 'em.

Let's go get my stolen longevity.

What about Larry?

Oh, right.

Ay, we got him.

Sweet.

Smell you fools later.

Oh, my God. My insides feel so weird.

Like my liver's where my lungs should be.

Did you move anything around when you were inside me?

We said we don't know that he's dead.

We don't know that he's not.

You know, when you kill a fly,

what do you see?

Bit of blood, some white goo.

Maybe a broken leg or two mixed in

with some crumpled wings that may never fly again.

Point is, is that if he, you know, he really had killed him,

then there'd be, you know, he'd have left something disgusting behind.

Like blood.

Feces, droplets of urine sort of thing.

You mean, like this?

Fuck.

Um...

You know what? We should just focus on something else.

Like this mountain of papers we brought back.

Maybe there's something in here that will tell us about this,

you know, Immortus fellow.

Um, we may have more immediate fish to fillet.

Gone to Orqwith for J's longevity.

And rescue Larry if there's time.

That's it. Larry's longevity, gone.

Well, we don't know that for sure.

It's Larry. Trust me, it's gone.

Cliff's officially the last longevital man standing.

Uh-uh. And he's just marched his metal tuchus into the lion's den.

We have to go after them.

- Does this note tell us how they got there? - No.

It's a stupid note. This is a stupid note.

Okay. Well, fine. Back to plan A.

We'll go through Wally's papers and, uh,

see if there's... there's a map or something.

Some kind of map that would give us, um, you know...

Best of luck to you.

Um, okay, where... where are you going?

Upstairs. To quietly expire.

Right. Well, you go enjoy your nap.

Whilst I look at this shite art. I mean, what the fuck?

Okay, I get we're looking for your longevity.

But what the fuck does your longevity even look like?

Fuck if I know.

What do you remember?

Purple.

Purple, wha... That's it? That's all you remember?

I was a fucking baby!

- Oh, shit. - And there it is.

How the fuck are we gonna get past these

beauty school dropouts?

Also, how do they dress themselves. Or pee?

What?

Hey! Edward Scissorfucks!

Listen up, fuckos!

Back away from the lava lamp.

Or I'll fuck the tinman's longevity into kingdom come.

- Tinman, really? - Shut up, R2-dipshit.

That's my girl.

No need for that, friend.

What the fuck?

You again?

I have something to offer you, Mr. Steele.

A world of possibilities.

Fuck's that supposed to mean?

It doesn't fucking matter because we're not fucking interested.

- Yeah. - So you can go fuck yourself into oblivion.

Fuck yeah!

Is that true, Cliff?

Are you not interested in seeing the limitless potentialities

that Immortus has to offer you?

- Mm. - A future, Cliff.

Which, from what I understand, you don't have much of at the moment.

Um...

Fucking A right, he's not interested. Tell 'em, Cliff.

- Err... - Cliff!

I mean, we could, just, you know, just listen to the guy, right?

What? What the fuck are you talking about?

Go on.

Hey, is that something?

I know that blue glow. That's Larry and Keeg.

So how do we get around those guys?

Man, I fucking hate those guys.

Can you drop some more boulders?

Nah, there's too many of 'em.

You wanna get to your boys,

we're gonna have to fight.

My arm cannon? Why'd you draw that?

Are you kidding me? 'Cause it's fucking dope.

Damn...

Here, you take it.

Thanks, but... I was thinking it might look pretty badass on you.

Really?

Yeah.

- - Oh my...

Yo, this does feel nice.

So what about you? What's your weapon of choice?

- - Go away!

Does go away mean something different in Scotland?

Yes, it means stop being a silly old sausage

and help me build an interdimensional portal to Orqwith.

I beg your pardon?

I found the schematics

in creepy Walt Disney's doodlings.

I also found the parts we need,

and a few we don't, if you know what I mean.

Now all I need is Y-O-U.

Which spells you.

It's always best to have a second set of eyes

when you're attempting to rip a hole into space time,

that's what I always say.

The thing is, as it turns out, I'm lousy at this superhero business.

And I'm far too busy feeling unmoored

and useless to build a portal today.

Oh, now, come on, Bendy. That's not how I see it.

You know, we would've never gotten into the Ant Farm

if it wasn't for you.

Where I proceeded to erase out of existence

our best bet at finding information

on Immortus and recapturing our longevity.

True. And we found a schematic, which will get us to the place

where Immortus is being raised, so we can find actual Immortus.

So let's get a-building, sister.

Whoa, there we go! And she's back. Elasti is back.

How could you let me go to the Ant Farm with you?

You insisted, remember?

But you're the leader. You should've exercised better leadership.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Have you any idea how upset I was

when Wally was smooshed out of existence?

You know, I was gonna rescue him

from the miserable life that I sentenced him to.

Are you telling me I've ruined your chance to redeem yourself

with the person you ordered to kill my lover?

Whoa there, Nelly.

Let's just press that cancel and continue button, shall we?

Because, you know what? You and I were good.

We were on the path to goodness.

Remember? Little girls, holding hands? Sweet as sugar pie?

Let's not let one little smooshy hiccup take us two steps back.

What do you say? You know, we could just take a deep, cleansing breath

and just, you know, release the tension.

I'm not feeling very in control of my emotions right now,