Cake

Come on, kid.Get out of here.

-Ice cream. -What?

-Ice cream. -No money, no ice cream.

-Come on, let's go. -Ice cream.

You're holding up the line.Let's go.

Ice cream!

We have an Australian teacher.

-Don't break your tailfin. Already broken, bitch.

-Is it "beach"? -Say "beach."

Beach. Already broken, beach.

Oh, well, okay. That was good.

This sucks.

I can't believeI won't see you guys

until after the holiday.

Oof, I know.

Um, I'm not gonna do anythingwithout you.

I'm gonna be alone,

and you're gonna makenew friends

and be all like,"Uh, who are you again?"

Oh, my God. Shut your stupid face.

Listen, I promise you nothing is gonna change.

-We're best friends. -Okay.

Don't break your tailfin.

Already broken, bitch.

- -What was that?

Bitch, I was like, "Hey," I was like,

"That is not Australian."

See you guys.Bye.

-Bye. -Bye.

Charlotte, look who it is.

-Oh, my God, Mia! - Mia!

Hey, how are you?

Oh, you look amazing.

You've changed so much over the summer.

Thanks.

It's great to see you guys too.

Guys, you'll never believe where I went yesterday.

Where'd you go?

-Well, basically-- -

Do you smell that?

Um, I'm not sure I smell anything--

Hey, guys, don't break your tailfin.

Already broken--

Smells likethe best smell ever.

-Uh... -Smells like...eat.

Oh, my God.

No!

I thought she was vegetarian.

[Jarina De Marco's "Identity Crisis"]

- -

Hope?

Hope?

Hope?

Hope?

So I said, "No, it is six inches."

You just have to measure it diagonally.

Wow, this isa really nice place.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, I share it with my roommate, my buddy Dan.

And where is Dan tonight?

Uh, well, it's Wednesday,

so he is probably somewhere in Canarsie chasing GILFs.

-Um... -Oh.

Can I get yousomething to drink?

Like, maybe a nice pilsner.

-Yeah, sounds good to me. -Great.

Here.Um, two pilsners coming up.

Sorry.Okay.

Here they are.

-Wham. -Mmm.

-Wham. -

-Here you are. -Thank you.

Of course.You're welcome.

To Tori Amos.

-To Tori Amos. -

Um...

I don't usually do this.

Aw, no.Are you an IPA girl?

-Come on. -Ha-ha.

No, no.

I mean I don't usually go on--you know,

go home with a guy on the first date.

Well, neither do I.

Um...girls, I mean.But, you know.

- Yeah. -Yeah.

Party Time. I wanna meet him.

Party Time!

-Party Time. -All right.

Party Time.

-Party Time. -Party Time.

Come here!

Hey, yeah, you found him.

-Hey, buddy. -

-He's so cute. -Yeah.

Oh, my God, he's so cute.

Oh, my God, wow.

You really area dog person, huh?

Oh, my God!

There was a period in my life, uh, where I did so much acid,

I got down on my knees one night,

and I-I prayed to the dude from the Ernestmovies.

I--like, I can't reconcile that that was me.

What accountants can say that they prayed to--to--to--

to Jim Varney?

I mean, other than Barry, the guy I work with.

That's why we connect.

Tree secrets.

Yeah, 35.

45, yeah, 50!

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

He is a rescue, right?

Oh, my God.Who do you think I am?

- -Pardon me.

How old is he?

Um...

huh.

You know, I don't know. I don't know.

I never, um... That's weird.

I guess I never asked when I got him.

How long have you had him?

How long have I--um...

In human years or dog years?

Oh, God, he's so handsome.

-Yeah. -Who's a good boy?

-Who's a good boy? -Uh-huh.

-It's Party Time. -Hmm.

Party Time is such a cute name.

How'd he get that name?

How did he get the name Party Time?

-Mm-hmm. -Yeah.

Um...

I don't know.

It's, uh, you know that song "Party Time."

You never heard--you nev--uh...

What about, um, the--that, uh...

uh, I-I just really like to party.

- -What?

Hey, are you okay?

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Nothing. No--

I'm sorry. It's just--it's...

It's all a lie.

Uh, sorry, it's just, it's all a big fat lie.

Wait, what's the lie, Jerome?

All of it.

Okay, calm down.

-Take a deep breath. -Yep, yeah.

Well...

it's a long story.

You know, it's a long story.

And I--don't--I totally get it

if you just wanna...

-Hey. -If you just wanna go.

No, I don't.

What I want is to hearthe story.

Well it's--well, it's all Dan's fault.

Um...

Man, this is incredible.

You're gonna be swimmingin hee-haw.

Yeah, and she said if my romantic future

doesn't improve significantly, I get my money back, dude.

Well, damn, son,

that's a great dealright there.

-Yeah. -Must have taken them forever

to get all this data.

No. No, dude.

I was only in there for about an hour.

I just don't understandhow she got this level of...

Holy ca-moly, is this she?