Alma & the Wolf

Help!

Search the trees!

Search everywhere!

Dispatch to Deputy Accord.

Deputy Accord. Come back.

Ren!

Ren!

Are you there?

Ren, do you read me?

Seriously, pick up.

Yeah. Go for Ren.

Yeah, we got a situation. Possible 12-28.

Send the new guy.

Got my son's game. He's pitching. I don't wanna be late.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were a sworn and deputized officer of the law.

My fuckin' mistake.

You got an address?

Buena Vista Dunes.

Down by the villas.

Possible weapons?

It's nothing.

Just pull yourself together and check it out.

Ma'am?

I need you to turn around!

Show me your hands!

Alma.

- I'm all sticky. - Yeah.

You get cleaned up

after we get through what we have to get through.

I preserve the... evidence.

There's... an examination.

So, look...

The first thing that I need to ask you...

Did...

Do you know your assailant?

I wasn't raped, dummy.

My dog was killed.

Do you wanna tell me what happened?

I got drunk.

That's what happened.

Yeah, I see that.

No, you'll think I'm crazy.

Try me.

A wolf and a bunch of goats

killed my dog.

Okay.

Yeah. I was out to the lake.

For a swim.

Like I do every day.

It's part of my program to

keep me from drinking.

Isn't that cold?

Yeah, if you're a pussy.

Me and Tig were walking

past the Buena Vista Beach.

- Villas or some shit. - Who's Tig?

Tigger, my fucking dog.

You're not very good at this.

Sorry.

Go on.

That's it.

Okay.

Well, if that's all you're gonna share

I think that I should tell you what this looks like.

You know, you caused quite a scene

walking in here, so...

What everyone is gonna say is that

"Alma's on another bender."

She went out with her dog off the leash.

And it ran away and got eaten by a cougar.

Can't even take care of a little dog.

There she goes again, all fucked up Alma

"being fucked up."

So...

You can let that be the story.

Or you can illuminate me.

Tell me what actually happened.

But that's up to you.

I got a game I need to get to.

Tigger and I were walking home, and...

There were these goats on the road.

And these goats, they

they made a circle around us.

And they were all jumpy and shit,

and weird, and then

there was this wolf.

And he's fucking huge.

So I'm really scared.

And Tig's just

pulling at the leash

trying to get at it, you know

'cause he's trying to protect me?

And then... and then I drop the leash.

I didn't mean to.

And I'm really sorry I did.

That dog loved me.

And I got him killed.

All that was left was just

a heap of blood and guts

and just his teeth.

Like he was smiling or something.

Like... like he was happy that he was gone.

I'm sorry.

My god, I'm such a mess.

I'm really sorry that happened.

I don't think there's anything that I can do about it. I...

Kill the wolf.

Oh, I... No, I can't do that.

- Yes, you can. - No, I can't. They're protected.

Killing a wolf is a Class C felony.

Well, I mean, it is the law.

I... I...

Do you remember me in high school?

- Yeah. - How I used to be?

Yeah. It's hard to forget.

Yeah, I was beautiful.

And I knew it.

And you playing that ball

with that arm of yours.

We were special.

You were special.

What happened?

Kill the wolf for me.

You promise?

I promise.

Jesus!

Don't worry. It's just me.

We got a situation.

Come on, I'm here to see my boy play.

Well, look at who showed up to protect and serve!

Shit! I feel safer already.

Protect and serve my left nut, Betty.

What did you say to my wife?

Watch out, criminal element.

It's Deputy Ren

armed with harsh language and balloon animals.

All right, gang. You know what?

I got a bag of dicks in the car

in case you wanted something other than vape pens to suck on.

What the fuck did you do to her?

Oh, it's nothing.

In high school

she told everyone I have herpes.

So I told everyone she gave it to me

and it just kinda escalated over the decades.

I don't have herpes, by the way.

Good to know.

What's the situation?

Possible 12-32 in progress.

- Really? - Yeah.

Hey! Sheriff's Department! Drop those beers!

- Put the beers down! - Get outta here now!

Put the beers down!

- Beers down! - Hands in the air!

Yeah, you better run!

Before I haul your ass off to the joint.

Justice served.

And so are we.

Check that out.

Holy shit.

Eighteen years, okay.

Where'd these little pimps steal that from?

Yeah. Welcome to Spiral Creek.

Nothing good ever comes from here, but

lucky for the wider world, nothing ever leaves either.

To Steelheads!

Let's go, boys!

All right, Jack, come on!

Stay focused!

Yeah!

You see that?

You know, when he was 14

he threw a two-seamer so hard

it knocked the webbing out of a new glove.

- True story. - Really?

You know where he gets it, right?

- No shit. - Oh, yeah.

No, I had my day.

I could strike you out right now if it wasn't for the old Tommy Johns.

It's true.

Come on, Jack!

Let's go, Jack!

Strike!

Good job, Jack!

Keep it up! Stay focused!

- Strike one! - Steelheads!

Steelheads!

Steelheads!

Steelheads!

Steelheads!

- Strike two! - Yeah!

Way to go, son!

Let's go, son!

Strike three!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Way to go, son! Yeah!

My boy!

Good job, Jack!

Good job!