Drop Dead Diva

See that aspiring model there?

That was me, Deb,

until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,

but there was a bit of a mix-up,

and I woke up in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane,

a super busy lawyer with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe,

and the only people who really know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy

and my guardian angel, Luke.

I used to think everything happened for a reason.

Whoo! (LAUGHS)

Now, I sure hope I was right.

* La, la, la, la-la-la-la

* La, La-la, La

Excuse me! Excuse me!

I'm trying to find my fiance, Owen French.

French, as in the language or the toast.

The paramedics said they brought him here.

I'm sorry, but...

He's dead?

No, ma'am. But I can't tell you where he is.

You know what? You listen here,

little Miss... Nurse Garcia,

I realize that I'm just his fiance

and not technically his wife

and, therefore, not his legal healthcare proxy.

But I am a very smart lawyer.

Some would say brilliant. Mmm-hmm.

And if you do not tell me where he is, I swear to God,

I will find a way to sue you and this hospital.

Are you done?

Yeah.

I can't tell you where he is

because Mr. French, as in the fries,

checked himself out.

What? Mmm-hmm.

Against doctor's orders, he took off.

Now, if you ever come in here

threatening me again or this hospital...

Okay. I apologize. I'm sorry.

See, my corset's really, really tight, and I can barely breathe.

We've got to find him.

He's not here. Damn it.

Owen always goes to his chambers when he's stressed.

Maybe he went to his apartment.

No, he gave it up. He was putting his stuff in storage

until we got back from the honeymoon.

Try calling him again.

Sweetie, he doesn't want to talk to me.

He's not taking my calls.

Jane, what the hell is going on?

Okay.

Um, you know how Owen... Passed out?

Yeah.

Well, that was after he walked in on me and Grayson...kissing.

Oh, my...Grayson.

See, Grayson came in to see what was taking me so long.

And, you know, we just started talking, and...

And he told me that he loved me.

And then...and then we...we kissed.

And I didn't mean for it to happen, you know?

But it's Grayson.

I opened my eyes, and... and...and Owen is there, and...

And I swear I felt his heart break.

I've got to find him,

and I have got to beg him to take me back.

Uh, what about Grayson?

I made a commitment to Owen. I love Owen.

Right. I know. And Matthew loved Lavinia,

but he still ended up with lady Mary.

What?

Downton Abbey.

Lavinia died of the Spanish flu,

and Matthew died at the end of season 3.

Owen is very much alive,

and I need to make things right with him.

Ladies.

Teri, how did you find us?

We've been texting.

What's going on?

Well, let's see.

I dismissed all your wedding guests.

I put your mother in a cab. I paid the band.

I got the drummer's phone number.

I boxed up all the catered food

and had it sent to a homeless shelter,

except for the wedding cake.

That's now at my apartment.

Raspberry glazed amaretto...

I couldn't just let it go, so don't judge.

Thank you.

But now I need you to come back to the office with me.

Teri, it is my wedding day,

so why in the world would I go to the office?

Because my mother's best friend's cousin really needs your help.

Okay, well, I'm really sorry to hear about

your mother's best friend's cousin,

but I'm kind of going through something right now.

Jane, sometimes, it's not all about you.

This is a matter of life and death.

Just take the meeting,

and if you don't want to help him, I will leave you alone.

But first, go home and change.

Kim. Hey.

Hi! Wow.

Did I take you from something?

Oh, nothing important.

Listen, I got your voicemail and email and text.

You want to tell me what's going on?

What I'm gonna say...

God, it's so embarrassing.

Wendy, you can tell me anything.

Hey, you've been my friend since high school.

You're the only one who knows

that my prom date was my first cousin.

Right.

He was kind of hot.

Yeah, I know. I tried to make out with him.

Honestly, whatever it is, I'm here for you.

Okay.

Mmm-mmm.

It's this site that displays naked photos of women,

emailed to the website by angry ex-boyfriends.

So, posting the photos are their form of revenge for being dumped?

That's the idea.

Ew. I know.

So, last year, I started dating this guy, Alex Gray,

and a few months in, he goes out of town,

asks me to take a few photos of myself

and text them to him because he missed me.

Why do we do these things?

So, last month, we broke up,

and this morning, I get a call from a co-worker,

telling me to check out the website.

And that's when I saw my full-frontal photos.

Well, have you asked Alex to take them down?

He's ignoring my calls.

Yeah?

Well, he won't be able to ignore me.

Your son is adorable.

Is this a custody dispute?

Uh, no, Ms. Bingum.

My wife passed away a few years ago.

Oh. Michael is sick.

He was diagnosed with Cutaneous T-cell lymphoma last December.

I'm sorry.

Usually, it's treated with chemotherapy drugs,

and they work in about 50% of the patients,

but they didn't help Michael.

Now, fortunately, Whiting Pharmaceuticals

developed a process called photopheresis,

which radiates the white blood cells with UV light.

And does that work?

Oh, it's like a miracle.

Uh, Michael was part of their trial program,

and as long as he received treatment once a week,

he was symptom-free.

But last month, Whiting abruptly ended the trial.

No explanation.

And now my son is in the hospital,

and if he does not resume treatment, he will die.

Mr. Jacobs, you probably don't want to hear this, but...

Yeah, the pharmaceutical company can terminate the trial

at any time for any reason.

Yes.

I've been to other lawyers.

No one will take my case.

Please...please help my son.

Teri, call Judge Sanders,

ask her to meet me for martinis at 42 degrees in an hour.

Jane Bingum, a boy's life is in your hands,

and you're going for cocktails?

Teri, I need a judge to sign an ex parte application

for a temporary restraining order

to block Whiting Pharmaceuticals

from terminating the trial program,

and Judge Sanders never turns down a happy hour.

I'm on it. Thank you.

Jane.

Luke.

Well, I have some bad news for you.

Yeah, I destroyed my wedding,

and my fiance is missing. I'm up to speed.

Jane pressed the return button.

What? What are you talking about?

Old Jane has been watching you from up there,

and she hasn't been happy.

So, wait. Old Jane, the real Jane is...is down here?

That's not all.

What else could there possibly be?

There's a chance, her soul went into Owen's body,

and that's why he disappeared.

So old Jane's soul went into Owen's body.

Are you kidding me?

Nothing's confirmed.

But Owen passed out, maybe flat-lined.

Around the same time Jane pressed the return button,