Starstruck

[The Association's "Never My Love"]

- Oh, should we get married? - No.

No, no, no. No, no, we--no.

So loud.

Oh, shit, sorry.

Hello, darling.

- If I killed someone, would you hide the body?

- You've already asked me this one.

No, but you see--it's fine.

- Also, I'd have to turn you in.

- No! - Yeah.

- Hi! - Hi!

Oh! No!

Ow! Just kidding.

Hang on! Don't fall.

Tom!

- - So loud.

Remind me never to have kids?

What?

Hey, it's Jessie.

Please don't leave a message because I never check them.

Thanks.

- Hey, it's Tom. Leave a message.

I just don't understand why you wouldn't at least try--

- Lovely, ladies! Keep those smiles on!

They look beautiful!

- Can I get behind? I want to cover it up.

I d--I don't think that would work.

Please.

Looking at me! There we go.

- The most beautiful woman in the world.

And Jessie.

- So I have something to tell you.

- I already know the baby's mine.

- Tom's coming to the reception.

What?

- I didn't want to tell you in case you ruined the wedding.

- I would never ruin your wedding.

- Uh, you were 20 minutes late this morning.

Yeah, because I was tired.

- Okay, last one. Big smiles, ladies!

- Look, Tom is Ian's friend. I'm married to Ian.

Be a grown-up. - I am a grown-up.

- Great, that's amazing. - Yeah, well, great.

Awesome, we're both grown-ups. - Okay.

I'm so happy!

Happy!

- Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we're done. - Okay.

- Yeah, I just don't like being told what to wear,

where to go, when to eat.

How are you a bridesmaid?

She was one of mine.

- What, like a prisoner exchange?

- Yeah. - Do you think people

will laugh if I call Kate a bitch

but in, like, a funny way?

Let me see.

- Jessie! - Hello, you!

Ooh! - What do you want?

Can I have some water?

- You can't say this word. - What?

- It doesn't make sense in your accent.

I don't think you understand how thick it is.

Most of the time, I'm just connecting the dots

when you say things.

- Can we go home? - Not yet.

Why don't you go play hide and seek with your dad?

Love you.

Love you too!

Daddy!

- Oh, shit.

- Don't look up. - What?

- Don't look up. - Oh, my--ow! What?

- Do you think he brought his girlfriend?

- Are they still together? - Uh, yeah, they are.

- God, what a power couple. - Yeah, she's so hot.

No offense.

Stop making it weird.

I'm gonna wave.

- No, don't wave. - Don't--don't wave.

Hmm.

- You're a fucking psycho. - Yeah.

Tom! Tom!

Best day of my life.

- Hey, I'm so sorry I missed the ceremony.

- No, no, no, no, it's fine, you know?

Pity you weren't there to pull focus.

Now, look, if anyone tries to bother you, let me know.

Oh, don't be silly.

Although my Aunt Bernadette

would love to meet you.

- Right. Okay. Yeah. - Yeah?

Be, like, 25 minutes tops, honestly.

She fancies you so much. - All right.

- Thank you so much. Bernadette!

He said yes!

Dream come true!

- I think that's sort of funny. - I--I think it's sad.

- Really? - Yeah.

I think people won't like it. - Thank you.

- Sorry, sorry, that's actually for me.

- What are you doing? - I have a wife to think about.

Oh, my God.

Hello.

- Hey. - Hey!

- Hey. - How are you?

Yeah.

- Wow. - You look--oh.

- Are you--sorry, could I get two of the--

do you want another-- - No, no, no. I'm--I'm good.

Yeah. - Great. Um.

How you been?

- Yeah, really good. You? - Awesome.

- How's the speech? Are you gonna go for--

- No, no, not a-- I'm not professional like you.

- - So.

No, I'll, um, be sticking to the notes and...

Nice.

Clem's not here.

- Uh, she's at a shoot. - Right. Yeah.

It'd be so good to meet her.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Like, yeah.

She's so good in all the movies she's in.

Oh, thanks, yeah. Um.

Another time. - Another time.

- Yeah. - Definitely.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

I've gotta get these to Ian. - Yes.

- It's great to see you. - Great to see you.

Good to see you.

And then he said,

"I've never seen such an ugly baby!"

But really, it's nothing less than a privilege

to have you all here for the weaving together

of our two families.

Who knew it would only take Kate

getting knocked up to do it?

- He'd already proposed before the baby,

so that doesn't make any sense.

Sure, darling.

Okay, so I have an email

from this venue from a year ago.

I just need to find my phone. Where's my phone?

- We'll show them later.

We'll show them-- - Thank you very much!

See you on the dance floor!

all: Cheers!

- That was just his nickname in school.

I'm kidding. Okay, I'm just kidding.

No, but, you know, seriously, he truly is the greatest.

Yeah, Kate, you've got yourself

some A-plus stock there.

Even though, no doubt, it's probably been collateralized!

Try and tell that to a bank.

No Clem.

I would have loved to have met her 'cause she's so--

she's beautiful.

She's--yeah. Ugh.

Such a shame Clem couldn't make it, right?

You're just--I just--

We should all hang out...

at some point.

No, we shouldn't.

- "We'll be friends forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.

"Even longer," said Pooh.

"For a day without a friend is like a pot of honey

without a drop left inside."

I love you guys.

Thank you.