The Bombshell Butcher

Hey, there she is.

Sorry I'm late. It's been a day.

What happened, Kara?

I got her into the restroom.

Um, hello?

Hello? Can I help you?

Do you need toilet paper or something?

What the fuck is wrong with

you, ma'am? Please go away.

What is your problem?

So, what's on the

candy's corner docket today?

Ooh, today we have sexy bedroom secrets

every man should know.

Sounds terrible. When

did we become Cosmo?

Hey Candy, make sure you get that article

about the new gas

stationing opening on my desk today.

You got it.

Hey, big news. We have a gas station

opening up. Lord help me.

At least you got the sex secrets thing.

Yeah, maybe it'll help some of the loser

men in this town figure

out how to please a woman.

Can't be that hard.

So, what's going on

in the world of sports?

Oh, the Elk Lodge is having its annual

Senior Citizen Charity softball

tournament on Saturday and Sunday.

That sounds like a great story.

Yeah, Ed's making me go.

You want to come with me for moral

support? Could be fine.

I would rather burn my

eyes out with a curling iron.

No offense.

Then take it. So, what

are you doing this weekend?

My friend Brooke's coming

into town for a couple of days.

Oh, you're hotshot

writer friend from New York?

Yeah, she's the best.

You should ask her to

get you a job in New York.

You have the talent. Plus, if the paper

thing doesn't work out, you

can always get into modeling.

I've thought about it, but I don't know.

I don't want to take any shortcuts.

It's worth a shot. Better than wasting

away in this hellhole.

And if you ever need any

help, you can always call me.

I'm sure she'll try to get me to go up

there with her. She always does.

I'm not sure.

I just know that you can do much better

than this place. You deserve it.

Candace, you're good enough.

Thanks, Jeff. I

appreciate that. See you tomorrow.

What a bunch of bullshit.

Hey, girl.

Hey, girl. What's new in Snoozefill?

Well, we have a new gas station opening

up this week, so now we have two.

Oh my god. I'm so glad I got out of

there. If I had to write one more article

on the local pig farm,

I was going to death.

I feel that.

What time did you say

your flight lands tomorrow?

4.15, as long as it's not too late.

Okay, I'll be there at 4. I

guess. Call me when you land.

Will do. I'm headed to bed, so I just

wanted to make sure that I wasn't going

to be stranded at the

airport or anything.

No. I got you, girl.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye!

Son of a bitch!

Morning.

It sure is.

Did you get that sex

article written last night?

It's too early for this shit, Jeff. I

don't want to talk about it.

Well, inquiring minds

want to know, you know.

Inquiring minds can shut the

fuck up till I've had my coffee.

Damn. Okay.

Let's get this shit over with.

Oh, hey. What's up, boss man?

Hey, can I talk to you for

a sec, Jeff? In my office?

Oh, uh, yeah. Sure.

What was that about?

Nothing good.

Well, what?

Apparently the, uh,

paper isn't doing so well.

Subscriptions are at

an all-time low, and...

There's just not enough

exciting news to report on. So...

So what?

Well, Candi, it's...

It's Candis.

Candis? If things don't start picking up,

or if we can't figure out something to

really hook people in,

I'm gonna have to let one of you go.

I like you, Candi.

Your work is solid, but...

But it's me that's getting canned after

six years of working my ass off?

Well, let's just see what happens.

We still have two weeks to put a plan

together before I

have to make a decision.

Okay, Ed. I'll get

you your fucking story.

And don't forget I'm leaving early today

to get my friend from the airport.

Noted. Enjoy your weekend, Candi.

Hi!

I missed you!

I missed you!

So, first things first.

What are we doing this weekend?

I'm sure things have gotten just a little

bit more exciting since I left.

Exciting?

Come on, I'm only here for three days. So

we have to make the best of it.

I'm thinking we go to

Jimmy's, get some drinks.

Ooh, you can wear that cute little dress

that I got you for your birthday.

Maybe get some attention.

I have no problem

attracting attention, Brooke.

Fine

Fine

So, what's new with you?

Anything new with work?

Oh, yeah. Um, I might be losing my job.

What? Why?

Ed is giving me two weeks to find

something or someone

that gets us more readers.

Candice, move to New York with me.

Please, I can get you a job where I work

and you'd start from the ground level,

but you can work your way up fast.

You're wasting your talents in this

bullshit town, and

plus you'd love New York.

Don't do this.

Do what?

Try to get me to go up there with you.

Listen, I just... You have nothing here.

No family, no man,

and certainly no future.

Wow. Thanks for rubbing it in.

I'm not saying this to be mean. I just...

I'm asking what's keeping you here.

I'm fucking scared, Brooke.

Scared of what?

I'm scared of fucking it

up. It's fucking terrifying.

What if I get trapped in

a big city with no job?

First of all, I know you, and you're not

gonna fail, because you're gonna work

your ass off to get what you want.

Second of all, I won't

let you. I've got you.

Not even you can help me with that.

Alright, you know what? Enough of this.

Get your shit and we're going out.

Okay?

Shit. I forgot my phone at the

restaurant. I'm gonna go get it.

Okay. Alright, I'm gonna go in and get us

some seats, so text me when you get here.

Okay. I'll be back soon.

Can I get you a pretty lady?

Hi. Can I get a screwdriver?

Sure thing.

You guys pour a little

heavy in here. This is good.