Death PhD

Tag.

You're it.

Dr. Van Buren, you wanted to see me?

Yes.

Dr. Sanchez, have a seat.

I have some amazing news.

And I would love to hear it,

but can we reschedule?

I have class in less than an hour,

and tardiness goes against everything

that I will believe in.

Yes, I'm aware.

But this is about your class.

You see, we have been approved entry

back into the Sugar Land House.

Namaste.

Namaste.

I don't know how you smoke first thing in the morning.

Mm, I dunno how you don't smoke.

I can't figure out how you are in the top of the class

yet you purposefully fry your brain cells daily.

I can't understand how you in the top the class

and you don't fry your brain cells daily.

I'm just trying to...

Wait, are you just gonna keep repeating everything I say?

I mean, really, I'm just trying to...

You asked a new question?

My bad.

I go on autopilot with you.

Sometimes, um, you say the same thing over and over again.

Hey, be nice.

That was the nicest version I could come up with.

No, but seriously,

congrats on graduating number two in the class.

It was a fight to the finish.

Your mom would have been proud.

Thanks.

All I wanna do is make her proud.

It's been three years since she's been gone.

It's crazy.

It's crazy.

Anyway, I would say congrats

for being number one in the class,

but it ain't over yet and I'm coming for your spot.

Uh, I wouldn't it expect it any other way.

We gonna fight to the finish.

Indeed we will.

Ooh, perfect timing.

- Oh yeah. - What do you say

we drop off these mats,

grab a cup of coffee, and head on over?

Mm, I say we drop off these mats,

go grab a coffee,

you finally hit the blunt,

and we had on over.

Mm, I couldn't.

I couldn't.

You can and you should.

Sorry, I can't.

Ken

Girl, don't you run for me, Keni!

Has President Obama taught us nothing?

Yes you can!

This girl got me out here

running first thing in the morning.

See, this is why I need to smoke.

This why I started my with a smoke, exactly like this.

This is exactly why I smoke in the morning!

I'm so excited that we get to extend

this opportunity to our students.

Hmm.

Yes, it is a rare experience

indeed.

Most don't get the honor to partake in it.

Now, I have spoken to the powers that be

And who are they?

Nevermind that.

Oh, I don't mean to offend.

It's just that it's a new opportunity for me as well,

and I wanna make sure that I have all the information

that I can have for our PhD students.

I have all the information that you will need

inside of this paperwork.

Review it before class

and consider yourself informed.

Oh, yes sir.

Thank you, Dr. Van Buren.

Have a good day.

Tranquilo, ladies.

Let Kenidi handle this.

Oh, shit, man.

It's Jontaye.

What's up, Jontaye.

Uh, you know, we're still kind of busy.

Busy flunking out.

Look at this.

Y'all are never ready.

Ladies!

I know you had a dope time last night,

but it's officially over.

Get out.

All right, man, we heard you.

And don't be feeling on my girl.

Oh, so now she your girl?

Don't worry about it.

You know the truth.

He's right, though.

We need to get up.

Come on, baby girl.

You too.

Get up, get up.

How you lose a shoe, girl?

You party, party.

Look, you cute.

Call me.

- Bro. - What?

You ready for today?

Come on.

Look at Kenidi.

I'm always ready.

Kenidi, get your ass up!

And put the bottle down!

Come on, man, let's go.

No, th

No, no.

Quan, you have to get dressed.

We're gonna be late!

It is literally 8:15.

All I gotta do is throw my sweats and shirt and we can go.

Unless

you wanna mess this bed up again.

No!

We don't have time,

and she already don't like me.

Who, JT?

Who don't like you?

You know who.

She always got something to say.

"Jordan Ty, have you completed your assignment?"

Jordan Ty, these are not the correct forms.

Jordan Ty, you have to remember to stay on course.

Jordan Ty!" - JT, JT.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay. Look.

Have you ever thought that maybe she's just trying to ensure

that you're the best that you can be?

First of all,

it seems that you're standing on the wrong side of history,

because is it me or are you taking her side?

Second, how do you figure she knows anything about me?

You know,

I think I may wanna change my shirt, actually.

Why?

Who you trying to get cute for?

I'm standing right here.

Oh, boy.

It better not be Morgan.

Ooh, you are pushing all the wrong buttons today.

Well, I was trying to push the right buttons,

but you're focused on the wrong thing as usual.

Quan!

All right.

Let's just go

'cause I don't think I'm gonna win today.

Come on.

You've already won.

I am standing right here.

- Crazy. - I swear.

She's a little crazy.

- She's crazy. - She doesn't let anybody in

past nice o'clock.

She is a freaking psycho, okay?

Girl, well,

thank you so much for breakfast this morning.

You are a lifesaver.

Now you know better.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

- Yeah. - I just gotta be ready.

I gotta be ready for you.

I gotta be ready for the foolishness.

I gotta be ready for this professor.

I just got to be ready.

Me? Wait a minute.

What do I got to do with it?

Well, it's not you, really.

It's JT who gets on my nerves.

She's always coming for you

and then you just sit back and take it,

so I'll be ready.

Listen, God told me you gotta give grace

to those who need it the most.

And, honey, she needs it the most,

she needs it the most.

Girl, you ought a bust JT's head open

and think about heaven later.

"The Color Purple," though?

Girl.

Aunty, when it fits, it fits.

"The Color Purple" will get you through something.