The Kardashians

Previously on The Kardashians.

So, I decided I'm gonna do Ryan Murphy's show

called American Horror Story.

I think it's just fun to try something new.

Every year I was gonna try to do something that was a challenge.

What, like it's hard?

ANNOUNCER (OVER SPEAKERS): Please welcome Kim Kardashian.

I'm in Miami right now.

I have to go to Milan with Dolce & Gabbana.

I was just in Paris and London.

Arsenal!

I know I'm supposed to slow down...

Kim, please. Look at me one second.

...but I can't.

Tristan, is he still with you?

No, he has moved into his home.

I feel like we all, like, brush it off.

I just can't do it anymore.

- Happy Good Friday. - Hi.

Tristan has made horrible decisions

and choices with my sister.

- Tristan's hoping I'm gonna forget. - No, never forget.

You continue to work on yourself and keep chippin' away.

I wish I could work on forgetting things.

I just can't anymore.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN BARKER: Hi.

Hey, you.

- Hey, Mom! Hi!

I will never... I don't think I'll ever

- fit in your clothes again. Why?

Happy birthday, honey.

Thank you, Mom.

I am turning 44.

- This is my bowling outfit. You look so cute.

The 40s are the best, honestly.

So many amazing things have happened to me in my 40s

and I feel truly grateful.

KHLOÉ KARDASHIAN: Happy birthday, Kourtney.

Okay. Do you want a photo with me?

I wanna, uh, label this "Filthy rich cattle tribe".

Okay, nice.

I can't wait 'til Khloé can... join me in the 40s next year.

Should we, like, do something vibeyer?

Don't drop me.

KHLOÉ: Why?

- Hi, birthday girl. Guys, hi.

Sainty, are you gonna say hi to Koko?

KHLOÉ: Hi, guys.

Hi. Hi. Happy birthday.

- Thank you. - You have to look at my card.

It's very great.

- Oh, my gosh. - Will you open it?

Yes.

"I'm proud to call you my sister.

"Hopefully, this makes up for

all the other things I've called you."

The card doesn't matter. But just this part, guys.

Is this not so fitting or what?

It is. - I wasn't sure if she'd be mad

- at me for this card. - No.

One of my obsessions is looking for funny cards online.

This one was made

- for me and Kourtney. Yeah. - For us.

We all used to say the meanest things.

I used to have no feelings.

All I would say is like,

"You're so (BLEEP) cellulitey," and...

But, like, in high school, she'd be like,

"Ew, my sister has big, saggy tits;

you would hate her."

And, like, guys at school that I would li...

at, like, a party and I'd literally walk away crying

and be like, "Bye, guys."

Well, I'm sorry for the past. (CHUCKLES)

Thank you.

KHLOÉ: The little ball sucks.

- Hi. - Hi, baby.

You guys, I got Armenian food.

- You look beautiful, babe. - Thank you, babe.

Veronique got me this crown when I walked in.

You deserve it.

- I agree. - The birthday girl.

I kinda got talked into doing a big party.

My usual vibe for every birthday is Disneyland

or going on a trip so that I'm out of town.

And I went to Santa Barbara with Travis.

That was, like, all I needed. I was like, "I'm done."

Hey, happy birthday. How are you?

- Hi! - How are you?

How are you? I have the birthday girl crown.

- Thank you. Hey. (INDISTINCT).

Thank you. I was... I'm, like, over it already.

It was fun.

But I'm never gonna have

a birthday party again (CHUCKLES)

- because, like... - I get it. I know.

...I didn't even bowl, I didn't play one arcade game.

It's like hosting things at your house.

-That's what it's like. You just have to -Yeah.

stand there and say hi to everyone.

- It's, like... - It's draining.

...draining.

- Oh, my gosh! - Whoa!

Aww.

Mom, can you break the fire

by burping on it?

Get in here.

Tonight is just about getting to celebrate my birthday

with my family, my closest friends.

I feel amazing.

Forty-four, like, it's just a number.

Looks good.

I just got my first script. I'm gonna show you what scene.

So, are you excited, are you nervous?

I am really excited.

I mean, I... Do you know what your character is like?

- Mm-hm. - What made you decide to do this?

- I wanted to try something new. - That's so cool.

I've literally traveled from Japan to Paris to London

to Palm Springs to Northern California,

like, all over the place.

And now I have to go to New York

for American Horror Story.

There's so much going on.

I know when I was in Cabo

I said that I wasn't gonna fill every space

and I just wanted there to have some time for me to do nothing.

So, my intentions for the year,

- can I tell you what they are? - Please.

To not feel like I have to fill every available hour.

That's a great intention.

And that clearly hasn't worked out.

But why can't I just be

in law school, and be an actress,

and be a (BLEEP) minister?

Why can't I do it all?

Ya know, it's, like, do whatever you wanna do.

And am I bothering anyone? No.

Let's see. What is my name?

I just wanna make sure that I'm prepared.

I have a lotta lines. It's a lotta, lotta work.

- Start it up. You want me to play someone? - Hold on.

"Siobhan turns Anna around to look at herself

- on the floor-length mirror." - Turns her around? Yeah, baby.

- "She looks absolutely amazing." - Ooh.

"Look at this woman.

Do you seriously think anyone

is gonna try to (BLEEP) with her?"

- Uh-uh. - Mm-mm.

Scott will always lighten the mood and just have fun with it,

which will, I think, kind of, like, ease my mind

at least until I get to New York

and realize this is happening, this is real.

How long is this taking?

- Two... Three episodes a week. - For three months?

- For four months. - Wow.

Who's on this show?

- Emma Roberts. - Oh, yeah.

So, she's gotta be Anna.

Do you know where you're filming?

Probably in Jersey.

I wanna go on set and watch you.

I like my character. I'm this publicist.

She's an "I don't give a " kinda girl.

She just has, like, no emotion.

I'm channeling Tracy and Kourtney in my head.

Ooh, she killed someone.

"No, but I (BLEEP) your uncle Eugene

- (LAUGHING) to get this job." Oh, my God.

That's what it says.

I just have to get it together.

All these people were, like, speaking out like,

"You should give the role to Salma Hayek."

"Why don't you give a real actress a job?"

And I said to her like, "Oh, my God,

what did I get myself into? I feel bad."

And she's like, "Do not feel bad.

"Maybe this whole road has led you here

'cause you are supposed to be an actress

and this is your real career."

And I'm like, "You are right, Salma Hayek."

And I was like, "Can we play sisters in something?"

"'Cause you are my idol."

I'm down to get a place

for you in New York and split it.

And when I say "split it",

you pay 90% and I pay 10?

- Like... - I'm just making sure that it's, like,

a private entrance and exit and all that.

And the thing is townhouses are kind of on the street,

but if you're gonna have security at night, who cares?

Well, what if I wanna, like, sneak around town?