Ghosts

What's going on here?

Well, we are scouring photos of Nancy's ancestral home

in the hopes of finding the portrait featuring

the necklace that proves that Nancy is the lost princess.

And if we can prove that,

Woodstone shall gain landmark status

and be spared from demolition

by the rapacious water company Ever Creek.

Man, how long was I watching that caterpillar eat that leaf?

Yep, those are my old digs.

You see that window? That was my bedroom,

and that window was my second bedroom.

And there's my cake room

where I stored and ate my cakes.

You lived in a castle filled with cakes, and you ran away?

Mistakes were made, Pete.

Who told you to die wearing those shorts, huh?

Nobody's perfect.

Damn it, no one

will pick up the phone at that damn castle.

I don't understand, isn't it like a tourist attraction now?

Can't you book tours there?

Well, the website says they do tours, but it also says

"Come celebrate the millennium with us,"

so I'm not sure how frequently they update it.

Somebody must be working there.

I mean, there's recent Yelp reviews.

Dorothy M. raves about the clean bathrooms.

Oh, now, that is

a welcome change from my day.

All that cake had to go somewhere.

Okay, so no one's picking up the phone.

Samantha, have you tried sending a telegram?

Or why not a carrier pigeon?

Over the Atlantic?

You'd send that bird to a watery grave.

I've sent several emails.

-No one will write back. -(sighs)

Look, we have less than 72 hours to find that portrait

of Fancy Nancy wearing that necklace.

It sounds extreme, but I think we may have to go to England.

-I think you might be right. Oh,

might be advantageous to have Peter join.

He's proven valuable to have on trips before.

Oh, let me, let me check my schedule.

-Available. Great.

-Pete's gonna join. -A little Thanksgiving redo.

: British style.

Jay, we should leave for the airport!

Okay, so, once again, an elevator is called a lift,

an apartment is a flat,

and a cigarette-- now, this one's weird...

Okay, Pete, I don't think that's going

to come up a lot, but thanks for your help.

-(chuckles) Hey, while you guys

are over there, can you pop over

and check in on my daughter?

And by "check in,"

I mean "keep any creepy French guys

and their baguettes away from her,"

if you know what I mean.

Thor get innuendo big-time.

I suppose, once we have the proof we need,

we could pop to "Paree" for a quick visite.

Ooh, no can do, Sammy.

I mean, Europe's no hop, skip.

I-I don't want to press my luck with my ghost powers.

I can't make a bunch of side trips while we're there,

or else my baguette will start to disappear.

Once again, Thor grasp.

This guy, keeping up.

Plus we got a big day coming up when Pete returns--

the one-year anniversary of when we started dating.

Our first non-facepalm kiss.

It's a good lesson for the kids out there--

if you try to kiss someone and they resist, just keep trying.

I'm not sure that's the takeaway.

-(phone buzzing, ringing) -Huh.

Paula?

Ooh, the Hollywood producer? Get it, Sam.

Hello.

What the hell? Did you call me?

No, uh, I think you called me.

-This is a hot start. -I was trying to copy

your email.

They put the damn video button so close.

Why do they do that?

Anyway, I have news.

It's about your movie script Polar Opposites.

Oh, if I had known this was a video call,

I would have encouraged a wardrobe change,

but you're doing great.

I showed it to the studio, they loved it.

Oh, my God, really?

Ooh, does that mean they're going to buy it?

Hey, Paula, I just got here.

Hey, Jay.

No, they're not buying it yet,

but they want to continue the conversation.

Oh, we gonna be so rich.

Aquarium wall, here we come.

The studio wants a franchise.

I won't bore you with the details,

but basically, they want to know what the next two films

in the P.O. trilogy are going to be.

I can start putting together some ideas.

Uh, but can it wait till next week?

I've got sort of a big couple of days.

No, we need to get on a Zoom this weekend.

There was an incident on the set of Christmas in Cabo.

Turns out, Mario Lopez does not work with dolphins.

Anyway, they're looking to fast-track

its replacement, so can you do it or not?

Don't worry about England, babe.

I'll go. You got this.

-I'll get to noodling, Paula. -Great.

Thanks, Sam.

All right, Pete, looks like it's you and me, buddy.

Let's ride.

-How's this going to work? Didn't Jay almost

kill Pete on a trip to the market?

We'll call Kyle.

Now, if you'll follow me,

I'll give you a tour of the dungeon.

Hey, hang back a sec.

Man, what a tour.

I can't believe I didn't know the difference

between a longsword and a broadsword.

I mean, it's negligible but interesting.

Have you seen Nancy's painting? 'Cause I'm starting to realize

I don't know what she looks like. (chuckles)

-Kyle, focus. -(snaps fingers)

Oh, sorry, I just flew to England at the drop of a hat

to help you, so excuse me if I need to move a teeth cleaning.

Look at this suit of armor.

How you doing there, tin can?

Not so great, to be honest.

-Oh. -I've got this very specific itch

that I haven't been able to scratch for 600 years now.

Whoa, Jay, there's a suit of armor ghost.

Seriously? That is so damn cool.

How did he die?

Was it jousting or, like, fighting a dragon?

Sadly, no.

As soon as I got all this stuff on,

I was leaning over to scratch me bum,

lost me balance, and... fell down the stairs.

It was a noble death.

Hey, guys, um, here in England

we all like to stick together on a tour,

so if you could kindly follow. Yeah?

-Yeah, that would be brill. You know, we were

kinda interested in seeing some old portraits.

Would that be part of the tour?

Oh, sorry.

There was a big fire in the '70s.

The lady of the house left an unattended crumpet

in the toaster.

All the tapestries and portraiture were lost.

Anyway, please follow me to the dungeon.

Uh, actually, I think we were just here to see the paintings,

so we're probably going to head out.

Suit yourself,

but for five quid, you can take your picture on the rack.

I mean, the painting thing is obviously a setback,

but take it from a guy who's been

to his share of Ren faires--

you're not gonna find a better rack price than that.

We need that Nancy painting.

This is a disaster.

What are we going to do?

I think there's a gift shop.

Maybe they sell a book with a picture

of Princess Adeline's portrait.

I also wouldn't say no to smelling a bag of prawn crisps.

You're looking for Princess Adeline's portrait?

Yeah, we actually know her.

She goes by Nancy now and she's dressed in a potato sack.

Oh, I would kill to have died in a potato sack.

Oh, I bet she's just able to itch everywhere, huh?

Yeah, and she does.

What, is the suit of armor saying something?

Can you ask him how he went to the bathroom in that thing?

Was it a complete removal, or is there a little latch?

I know the portrait you speak of.

He's saying he remembers the portrait.

Uh, is she wearing this necklace in it?

Yes, yes, that very one,

but despite what the tour guide said,

it was not destroyed in the Great Crumpet Fire of 1973.

That's because a few years before the dread event,

it was donated to the Museum of England in London.

He's saying it didn't burn, it's in a museum now.

-Amazing. All right, let's go take

that picture on that rack and then we can get going.

You don't even show up in pictures.

Yeah, but I'll know I was there.

Hey, guys.

What's going on?

Sam's waiting to see how the studio liked her pitch