Heels

Previously on Heels...

My dad built a coliseum that was so goddamn expensive,

that he buckled.

The locker room's for wrestlers, not valets.

I'm not just a valet. I can wrestle.

Tale as old as time.

Brothers sparring. Cain and Abel.

- You beat Ace on his big night. -

You bought the props to provoke him

when he was trying to win back the crowd.

You humiliated me in front of an entire town.

Did you really plant the Kleenex

in the crowd that night?

How dare you ask me that question?

Who do you know who's been asked

to sing the National Anthem

at the Georgia State Rodeo Championships?

Hey!

I'm so proud of you.

Never thought we'd be the kinda couple

where someone had to leave home in order to make a point.

I'm not in our home right now

because I am worried.

If you don't fix who you're becoming,

you're gonna lose me.

Talk to Ace.

Make it worthy of all this struggle.

And then let's you and me have a talk

about what the future looks like.

Let's go! Throw 'em!

Did you do this?

Not this time.

- They're fighting for real. - No, I can see that.

I can't break kayfabe.

I'm gonna fucking kill you!

Please don't do this. I'm sorry.

- Swear. Please. - Hey, Ace!

Fuck these guys. I'm gonna go get that belt.

Hey.

Move it!

There's no room.

Move your car now!

Ace!

Move your car!

Buddy, you're runnin' hot.

Good luck with this shit.

DWL for life! Whoo!

- - You saved the day, Crystal!

Yeah! She saved the DWL!

Oh, put her up! Put her up! Come on!

Crystal! Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!

Crystal! Crystal! Crystal! Crystal!

Hey, this is Staci. Leave a message.

- - I hope the rodeo went great.

I'm so sorry that I wasn't there.

Um, send me some video when you can.

Love you. Bye.

You have built one hell of a family here.

It ain't like the other places.

Tonight was a triumph, a real triumph.

That was a time capsule event.

Hey, Jackie boy.

Your dad would have been so proud of you.

Thank you, Eddie.

Thank you for being there for us, always.

Absolutely.

Jack, my, oh, my, did you deliver.

That's the loudest this arena's ever been.

I'm ready to close the deal on next year's fair

and the next one,

and let's throw in a third year too.

You just tell me when and where.

Now's as good a time as any. Hey, Willie?

Oh, you must introduce me to Wild Bill.

Ah, it'd be my pleasure.

Just give me a minute.

- Mm-hmm. - Okay.

Let's camp out, wait for Wild Bill,

jump that fake-ass cowboy.

Oh, I'll curb-stomp that dude.

All right, check your TRT levels, boys.

After that finish, we can't fuck the DWL

worse than they just fucked themselves.

That was the dumbest finish I ever saw, okay?

And Jack Spade, rasslin' purist,

he is now deeply, irredeemably fuckin' fucked

in a way he can't unfuck his way out of.

He can shoot a vignette justifying it.

Not if I cut a promo ragging on it first.

Get a phone out.

Kevin, fuck your Android with your green text bubbles, okay?

- - Paul, say when.

Action.

Attention, Dystopian Disciples!

Charlie Gully out here

at the South Georgia State Fair.

In case you missed it,

your new DWL Champion is...

- the valet! -

That's right, the fucking valet!

Bunny Bombshell, who hip-hoppity-hopped

around the ring twitching her cottontail ass

till she got the belt.

According to Jack Spade's logic,

I guess anybody can just grab the belt.

The match is apparently wide open

to anybody or any animal

in the free world.

So if you desire the DWL belt,

get yourself some bunny ears or a pig snout

or a braid of horse-ass hair,

and abra-fucking-cadabra!

The DWL belt can be yours.

- Cut. - Post that!

That fuckin' conceited fuck Jack Spade

is gonna wish he never fucked with me.

Hope the ink don't stain your bra.

- - Thank you.

Well, Shakespeare,

wasn't the way you scripted, but it popped.

I saw you two idiots hammering away,

and I thought it was over,

but we pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

Bunny Bombshell.

You see her rip off the ears?

Hell of a piece of business. So good.

I called that.

She called that.

Look, I'm the one who stood up and saved her ass

so she could save your ass while my ass was leaking.

I'm sure that video of my shame

will soon be trending on Reddit.

Mm-hmm.

Have you seen Ace?

Nah, I was showering, which required

my full concentration and a lotta soap.

You and Ace tore the house down.

You're top guys.

This Cain-Abel thing will take you

to the promised land,

if you both can keep it together.

I know a thing when I see it.

Oh, Jack, there you are.

Hey, Constance.

Bill, this is Constance.

She booked us for the fair.

You are a wise woman, Constance.

Well, we just loved it.

My favorite part was the special effects

with the pants.

I was concerned at first.

Connie, there's not a single part of my body

I can't control.

- Hey, Debbie? - Yeah?

- Have you seen Ace? - Uh, nope.

Uh, excuse me.

Mm.

Yeah!

Ace!

Ace.

Ace!